IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

"Send Ben a text" Tips for How To Stop Over-Thinking and Reprogramming Your Mind The Fist Step is awareness.  The Second Step is to manage your attention. The Third Step is to make things simple.  The Fourth Step is to practice ways of BEING. And the Fifth and Final Step is to trust yourself.  The Firmly Founded Family theme for October is:  Facing Your Fears! On Monday, October 10th, 20...

"Send Ben a text" Negotiation is Important Sometimes I say things that go completely against the grain.  This might be one of those things that might be different from what you've learned.  But I'm going to say it.  Negotiation with your teen IS IMPORTANT! After years of working with teens. one thing I've learned is that if you try to control too much of their life, they w...

"Send Ben a text" On today's episode I discuss how most parents are working from the "Doing" model and how we can "BE" the parents of our dreams if we live in the "BEING" model instead. Check out the show notes at FirmlyFoundedParent.com/118 Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free....

"Send Ben a text" Are you interested in joining a service trip to Mexico? Don't know where to start? In this episode I talk with Stacia Chavez a seasoned expert on doing just that. visit achf.org for more information on how to donate or volunteer. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and ey...

"Send Ben a text" Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-...

"Send Ben a text" Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-...

"Send Ben a text" On this episode I talk with Allison about the Best Mom Ever virtual summit she is hosting. It is all about helping parents create the relationship they dream of with their teenagers. We're not trying to improve parents. Parents are doing their best. Doing your best is good enough. We want to help parents embrace Growth instead of being fixed as a parent. Brené Brow...

"Send Ben a text" Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-...

"Send Ben a text" Powerful Communication Principles Seek to first understand, then to be understood. Listen Validate Seek to understand their model What are their circumstances? How do they think? How are they feeling? What are their actions? What are the results they're creating and what results do they want to create? Understand your own model. Show that you either understand, or...

"Send Ben a text" STOP Parenting By Other's Rules! Okay, this is something that's come up in some of my recent 1:1 coaching session, and I wanted to bring this to your attention so you can hopefully STOP Parenting By Other's Rules.  I've seen parents trying to parent according to the rules of their teens, their spouse or ex-spouse, or even their parents or in-laws. Th...

"Send Ben a text" Amanda Walker is AWESOME! Amanda is a member of the Firmly Founded Family, expert on the nervous system, and a parenting life coach.  I don't really structure my podcasts guest episodes.  This episode is not different.  The show notes are going to be limited. So, if you want all the good stuff, you're going to have to listen.  Connect with Amanda here: https:/...

"Send Ben a text" The Biggest Mistake I get it! Everyone wants a happy thriving family.  But, most parents make the mistake of focusing on everyone else in their family before they even think about themselves.  The problem is, when you focus on others, you lose power in your own life.  The biggest impact on your family will be to transform your own life.  Stop trying to fix everyone arou...

"Send Ben a text" You're Not Committed Have you ever heard the quote, “It's easier to hold your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold them 98 percent of the time,.” by Clayton Christensen? This is the principle of commitment. It's easier to be 100% committed than 98% committed.  If you're struggling to commit, to be committed, work on being committed m...

"Send Ben a text" #1 You're Not Happy With Yourself As A Parent This one is huge. Recently I've had a bunch of parents tell me that they're just not happy as a parent. They feel like they could and should be doing more. They feel like they're failing, and they are miserable.  Okay, maybe miserable is a stretch, but they're not happy.  There are lots of things tha...

"Send Ben a text" You Don't Have To Be the Victim to Stress Seems like lately I've seen a lot of posts about stress and anxiety being terrible and traumatic. Stress gets this terrible wrap, and it seems like most posts talk about the stress response simply being the 4 "F's": Fight, Flight, Freeze, or  Fawn But these posts completely ignore all of the other possib...

"Send Ben a text" Distractions 101 It's human nature to be easily distracted. In fact, distractions aren't necessarily all that bad. It reminds me of this dumb game that my kids play. They pretend to punch each other in the face, and if the other child flinches, the first child says, "two for flinching" and slugs them in the shoulder twice. Flinching isn't bad. I...

"Send Ben a text" Regulating Emotions It's important for teens to learn how to regulate their emotions.  Teens have the power to regulate. Teens Need Their Privacy when Getting Coached There's no right or wrong way to coach.  It's important to give teens privacy and let them be vulnerable.  Teen Work Benefit from Working On What They Want To Work On Teens need the freedom...

"Send Ben a text" Why Do Family Meetings? Increased communication Plan Activities Address Problems Give Family Members a Voice Model/Teach Leadership and Communication Skills Get people on the same team Common Mistakes Not respecting the opinions, thoughts, views, and values of others, Trying to change others. Lecturing/Arguing Not having a clear purpose Giving away your power Recommende...

"Send Ben a text" What Is Bravery? Bravery is facing your fear.  Bravery is a choice.  The world would have you believe that bravery means the absence fear, but I believe bravery is facing your fear and BEing intentional.  Like, brave people don't experience fear, but this isn't true.  Brave people experience fear, just like you, but they have mastered the skill of BEing intent...

"Send Ben a text" Mental and Emotional Health Go Hand In Hand May is mental health month, so I keep seeing lots of posts about mental health.  I wanted to take a minute and share my thoughts on this. I believe that mental and emotional health go hand in hand. Without one, you cannot have the other.  If you want to strengthen one, you'll have to strengthen the other.  If you strength...

"Send Ben a text" You Are The Most Powerful Agent Of Change This might come as a surprise to you, but you are the most powerful agent of change for your family. You are a hero! You have the power to change EVERYTHING in your family, just by changing yourself.  If you are listening to the podcast, you are probably looking for growth and some kind of change in your family, your parenting,...

"Send Ben a text" What is Neurocontrast and Neurodivergent? Neurodivergent is the opposite of neurotypical, often adhd, odd, dyslexia a diagnosis of some type.  Neurocontrast is a little more inclusive. Everyone's brain is different.  Learning is Learning, and Your Teen IS Learning Everyone's brain develops differently. We learn at different speeds. We learn different things at...

"Send Ben a text" Common Mistakes When Setting Boundaries I'm not trying to judge you or how you set boundaries. I'm just trying to share some of the common pitfalls that I've noticed parents often make when trying to set boundaries.  Usually, the only reason I would call it a "mistake" is that it doesn't create the results that they are looking for.  MISTAK...

"Send Ben a text" Sorry for the short show notes again, but I'm still recovering from Covid-19 and I didn't plan this episode ahead of time. Stefanie, Real Life Parent from FFP The Firmly Founded Parent teaches things that are different than what the world would have you believe. The world would teach you that "It's your job to control your teen," but we teach th...

"Send Ben a text" Sorry for the shortest show notes ever, but I've got Covid-19 and a killer headache. What You CAN and CAN NOT Control It's not your job to ensure your child's safety, happiness, or success.  This is hard when it comes to self-harm and suicide. We tend to think that we need to protect our children. At the end of the day, we can only do what is within our c...