Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

This week, the Biffs read from Reddit’s Am I The Asshole thread (Aunty AITA). A woman’s presumptuous boyfriend plans a work trip, leaving the responsibility of his kids to her. Someone gets defensive after their moment of levity backfires as insensitivity during a funeral. A professional with experience working with individuals diagnosed with ASD pushes the envelope with a friend about her child’s...

The Biffs give Sally Land of The Sun’s Dear Deidre a run for her money in this week’s episode. What’s a man to do when his wife feel ‘dirty & disgusting’ showing him any sort of affection? Is it curtains for this woman’s cowardly nice-guy? Is Mom in the right to accept blame for her son’s inability to warm up to girlfriend? It’s an episode of conviction and impassioned conversation. [Chateau l...

This week, the Biffs read Natalie Bencivenga’s Ask Natalie for the first-, and certainly not the last-, time. Things go awry for one reader after finding out her best friends knew about her husband’s affair. Following a one night stand, this writer wants to know if she should even trouble the standee for reimbursement related to the termination of the pregnancy. Low libidos bring husbands to consi...

Agony aunt, Coleen Nolan, of UKs Mirror, takes center stage with the Biff's this week. Secret's out and a writer questions whether or not to bring up his partner's affair. Mystery boxers make it home with another writer's wife, following her work trip. A woman wants out of her six-month marriage when her husband begins to treat her as a possession. [90+ Cellars Prosecco] Send us your questions, fe...

This week, the Biffs give advice in response to listener questions. It’s a soap opera scenario when a writer’s long lost twin ends up with her ex-. What we’re sure is a Lifetime movie plot gets a PBS response when a man confesses to his girlfriend that he’s investigating her family. Finally, a ghost-writing best friend wants in on the accolades that the credited author is receiving. Do you need ad...

The Biffs take on artificial intelligence this week with ridiculous questions generated by Chat GPT using the prompt, "Twisted questions and scenarios you would send the Biffs of Ill Advised w/ Stefani & Ray, an advice podcast." Let's take a break from the norm and take on a chatty parrot, a spell gone awry, gossiping rodents, and a family of buccaneers. How the AI platform responds will shock...

The BiFFs hit the Slate’s trusted How To Do It column this week. A barely legal young woman asks if she should go “all the way” with her step dad. A man’s stupid face is a barrier to getting his wife off. Lastly, learn how to handle a homophobic homosexual’s disturbing online persona. [Misty Cove Estate Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to illad...

It’s been a minute, so the BiFFs revisit Toronto Life’s Urban Diplomat this week for some fun discussion. Potty-mouth-Penny and her foul influence is tainting the carpool. Social media past puts a grad-school-grad’s career in jeopardy. An Uber rider isn’t keen on stars for stars. A pro-life sticker has potential for a spike in car insurance claims. Finally, a senseless streetcar rider shares her p...

The BiFFs take to The New York Times’ The Ethicist Column, this week. A step-mother feigns love for her step-children, even decades later. Estranged siblings leave a writer debating going around the sister to meet nieces and nephews. Suspected child-abuse leaves a writer unable to reconcile their own ethical dilemma. [Pacha Reserva Carmenere, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine r...

The BiFFs test their Sense and Sensitivity this week with Harriette Cole’s column. A woman puts herself on the line to hide her best friend’s affair. A woman flags her ex- for trying to worm his way back into their toxic situation. Mom’s feelings for gay dad cloud her judgement as a parent. Exes living under the same roof fail to set the ground rules for at-home-rebounds. [Prophecy Buttery Chardon...

It's back to the classics this week for the BiFFs, with Dear Abby. A woman's willingness to help another, and protect her right to choose, leads to divorce. A husband's trips with his ex-wife and their daughters, leaves his new wife with unsettled tropical romance vibes. A sister in denial, spins her toxic relationship into post-mortem glorification. [Riff Pinot Grigio, 2019] Send us your question...

This week, the BiFFs discuss The Guardian's advice column penned by Eleanor Gordon-Smith, with 'fupas on fleek.' Stefani and Ray discuss what body image is to a seven-month old baby, and how that translates to future perception. And a writer's ex-husband and children warm up to the mistress that destroyed their marriage twenty years earlier, when she re-enters their lives. [Mt. Beautiful Sauvignon...

