If I Speak

A special announcement: Moya and Ash will host a festive edition of If I Speak on 16th December. Joining us at EartH in East London will be special guest Jordan Stephens – actor, writer, one half of Rizzle Kicks and the author of a bestselling memoir, Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak and Dogs! Tickets are available now from Dice . Our north-west special ones can still grab tickets to If I Speak live a...

Come and see us live on 25th November in Manchester with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There! Tickets are available now from Contact Theatre . Inspired by a famous pop psychology quiz, Moya and Ash tackle a quiz about the culture that shaped them, from celebrity crushes to memorable quotes. Plus: advice for a young fiancé who’s losing interest in his partner. Send us your dil...

We’re coming to Manchester! On 25th November we’ll be at Contact Theatre for a live show with special guest Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There. Tickets are available now from the Contact website ! This week, Moya and Ash offer a thought for spooky season: why do love hearing other people’s horror stories? Plus: Moya spills on a dating disaster, and a dilemma about a mentoring relati...

*Display your Special One status with our only piece of merch so far – a bag! Available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya and Ash are joined by Kemi Alemoru, editorial director of Glamour UK, to analyse the current state of pop culture, from Taylor Swift to A24. Has pop turned to slop? Or is it on us to fix our algorithmic intake? Plus: advice on a workplace crush. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@no...

*Flag your Special One status with a massive foldable Baggu bag, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Are you a stranger dater or a fan of the ‘indeterminate hang’? Moya and Ash explain their very different approaches to a first date. Plus: advice for an unhappy house-sharer. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*We’ve got merch! It’s a big foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Prompted by Elena Ferrante’s novel My Brilliant Friend, Ash wonders what makes Moya jealous. Can friendships survive a power imbalance? What happens when YOU are the brilliant friend? And is jealousy a crucial part of desire? Reading: Wounded Attachment by Wendy Brown Send us your dilemmas:...

*Join the Baggu believers: it’s a huge foldable bag just for Special Ones, available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya wants to stop hating men and start building trust, which means a dialogue about all the things that make that difficult: objectification, racist over-sexualisation, degrading comments, and rape (TW: 27m; 40m). Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*We’ve got merch. Gift yourself the If I Speak x Baggu bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com* A mystery question from producer Chal prompts a conversation about secrets in romantic relationships – from watching porn to cheating with an AI boyfriend. Plus: advice for an autistic dater who’s been banned from Hinge. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*Flag your Special One status with our official tote bag, only from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya has a simple proposition: September is the best month for fresh starts. But why do we always want a clean slate? Plus, a straight white man who’s trying to be good and getting flak for it anyway. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*Check out the official If I Speak tote bag on shop.novaramedia.com* Moya and Ash tackle your dilemmas, featuring a middle-class mum who’s become distant and critical, an ex-boyfriend who’s blowing hot and cold, a looming holiday with an abuser, a single man wondering where all the single women are hiding, and a twenty-something struggling to build friendships. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@nova...

*Get the If I Speak Baggu bag from shop.novaramedia.com* A shocking real-life incident prompts a conversation about feeling safe, trusting your gut and the politics of public safety. Plus: advice on finding friendship after leaving a conservative religious community. TW: sexual assault (at 43m) Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com* What would it mean to be valued simply as a woman – not as a mother, wife, caregiver, girlypops or MILF? Ash and Moya talk about their animal natures and fear of motherhood in a chat spurred by last week’s interview with feminist critic Sophie Gilbert. Plus: how to go deeper with you...

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com* Ash and Moya talk to Sophie Gilbert about the pornification of the ’90s and ’00s – an era when riot grrl gave way to girl power, the supermodel was replaced by the waif, and feminist solidarity battled against tabloid body-shaming and Terry...

*Support the show by copping the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available from shop.novaramedia.com* Moya and Ash tackle a topic that turns up in the If I Speak mailbox every week: how can we get better at flirting IRL – and coping with rejection? Plus, how to process a failed friendship. Warning: Contains musical theatre. Send us your dilemmas: ifisp...

*Flag your Special One status with the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com* Ash has noticed that neither she nor Moya is white and urgently needs to talk about it. Has her sense of her racial identity changed over time? And where does it come from – their shade, their community, or the way they’re treated? Plus: whic...

*Flag your Special One status with the If I Speak Baggu bag – it’s ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com* Having rekindled her appetite for fun, Ash now has a five-point plan to improve dancefloors. Plus, advice for a special one whose boyfriend isn’t weird or jealous – and that’s the problem. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music...

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com* Ash and Moya descend into the guilt vortex for a conversation about family, responsibility, and parents who need to be parented. Plus: advice for a special one with a workplace crush. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com. Support the show and find fellow Special Ones.* On this episode, Moya presents an intrusive thought from a Special One about why some women struggle to express their anger. Should our ‘outlaw emotions’ be brought to the surface? Plus: help for a listener wh...

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com . Support the show and send a signal to fellow Special Ones.* In this episode, Moya and Ash talk about what to do with their impossible desires. Plus: Britain’s drinking problems, and and advice for a gay man whose female bestie has ditched him. Got a problem? ifispeak@nova...

Is marriage like an island, or more of an open house? Ash talks about state-sanctioned relationships with memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, whose new book Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, is out now. Plus, advice for a listener whose money worries aren’t shared by her partner. Are you in big trouble? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash deal with your dilemmas, including a daughter who wants to give away her inheritance, a scared mum facing up to her prejudice, a singleton wondering if moving home was a mistake, and a renter whose housemate is a total pig. Are you in big trouble? Email us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash wonder what’s up with kids these days, thinking about parenting, advertising, social media and anxiety. Plus, advice for a bereaved listener who’s furious with her stepmum. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya has an intrusive thought about our need for certainty and Ash responds with an idea about how the internet has polarised our thinking. Plus, advice for a singleton with avoidant tendencies. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya face up to all the ways their smartphone has warped their minds. Plus, advice for a trans woman struggling to interact with the world in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling. Come and see If I Speak in London on 21st May! Final tickets are available now from Dice . Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

What do straight women find attractive? Too many men think the answer is ‘big muscles’ says Ash, who has a big theory about sensuality. Plus: what to do when your boss is a bigot. Come and see If I Speak LIVE in London on 21st May! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – comedian and author of Really, Good Actually – at EartH in East London, followed by a social. Tickets are available fro...