If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me

Welcome to Don't Be Sorry, Be Giles, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we watched Season 3, Episode 12, "Helpless." In this episode, we talk plot and firsts (2:00), rites of passage (13:30), and Cruciamentum and David Fury (24:00). Then we yell (50:00), watch (1:05:00) and rank (1:07:00). / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tum...

Welcome to The Knights of Byzantium, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we're back (and in 1999) for "Gingerbread." In this episode, we talk plot (2:00), Satanic Panic (11:00), the Five Phases of Joyce during the episode (24:00) before we yell (35:20) and watch (48:30) and rank (51:00). / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr...

Welcome to Herbert the Pig, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me!  This week, we close out 1998/2018 with "Amends." In this episode, we talk plot and firsts (2:00), The First (13:50), Amends in the episodes (25:00). After formalities, we yell at each other (37:15), watches (56:30), and rankings (1:02:00)  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | T...

Welcome to Bloodstone Vengeance Spell also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! You've been hoping and dreaming but have you been wishing for Season 3, episode 9, "The Wish?"  This episode is packed to the brim: Kelly breaks down the plot (1:50) and a couple firsts (3:30) followed by a segment we just need to call "Facts" as they're neither fun nor sad (7:15). Together they talk about the lo...

Welcome to I May Be Dead, But I'm Still Pretty, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we near the end of 1998 with Season 3, Episode 8, "Lovers Walk."  In this episode, we talk SATs (10:00) and the various lovers walking about in this episode (24:30). We yell (38:45), go through our watches (50:00) and rank the episode (55:00).  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on...

Welcome to We're Out of Weetabix, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we'd be able to feel our phantom limb if we hadn't exploded in "Revelations."  In this episode, we talk Faith (9:00), the Council, Gwen Post, the Darkhul King and Living Flame (17:00), before we dig into the library confrontation at the heart of the episode (30:00). We close with yelling (39:30), our Weekly...

Welcome to 1630 Revello Drive, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we eat the chocolate and rave about the certifiable classic, "Band Candy!"  In this episode, we talk human sacrifices (12:00), spend too much time on the end/snake monster before realizing how GREAT this episode is (20:20), discuss why the episode is fire (26:00) and mull on Joyce because this is a Joyce podca...

Welcome to Do You Have a Musket?, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we watched Season 3, Episode 5, "Homecoming."  In this episode, we talk the prospective queen's strengths and weaknesses (5:30), Slayer Fest 98 and filler episodes as an art form (9:00) and the tradition of homecoming (21:00). Naturally, we yell (36:40) and rank this sucker (51:30).  / Full show notes at ou...

Welcome to Moose Getting a Sponge Bath, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week, we revisit Season 3, Episode 4: "Beauty and the Beasts."  In this episode, we begin with the failed 1983 venture "Manimal" and the tale of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (8:00). Discussing the episode (20:30), we delve into Screepy Pete and Debbie, the non-existence of Mr. Platt, and the big bad of the epis...

Welcome to Double Meat Medley, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we introduce Faith with "Faith Hope and Trick."  In this episode, we talk Kelly's defense of Faith (4:00), the rest our relationships to Faith (6:00), sex (16:00), and our continuing sadness at the lack of lore in Buffy (21:00). We yell at each other (33:00) and rank this sucker (50:00).  / Full show notes at...

Welcome to Mr. Gordo, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we continue through Season 3 with the worst party in TV history, "Dead Man's Party."  In this episode, we talk masks (5:00), turmoil among our friends (17:00), the story mechanics (24:00) and what we're supposed to learn (30:00). Our yelling section is sponsored by empanada continuity (32:00) and our rankings are where...

Welcome to Music for Elevators, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we begin Season 3, which premiered 20 years ago TODAY! We'll start where they decided to: "Anne."  In this episode, we talk Buffy's location (7:15), homelessness (31:20), and the foundry at the heart of this episode (39:00), all while chatting about aspects of the show. We close with some yelling (48:00) and...

