Illuminating Anorexia & Eating Disorder Recovery

Have you ever wondered about the voices a person with anorexia experiences?  Escalating Conflict describes the growing conflict and development of ‘voices’ I experienced as my journey down the scales progressed and my eating disorder “solution” became increasingly untenable. I needed to eat. I hated feeling like a burden on my parents but I was increasingly fearful of...

When I first published Illuminating anorexia in 2011 I didn’t think it would be possible to tell the story of a long and complicated eating disorder without some reference to numbers, but then I met Bec, a beautiful 21 year old girl who was anorectic, self harming and recently suicidal. When she told me she would struggle to read a book containing body weight and BMI numbers, I resolved to w...

If you struggle with an eating disorder (ED) or disordered eating (DE) experience, the map (model) I developed in the late 90s will help you SEE why you struggle and what you can do about it. The ED ‘solution’ to the problem of pain will never never take you where you want to go. It will never ‘deliver’ the freedom, inner peace and self acceptance you HUNGER for. Once you S...

This podcast explains why I wrote ‘Illuminating Anorexia’ and describes the first time I recognised that my dieting had “gotten out of control.” It was a wake up call, and yet it would be another year before I was diagnosed with anorexia and began to get the help I needed. Early Intervention is such an important key for recovery. If you identify with this description, this...

This is a radio interview I did with Hamish and Emma on The Dip (94.5FM) prior to the relase of the DSMV. It covers some general info about eating disorders, definitions and differences, media influences, body image, the “perfection lie” and recovery. It should be noted the DSMV no longer includes the 85% expected weight for height criteria that was part of DSM-IV Diagnostic...

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from the final instalment of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished.  My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in...

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 2 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished.  My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in your own uniq...

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 1 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished.  My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in your own uniq...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-4-Take-Action.mp3 KEY 4 The fourth key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take action . The preceding three keys have been preparing you to get to this point where the real “work” of recovery begins. There are a number of action steps to unpack here. The first is to develop a meal plan and plan to eat regul...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-3-Take-Inventory.mp3 KEY 3 The third key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take inventory of where you are at right now. Don’t change a thing. I suggest you use a simple food diary for a week to become aware of the behaviours, thinking, feeling and situations that are currently part of your disordered eating experienc...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-2-Make-A-Decision.mp3 KEY 2 The second key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to make a decision to stop spinning your wheels by ceasing to engage in ED behaviours (restricting, purging and overexercising). This may seem impossible right now.  I get that. That’s why you first need to adjust your vision and SEE that...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-1-Adjust-Your-Vision.mp3 KEY 1 The first key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to adjust your vision and SEE that your destination is not to be stuck on the ED treadmill, spinning your wheels, losing health, opportunities, LIFE! Your destination is freedom and joy, to feel good in your skin, at peace in your soul. Once y...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Keys-introduction.mp3 When I travelled through anorexia, EDNOS and binge-eating as a teen and young adult, I felt like if I could just “get above” the problem maybe I could see a way out of it.  As it was, I felt stuck in a maze, spinning my wheels, losing vision, hope, health and my future. Twenty plus years later, as a f...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/You-are-not-your-body-1.mp3 You are not your Body. Your body is your home. In an image saturated culture it’s good to be reminded that your worth and value as a person do not depend on your physical size, shape or appearance. When we “get” this truth at a deep (core) level it sets us free to look after our body and self in ways that are...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-fight-the-lies-despair-2.mp3 Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired by...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-fight-the-lies-despair-1.mp3 Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired by...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-recover-your-joy-vision-for-life-2.mp3 When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! You deserve...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-recover-your-joy-vision-for-life-1.mp3 When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! You deserve...

Whatever kind of day you’ve had, and  especially  if it’s been a tough day for you, I want to encourage you to  tap into your joy . This is such an important key to help you get off the ED treadmill and recover your life. Take a moment to think of something that brings you joy. Something simple. Something accessible (example, sit outside and feel the sun on your face, or the breeze on...

My parents and I travelled through anorexia & EDNOS in the ‘dark ages’ (late 70s/early 80s) and it made the journey so very tough. It’s one of the reasons I do what I do in this arena. And while there’s a lot more light on the subject & help available now, I believe the clearer you can SEE what you’re dealing with, the easier it is to locate where you (& y...

Any BODY at any WEIGHT can have a (classifiable) eating disorder. Many more people struggle ‘under the radar’ with eating, self & body issues that don’t fit the diagnostic criteria. These ‘life consuming’ problems are big and growing (amongst females and males) and the real struggle is mainly hidden. In this and the last episode, I illuminate the eating disorder l...

Any BODY at any WEIGHT can have a (classifiable) eating disorder. Many more people struggle ‘under the radar’ with eating, self & body issues that don’t fit the diagnostic criteria. These ‘life consuming’ problems are big and growing (amongst females and males) and the real struggle is mainly hidden. In this and the next episode, I will illuminate the eating disor...

I want to speak directly to the person struggling with anorexia. When we begin on this (restrictive) path, we usually feel pretty good about things, better about our ‘ self,’ more competent and in control. We don’t want help. It’s not until the wheels start to fall off that we become open to the possibility that there could be a better way to deal with things. But what then...

I believe illumination is the key and first step on the path to recovery because until we can see the nature of the battle in which we are engaged we will not be in a position to consider our alternatives. We will be fighting in the dark. Many of us will become exhausted and despairing. Some of us won’t make it. This is the devastating truth of anorexia and other eating disorders. But it doe...