Ill Advised with Stefani & Ray

This week, the Biffs serve up a best-of compilation of some of our most unhinged, emotionally loaded, and “oh wow we really said that” advice moments. From Ask Natalie dilemmas about a partner sliding into control after Trump’s re-election and finding out your best friend knew about your husband’s affair, to one Slate How To Do It scenario that fully redefined the phrase “family issues.” Stefani a...

Is he private… or are you a secret? This week, the Biffs crack open Ask Natalie and dive into three modern relationship nightmares: a boyfriend who won’t acknowledge your existence, Venmo emoji payments to a suspicious “gym friend,” and a best friend who hates you like it’s her full-time job. Stefani and Ray unpack the power plays, the plausible deniability, and the quiet moments where your nervou...

This week, the Biffs dive into Coleen Nolan’s Mirror column and immediately ask: should we be allowed to know this much about strangers? We’ve got forbidden fantasies about a fiancé’s sister (ma’am??), a working parent doing pre-shift cocaine while the kids remain blissfully unaware, and a grief dilemma where “respecting wishes” collides with “I still need closure.” It’s horny, dark, sad, and some...

This week, the Biffs drop into Reddit’s Am I the Asshole?, where feelings are inconvenient and accountability is theoretical. A man asks his wife to stop crying in a Home Depot like it’s a customer service issue, another apologizes to his mom for his wife to keep Family Day “smooth,” and a friendship detonates when a dog eats someone else’s meds and a $1,500 vet bill shows up demanding answers. St...

This week, the Biffs crack open The Washington Post’s Carolyn Hax column and immediately regret having functional nervous systems. We tackle a family who keeps serving seafood despite a life-threatening allergy (because vibes > survival, apparently), a woman wondering if it’s fine to marry a man she’s not excited about as long as he’d make a solid dad, and a soon-to-be father who went bungee ju...

This week, the Biffs dive into Lizzy Acker’s Why Tho? column, where the drama is feral, the boundaries are theoretical, and everyone’s courage seems to come from a mysterious off-brand energy drink. We’re talking: a wife who unilaterally opens her marriage and detonates an entire friend group, a boyfriend who wants to “gently” tell his girlfriend her facial hair is ruining his life (spoiler: there...

This week, the Biffs tackle Thanksgiving chaos courtesy of Dear Prudence and Dear Abby: one man is appalled his wife wants to help the less fortunate on a holiday (unthinkable), and one older sister is being roped into cooking the entire feast for a sibling who’s “hosting” in name only. Stefani and Ray bring peak sarcasm and zero patience for seasonal nonsense. Expect righteous indignation, a touc...

This week, the Biffs dive into Slate’s How To Do It, where the sex is messy, the signals are mixed, and every letter reads like it was written mid–panic spiral. We tackle: a husband rattled by a “joke” from his wife that lands way too close to home; a guy overwhelmed by his girlfriend’s marathon-level orgasm skills; and a couples’ night that detonates when one husband goes feral for the wrong pers...

From body odor to boundary issues, this week’s reading of the Dear Annie column is giving eau de despair. One writer’s begging HR to handle a fetid coworker, another’s stuck between her mother-in-law’s feuding daughters, and someone’s “service animal” story is pure fiction. The Biffs tackle it all with equal parts compassion, chaos, and questionable ethics." [Marchese di Borgosole Rosé] Send us yo...

This week, the Biffs celebrate 150 episodes by heading to Reddit’s messy courthouse - Am I The Asshole? - to judge three cases that range from petty to downright sociopathic. We’ve got a neighborly heist involving patio furniture and audacity, a revenge bridesmaid in a color rebellion, and a “death wasn’t a tragedy” hot take that’ll make you clutch your pearls. Moral clarity? Never heard of her. [...

A fiancé in love with his AI “girlfriend.” A food influencer who turns a first date into content. A boyfriend who live-streams arguments for likes. This week, the Biffs dig into three Ask Natalie letters that prove dating has gone full Black Mirror. Between the clout-chasing, the codependency, and the collective loss of shame, Stefani and Ray ask the real question: is there any love left that does...

This week, Stefani and Ray put the advice column down and turn the spotlight on themselves—answering the kind of unhinged, cockamamie questions only ChatGPT could dream up. From ghosting for the pettiest reasons to drag-naming their unresolved trauma, the Biffs get brutally honest and painfully funny about their own mess. Turns out, nothing makes you face yourself quite like bad hypotheticals and...

