Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

Stefani and Ray read from the Ask Amy advice column. A writer questions her dying father-in-law’s legacy, when his reputation as a cop is tainted. Another asks about her friend’s penchant for venting on social media and whether she should approach her about it. Finally, a woman finds a secret life on her boyfriend’s cell phone, post-mortem, and can’t bring herself to mourn his passing. [Chateau Bl...

The Biffs read from the classic Dear Abby column this week. A woman weighs the fairness of her husband’s ultimatum to choose between him or their son and his family. Another contemplates contacting her sweetheart’s other girlfriend just so that she knows she exists. A woman in a long-term relationship questions everything when her daughter and her partner’s son fall in love. The last writer wonder...

In this week’s episode, the Biffs read from Zachary Zane’s Explain It Column from MensHealth.com. One man finds it hard to submit to his sexual desires when his not-sex-positive Mom who is all up in his business, is tracking his location. An older woman orders out frequently in hopes that she’ll one day get the nerve to seduce her delivery boy. Finally, a man ask’s for guidance in a situation wher...

Stefani and Ray visit Natalie Bencivenga's, Ask Natalie column, in this week's episode. An engaged woman, three years into her relationship, questions her fiancé’s position against meeting her future in-laws. A woman is shamed by her friends when she wants to ghost on the man she’s been dating, after their first time in bed together. A sister’s drunken attempt at her brother-in-law, causes another...

Stefani and Ray take questions from the Facebook group, "High Value Feminine Women," in this week's episode. One woman reaches out to ask for advice in her relationship and winds up talking herself out of it mid-post. Another finds pictures of her man with his ex-wife, with whom he has a child, and questions the validity of the feelings she’s experiencing. Finally, the Biffs discuss another writer...

This week's episode is mini, but fun. The Biffs revisit Reddit's Am I the Asshole Thread. A man asks if he's a jerk for telling his aunt that her man's given up on her when she asks for advice. Another is put off by a yogi's theatrics in the sauna, as he downward-dogs and spreads without so much as a loincloth. Make sure to join us next week as we continue our dive into this thread. [Josh Prosecco...

Stefani and Ray visit the Metro.co.uk’s Agony Aunt, Em Clarkson, in this week’s episode. A writer worries about their best friend’s borderline obsession with her beau. One half a relationship has absolutely had it, but doesn’t know how to tell her husband that it’s over. OnlyFans becomes a topic for debate among the Biffs when a woman feels betrayed by her boyfriend after discovering his subscript...

It’s another trip down memory lane this week. Follow along with the Biffs as they revisit columns from Dear Kiki, Urban Diplomat, and the Slate’s How To Do It. A woman dying to peg her boyfriend has a hard time finding the words to have the discussion with him. An employee walks into his Boss’s office only to find him watching films of the adult variety. A man going to town on himself is caught by...

This week, the Biffs catch up with Carolyn Hax’s column on the Washington Post. A friendship that should stand the test of time doesn’t when one’s expectations go unmet. Weed - it’s what’s for dinner - and this dinner guest can’t keep their balance long enough to communicate their frustration over crossed boundaries. Dad’s playing sugar daddy while mom’s working extra hard to keep up with the bill...

In their one-hundredth episode, honorary Biffs (the West Coast Biffs) Rachel Sievers and Ellie-the-Editor of the Answer to Everything Podcast, join Stefani and Ray to celebrate with a bottle of champagne. Ben is surprised and intrigued by his alter-ego Britney. Competitive tooth-brushing masks a fictional couple’s real issues. Cyber-ghosts haunt an imaginative and creative internet surfer. Join th...

Happy New Year. This week's episode reflects on some of the best of 2023, as we work up to our centennial episode. Listen on and revisit more of their favorite columns, with questions from Ask Logan, Ask Daddy, and the Ethicist. A husband hides his wife's only form of sexual pleasure. A writer's partner wants to be his boyfriend when out and about, but prefers the pronoun "she" in private. An auth...

It's back to the Slate's "Dear Prudence" column for Stefani & Ray this week. A whole family dynamic shifts when a man decides against donating another sample of his own sperm to his sister and her wife. When another man's brother and best-man's tendency to hire escorts for dinner is exposed, his fiancee's reaction threatens to end their engagement. Lastly, a writer is angered and perplexed wit...

