Illuminating Anorexia & Eating Disorder Recovery

In the last episode I said that changing core beliefs requires more than just challenging our thinking. We need an encounter with truth that is experiential, life-affirming, full of grace and transformative. I shared how I experience this in relationship with the God who loves me unconditionally.  But another very powerful and healing relationship is the therapeutic relationship where we can re-pr...

In the last few episodes I’ve been speaking about capturing and challenging unhelpful thinking. This is an important tool in getting free from disordered eating but it’s not the whole story. Our thoughts spring out of our deeply held beliefs and these beliefs are formed in the crucible of our self and life experience. To transform these deeper core beliefs we need an encounter with truth that hits...

Have you ever felt so awful about the way you look you’ve stayed at home rather than going out with friends only to end up feeling worse about your SELF and comfort-eating? Let’s use the ABC to catch and challenge unhelpful thinking in this typical disordered eating scenario. I welcome your feedback and questions. michelle@michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes Anorexia and Eating Disorder Recovery Hub

It’s 11.00pm on a Friday night. A bevy of gorgeous young girls pass me wearing the accoutrements of our popular culture. Tight jeans on long slim legs, high heels with teeny tiny mini skirts and tight tops revealing cleavage. Looking sexy, looking hot. Absolutely.  Wanting to be seen, desired, to belong, to be loved. Understandable! Oh but my heart tightens in my chest. I feel concerned the lads t...

Have you ever found yourself reaching for food, comfort eating or bingeing like you’re on autopilot? Before you know it you’ve gone down a track you never intended and it’s not until you stop eating that the resultant anguish and emotional turmoil hits you, and if you don’t take hold of your thoughts right here, chances are you’ll stay on autopilot and purge, punish or comfort eat further – whatev...

Albert Ellis developed a simple ABC framework in the late 1950s to help us “think about our thinking” and to capture the unhelpful thoughts or statements we often say to ourselves with little awareness of the unintended consequences. In this podcast I provide a simple example of how this ABC framework can be used to identify unhelpful thinking and the different thinking sytles that can lead to unp...

If you’ve ever walked in the bush you will have noticed that some tracks are easier to walk down than others because they are well-formed, usually the result of plenty of traffic or use. It’s the same with our thinking. If we want to think differently in order to have new, healthier or better life experiences, we are going to have to put in the effort required to shift out of old habit...

If you’re in a tight space, a small space, or a tired space right now, do you know how to shift that? One of the simplest and best ways I know to do this is to STOP what I am doing and shift my SELF literally and physically. To get up, to get out, to look up, to look out – to change my focus. To position myself above my situation. To put myself in a position where I am above and not beneath the si...

The reason I’m so heated about worth, value and security is because a revelation and experience of these foundational truths deep in your soul will set you free from the lies at the heart of anorexia and other disordered eating experiences. Tall claim but true. Human love, valuing and connection is wonderful and healing (and I’m all for it) but because we are fallible, flawed and finite human bein...

The 4th component of each of the 4 keys (in the 4×4 Freedom Express) is a spiritual component and I believe it’s foundational to getting whole and FREE in any area of life. I adopt a Christian worldview in that I believe human beings (and the world we inhabit) are CREATED, and that influences everything I say and do. What about you? You don’t have to believe what I do but you do n...

Vision is the master key to get FREE from anorexia & eating disorder concerns because unless you can SEE where you are relative to where you want to be, chances are you won’t get to your destination. And if you’re stuck and can’t SEE what’s keeping you stuck, you’ll stay stuck. You need LIGHT and you need VISION. They work together. If you’re lost, in the dark, spinning your wheels or stuck in...

Ever tried to get somewhere you’ve never been before without a map? Difficult isn’t it. But with a map, things become clear, you can spot the dead-ends and plot the most direct route to your destination. Miche’s Model is a simple visual ‘map’ I developed to illustrate how an eating disorder functions and why getting whole and free requires dealing with the ‘heart’ of the problem – our heart....