Lies, loathing, and a whole lot of family baggage—it’s a triple feature in this week’s episode when the Biffs read from the Independent's Dear Vix column. First, a compulsive storyteller whose “white lies” have evolved into full-blown epic sagas. Next, a mom who swears she’d take a bullet for her daughter… but would rather not take her to brunch. And to round it out, someone finally blurts the uns...

A nosy neighbor, a leaked sex tape, and a family secret one spit tube away from detonating—welcome back to Prudie’s wild ride [Dear Prudence, Slate.com. This week, the Biffs tackle three disasters in the making: a kid who takes revenge on a cop-calling neighbor, a risqué video that lands in the wrong inbox, and DNA test results that could unravel a whole family. Stefani and Ray weigh in with their...

This week, Colleen Nolan’s (Mirror.co.uk) inbox is a circus and we’ve got front-row seats. A man secretly pays off his wife’s ex-husband like it’s hush money for his own conscience. A woman brags about cheating on her husband with a coworker and somehow thinks “no guilt” is a personality trait. And another poor soul can’t stop dreaming about a high school crush while insisting she’s totally happy...

Out of the Vault: One bride’s recycling her heartbreak couture, another diner’s beefing with the blue-plate special crowd, and someone’s about to ghost a group chat with more drama than a telenovela. This week, the Biffs weigh in on three Am I the Asshole (Reddit) posts that range from petty to petty iconic: should you wear the dress even if it was meant for your ex, clap back at elderly buffet bu...

Out of the Vault: A wife’s uncomfortably close bond with her stepdad has her husband spiraling; a boyfriend thinks a lie detector is the secret to lasting love (and they say romance is dead); and a sister is ready to go to war with her late brother’s abusive widow. Stefani and Ray dive headfirst into the drama of Dear Abby, serving up side-eye, sharp takes, and just enough empathy to make it sting...

Out of the Vault: The summer vacation continues with another unreleased recording. A hidden video. A bizarre bedroom ultimatum. And the Sunshine State taking its “Florida Man” energy straight to the law books. This week, the Biffs wade into three deeply unsexy messes from Slate’s How to Do It column: the girlfriend who found exactly what her boyfriend didn’t want her to see, the woman stuck with a...

Out of the Vault: Previously recorded and unaired, this week the Biffs read from Ask Natalie. He’s married. You’re pregnant. And he thinks the solution is as easy as hitting delete. Then, your bestie’s open marriage suddenly includes your husband—and no one asked your opinion. This week, Stefani and Ray dive headfirst into the kind of chaos that makes you want to throw your phone in the ocean. Exp...

A mistress meet-cute at the nail salon. A stolen baby name (the audacity!). And a Golden Corral showdown that wasn’t even their first. This week, the Biffs tackle three delightfully deranged dilemmas from Slate’s Dear Prudence column, including: what to do when you and your boyfriend’s side piece go full spy-movie, whether baby names are fair game (spoiler: not if you’re a traitor), and how to cop...

A disappearing best friend who still lurks in case she needs something. A guy who shoots his shot via BCC. And a man losing sleep because his girlfriend’s on OnlyFans. This week, the Biffs dig into three very relatable modern-day dilemmas pulled from Love Letters: the blurred line between ghosting and passive-aggressive friendship, the wild west of digital dating etiquette, and the fragile male eg...

This week’s mess includes backne, breakups, and body lotion masquerading as soap. Stefani and Ray dive into four gloriously messy AITA questions: the guy who asked his sister-in-law to sunscreen his bacne, the girlfriend who gave her boyfriend the crop treatment (literally), the almost-stalker who let a stranger cry it out, and the man who’s been washing his hands with body lotion for three weeks...

Love is hard. Boundaries are harder. And your boyfriend’s about to cry again. This week, the Biffs dive into three emotionally chaotic conundrums: what to do when the dating drought has you questioning if marriage is even in the cards, how to end things with your boyfriend without emotionally wrecking him, and how to draw the line with your dad’s new wife without blowing up the family group chat....

A psychic says dump him—so should she? This week, the Biffs dive into three very modern meltdowns, from The Independent's Dear Vix Column. trusting tarot over your own intuition, obsessing over your boyfriend’s ex (oops), and losing a friend to her walking red flag of a man. Stefani and Ray bring their signature best-friend banter and wine-fueled wisdom to the mess, offering emotionally honest (an...

This Biffs read from R. Eric Thomas’s advice column this week. A writer’s distrust in their second husband has them questioning if they should contact the first wife to get their real story. Another writer's sister-in-law loads up her car with her own thoughts of her inheritance following their parent’s death. Finally, tensions run high when a man’s one night stand resurfaces after forty-three yea...