In this week's episode, the Biffs read from Annie Lane's Dear Annie Column. A wife's secret sexual past leaves her husband of fifty years searching for the deep intimacy that once connected them. An adult couple is forced to exist behind closed doors when a man's family refuses to accept his girlfriend, for reasons unknown. A man struggles to find refuge in his girlfriend when she weaponizes his e...

The Biffs test their skills against advice from Coleen Nolan of the Mirror UK. A mother with knowledge of her daughter’s beau’s past questions whether to tell her or not. A man places a camera in the shower in hopes of spying on his wife and ending his 15-year-dry-spell. Finally, a woman meets a man at a wedding and suddenly she wants more than what her husband can offer. [Gualdo del Re Sangiovese...

This week, the Biffs read from Reddit’s Am I The Asshole. A parent’s personal choice results in their child’s bullying and his shifting the burden to another family member. At a college party, a personal question about his penis prompts a writer to respond with a similar personal question about a co-ed’s level of baldness down-south. Navigate these interesting social situations with Stefani and Ra...

This Biffs regrettably follow-through with last week’s promise to revisit Cary Tennis’s advice column from Salon.com. Stefani and Ray differ in opinion on how to handle a situation when a baby sister is discovered to have a criminal record. A man transfers some of his angst and grief onto his partner following the passing of his ‘monster’ of a mother, and he doesn’t even see it. [The Pale Rosé, 20...

This week’s episode features questions from Cary Tennis’s advice column from Salon.com. One writer wonders how to keep their mother from traumatizing their kid sister the same way they were affected, by breastfeeding them for too long. Another writer is questioning their contributions to a series of events when their friend tries to run them over with her new beamer. [Chateau de Lacarelle Beaujola...

Dear Mrs. Web, personal advice for your life, peaks the interest of the Biffs in this episode. A single, professional, young woman who has it all, questions why she actually has nothing aside from the material. Another woman’s near-, albeit dishonest tryst with her best friend’s fiancé, leaves her contemplating the benefits of coming clean years later. The final writer asks for what she’s doing in...

This week, the Biffs revisit How To Do It, Slate.com's sex advice column. One writer’s question deals with a low-libido remedied by liquid courage. A husband’s size isn’t an issue for 19 years, until his wife makes a targeted crack in a drunken stupor. A college student’s knack for “face painting” get’s him in trouble with his girlfriend’s girlfriends, calling his respect for women to question. [C...

In Best of the Biffs Part 2, relive some conversations from episodes such as Rectum Ralph, Aunty AITA, Side of Raunch, Gaslighty, and more. In these episodes, they cover some of your favorite columnist from Amy Dickinson to E. Jean Carolle, as well as some of your favorites from the Slate. Laugh at the ridiculous banter. Giggle at the over-reaching puns. Just another weekly chuckle with Stefani &a...

Let’s take a walk down memory lane - a throwback to our first year in podcasting. A “Coffee Shop Karen” from episode 8, wants peace and quiet in a public establishment. From episode 9 (Let Him in Marjorie), a writer’s couples therapist dumps “them” for “him.” And finally, one really long hair on a toe in episode 5 (One Toe One Hair) is the only flaw that this writer sees in his partner. Send us yo...

Stefani and Ray talk ‘Ask Amy’ in this week’s episode. A man in his 60s questions his cyber relationship with a twenty-something in the Philippines when he begins to support her financially, despite never having met. A husband snoops on his wife’s computer or phone while she’s using it. A past eating disorder is informing Mom’s present anxieties about her daughter’s possible relapse. And plucking...

This week, the Biffs take on the Independent’s Virginia Ironside. A family’s dislike for their son’s ex-girlfriend intensifies when she decides to keep the child they conceived post-breakup. A mom writes in with the idea of kidnapping her daughter because she’s been brainwashed by a cult. Finally, a writer shows concern for their psychological health when their lack of empathy is self-diagnosed as...

Stefani and Ray read from The Slate's Dear Prudence column, in this week's episode. A man grinds up against his girlfriend in his sleep, calling for his ex-. A woman discovers her wife's secret and mysterious checking account. Sister's quarrel over the importance of one's wedding over the other's vacation. Finally, a man is looking for the words to tell his boyfriend that he's not interested in li...

It’s back to the classics this week with life advice from the one and only Dear Abby. A woman ponders her future with her husband after constant gaslighting following sexual assault. When the boyfriend is away for work, the naked, divorced spiritual advisor physically heals his girlfriend, then sleeps over. “Kennedy’s” volleyball future is threatened by Dad’s bigoted views on her trans coach. Fina...