If you have a question, you can be  confident others have that question too, and the answer to your question can help someone else. I love this concept. It makes this platform infinitely helpful. If you have a question or situation you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear from you. You can keep use a pseudonym & keep any identifying information out of the conversation. michel...

Freedom is a journey that has no end because it is a state of the heart more than anything else – and one can always be growing in one’s sense of inner peace and security. Bondage on the other hand is a small, tight place that can get so dark and airless it threatens to snuff the life right out of you. Freedom has no end but bondage does. I want to encourage you (wherever you are in your ED...

When I think of an eating disorder I think of a small, tight place – a place of confinement or bondage – where one feels driven and constrained; where there is little joy, light, peace or hope. When I think of recovery from an eating disorder I see a wide, open field – a spacious place bathed in sunlight stretching out towards the horizon as far as the eye can see. If we were to plot a...

I believe body acceptance reflects self acceptance; that how we feel towards, think and value our “selves” is the key to how we treat our bodies. I also acknowledge that social and cultural values strongly influence the communities, families and groups we belong to and thus affect how we value our bodies and our selves. To recover from an eating disorder we need to help the individual and address...

Real bodies are real beautiful because they house real people inside. But in a landscape of digitally and physically enhanced bodies, how do we determine where the lines and healthy boundaries are for us in terms of enhancement? These questions are not as simple as they first appear because we all engage in body/self care /enhancement to some degree or another – from the functional to the obsessio...

I did a life drawing studio recently and was impressed by how well this experience translated into a deeper appreciation of how beautiful a “real” body is – it doesn’t need to be air-brushed, pumped up with botox or surgically enhanced to be beautiful. Personally I think REAL is beautiful – I think when we mess with that, we mess with the opportunity to SEE the beauty of the real person shining th...

W hen I speak about the 4×4 Freedom Express I’m not suggesting that recovery is quick or easy. I don’t believe it is. I do believe it can be a wonderful journey however and I AM suggesting there is a more direct route to be taken than spinning your wheels  losing time, life and opportunity on the ED treadmill because you don’t know why you’re stuck, where you’re going or how to get there...

If you’ve ever taken an ALL STOPS train or bus to get to your destination you will know it takes forever and stops at places enroute you have no need or desire to visit…all of which takes precious time from you reaching your destination. Time lost on a train journey may not be significant but when that time is your LIFE and it’s spent spinning your wheels on the ED treadmill, the...

I started this podcast on a roll about freedom but I got sidetracked by a conversation with a mum who was concerned about her 13-year-old daughter with anorexia and the treatment approach that was being taken. This is my response including a message to her 13 year old daughter. In essence I believe a whole person approach is essential to helping someone recover from anorexia and other ED...

I love this quote by John Eldridge, “Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.”  It fits so well with the premise of Women Worth their Weight and the Freedom Express. I believe self acceptance is the key to overcoming disordered eating and developing health and life-affirming behaviours. I believe self rejection is at the heart of disordered eating. The...

I believe the journey out of bondage into freedom requires a whole person approach. It’s not enough to focus on food or regular eating although that is very important. In my own journey from restricting anorexia into binge-eating/purging anorexia the lack of attention to what was going on inside me left me floundering in the dark. This is why light and ILLUMINATION are so important to me and...

When we’re in the midst of anorexia it is very difficult to articulate the struggle we experience within. Our behaviour towards food and body reflect our inner experience (and are highly expressive) but not in a way that most people will understand. I wrote Illuminating  Anorexia to help bridge this gap, to provide a “window in” on what’s going on inside the heart...

Picking up from the last podcast (Why I differentiate Anorexia from other Eating Disorders), I want to now illuminate the experience of restricting anorexia, the tightening treadmill (see also  TreadmillDiagram ) and the movement from restricting sub-type to  binge-eating/purging sub-type. This movement within anorexia is not uncommon, and it can be easily misunderstood. I welcome y...