In this week’s episode, the BiFFs return with the Slate’s Dear Prudence column. It’s all rainbows and butterflies until you find your husbands slam book on his computer. A guilt-ridden writer just wants peace years after framing her sister for a domestic crime. And Mom, when the door’s closed and the vacuum’s running, maybe knock? [Double Black Cabernet Sauvignon, 2020] Send us your questions, fee...

A mother with a convoluted experience with her husband and his interfamilial relations spurs a long and thoughtful discussion with the BiFFs. BFFL Shorty drops in with a question of her own when a conniving ex- pushes the envelope, encroaching on her professional life. [Voga Prosecco] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to illadvisedthepodcast@gmail.com. Find sources/cr...

Rachel Sievers (counselor, coach, & retired psycho-therapist) of the Consent to Treat Podcast joins the BiFFs this week to peruse the Washington Post’s Ask Amy Column. A father asks whether he should warn his future son-in-law about the psychological perils that await him, pre-nuptials. A writer asks for guidance for dealing with her psychologist-sister’s niche for crossing boundaries. Stefani...

It’s Pride Month and what better way to kick it off than with Metrosource’s Ask Daddy, an advice column for LGBTQ readers. A man struggles to reassure his partner, despite his unconditional support as she navigates her gender identity. Another contemplates the future after catching his man having intimate conversations with his ex. And finally, a writer asks for a definition of “masculinity” in th...

The BiFFs are joined by lifelong bestie, Shorty (Chantay), to help answer one of life's long-pondered questions: Am I the Assh*le? Join them as they go through the Reddit thread to tackle some interesting scenarios, such as: when your boyfriend gets mad at you for being in a bathing suit, laughing at your sister-in-law when she asks for help with her weight, and being a secret to your partner's ho...

This week, the BiFFs revisit Carloyn Hax and her column. A friendship faces uncertainty when a reader is labeled as ‘no fun’ by her best-friend when her focus is evading the husband’s advances. A Mother-in-Law with manipulative side-eye rocks another reader’s peace. And a boyfriend faces-off with his girlfriend’s mastermind cat. [Lobster Reef Sauvignon Blanc, 2022] Send us your questions, feedback...

Tried and tested, the Slate's "How To Do It" column takes up the conversation between the BiFFs this week. A man discovers he likes to be watched when his neighbor goes looking for her missing cat. Another's constant attempts at consoling his wife makes for an alright-sex-life. A writer's budding new fetish is threatened by his very livelihood. And Stefani's sister has a question for the BiFFs. [B...

This week, the BiFFs are joined by Philasophikal & J. Ecko, hosts of the Let’s Rap Podcast. The group has an open and honest conversation about the emotional dynamics of men and women ; how love is given, perceived, and received; and communicating specific needs to your partner . It’s a special episode you won’t want to miss. [Amici Cabernet Sauvignon, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &...

This BiFFs are all over the relationship map this week with Sex Column (Metro.co.uk), including: the age old story of son meets wife, wife sleeps with step-dad; keeping the baby based on a ghosting baby daddy; a real life application of attachment theory; and a chauvinist man who thinks of his wife’s friend during sex. [Ruggero di Bardo Susumaniello, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &/o...

The BiFFs love Meredith’s column so much, that it’s back to Love Letters this week with: a ‘tricked ya’ proposal, an immature silent-treatment-loving husband, and yearning for an ex- in the middle of a pregnancy. [Carnivore Cabernet Sauvignon, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to illadvisedthepodcast@gmail.com. Find sources/credits for this and all of our episod...

This week, the BiFFs take on Meredith of the Boston Globe's, Love Letters. It's a series of relationship woes, including a man who hardly acknowledges his son, a wife whose husband's kissing skills are lacking, and fourth-time's-the-charm break-up remorse. [Aix Rosé, 2021] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to illadvisedthepodcast@gmail.com. Find sources/credits for th...

Stefani & Ray talk Harriette Cole’s column, “Sense & Sensitivity.” A woman feels betrayed when her man reveals her deepest secret to his mother. A writer blames their mentor for missed opportunities. Another’s vulnerability with their partner leaves them yearning for a different reaction. A high school bully tries to make amends, but her now adult victim isn’t buying it. [Viña Las Perdices...

The BiFFs take on Susan Writer’s “Ask Someone Else’s Mom” column this week. From a liquor motivated preteen and classic-construction-wrecking-millennials, to cautious parents and in-laws - don’t miss these interesting discussions. [Arrogant Frog ‘Lily Pad White’ Chardonnay, 2019] Send us your questions, feedback, &/or wine recommendations to illadvisedthepodcast@gmail.com. Find sources/credits...