Welcome to A World With Nothing But Shrimp also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. We made it! We're here! The season 2 finale - "Becoming, Pt. 2" is here!  We talk about dat ending; Jenny Calendar's "return;" debate the merits of Whistler showing back up; reach the lowest point of Joyce as a mother to her only daughter, Buffy Summers; try to name Spike and Buffy's rock band but can't pin...

Welcome to A World Without Shrimp also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we watched the penultimate "Becoming, Pt. 1." We talk plot, Whistler and missed opportunities, Buffy and Angel, and the vehicles of death used on the show. / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr / Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 2 /...

Welcome to Insane Troll Logic also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we're looking at Season 2, episode 20 - "Go Fish."  We talk plots, steroids, the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Join us for a better conversation than episode we had on our hands.  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr / Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Pod...

Welcome to Desperate For a Shag, Giles? also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we return after a long hiatus (blame '90s TV folks, not me) with the undeniably great "I Only Have Eyes for You"  In the episode, we talk plot, the structure of the episode, the display of talent on all sides in those final moments of the show (after the horrible CGI wasps). But you'll also hear us ta...

Welcome to Lucky 19 also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. We watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer in order with its premiere dates from 20 years ago. This is season 2, episode 18 - "Killed By Death."  After hitting play, you'll hear us talk nonsensical storylines, learn how to "science" and "doctor," why Angel being on this episode is just a bad idea and one of us ranks this as the worst episo...

Welcome to Inspired by your beauty... Effulgent also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This week we look at Season 2, Episode 17, "Passion."  We talk Jenny, we talk death in the Whedon-verse, we talk THE ROOM in relate to Jenny buying the Orb. Hey, we loved the episode to pieces but it ain't free of faults and insanity. It's one of Buffy's great episodes and it's one of If the Apocalypse...

Welcome to I Hope It's a Funny Aneurysm also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. Today, we have a super-sized episode just for you!  We dig deep in this Xander-centric classic (says Daniel) dumpster fire (says Stacia)! We just about discuss everything so come join us in one of the biggest episodes for this show so far.  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitter | I...

Welcome to Amy's Rat Cage also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! This is the Buffy podcast that watches the show in real-time from 20 years ago. This week: Season 2's "Phases."  We talk plot, we talk werewolves, we talk sex (or it seems we can't stop talking about it). Try not to be a couple of guys and come have a listen.  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Linktree | Twitt...

Welcome to Cleavagy Slut-Bomb also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me!  We've moved to a new date in 1998, which ripples outward across space and time into this timeline, for Season 2's 14th episode, "Innocence." We talk teen sex, dive into the complexities of characters and their motivations, wonder aloud about Xander, question Jenny's actions, and marvel at Oz and Willow. Oh, we also get...

Welcome to Miss Kitty Fantastico, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me! #BuffySlays20 is back on track with Season 2, Episode 13 "Surprise."  To say we were surprised by this episode is an understatement... surprised at how not great it is! We talk a lot about the pairings that have naturally happened: Oz and Willow, Xander and Cordelia, Giles and Jenny (!), and, yeah yeah, Buffy and Ang...

Welcome to 2018! This is The Funny Syphilis, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. Today, we're headed back to Sunnydale to talk about the divisive "Bad Eggs."  We talk plot, we talk Joyce, we talk S-E-X. If you love Buffy or egg puns, enjoy!  / Full show notes at our website / @beepmepod on Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr / Beep Me Hyphen Funtime Playlist for Podcast Fans, Season 2 / Next...

Welcome to I Gave Birth to a Pterodactyl, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. This week it's definitely not Thanksgiving as we feast on Season 2's "Ted."  We look into Nice Guys, Ted's cooking, why Joyce is (or isn't?) the worst, and play some mini-golf. Come join us before the robots catch on... which, now that I mention it, where are the robots?!  See you in 2018 as #BuffySlays20 mar...

Welcome to I Wear the Cheese, It Does Not Wear Me, also known as If the Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me. This week we look at "What's My Line, Pt. 2!"  We talk plots, we talk firsts, we get deep into Slayer lore (or what there is of lore), accents and the communicative burden. As Kelly notes about the episode, "accepting help from others can be hard, and scary, but is often beneficial," and just like Bu...