I Think I Like You

"Just be yourself!" has got to be one of the most grating phrases known to mankind.  At least it is to me. And not just grating, but wildly unproductive. Recently a listener DM'ed me with the following: I clam up when I don’t want a guy to think I’m interested. The muting then left her feeling hollow and uninspired. What gives? Why do we do this? In this episode we explore: The roots of these edit...

I have a story, and it goes like this: I have to do everything on my own. In this episode I'm joined by my fiancé James to discuss my long held tendency to play the martyr in my relationship. The traditional definition of a martyr is someone who victimizes themselves for the benefit of others. But in the context of romantic relationships it can look like: Overextending yourself (i.e. by what you d...

The first time I met Abby Hueber, founder of Above Health Nutrition , was over artfully roasted cauliflower and punchy green juices at True Food Kitchen in Scottsdale, Arizona. In hindsight I can't fathom us meeting any other way. Here is a sneak peek at what we get into in this episode:  "When we have gut symptoms, SIBO, IBS etc., we often have a breakdown in our gut lining, which is a breakdown...

A client of mine recently faced the following dilemma: Things were going swimmingly with the guy she's seeing, but then he, very kindly so, dropped the following: I'm on the fence about kids. He might want them. He might not.  When we ourselves want then or think we want them but aren't ready for them, which way do we turn? In this episode we touch on: What to do in those early days of getting to...

Exactly three years ago, Lauren McBrayer and I crossed paths at a writer's retreat in rural Connecticut lead by Dani Shapiro. It was an intimate 48 hours, and in the midst of it all, a seed was planted for two things: Me revealing to her that my first romantic relationship had been with woman, her revealing to me she was in love with a woman but married (to a man) with three kids. In the weeks and...

Back in August a listener reached out with a question so rich, so spot, so chock full of pretty much every single conundrum and obstacle I address with every single client, that my immediate response was, "This has to be an episode."  This episode hits on: The fear of dating when your single life feels really, really stable The assumption that online apps are terrible and you're better off not suc...

A true seer, the biggest of hearts, the wisest of words, and a tad witchy— Sofia Adler is all of these things and more. Forget what you know (or think you know) about astrology and love and listen in and up. Even though I've known Sofia for over four years, I learned things in our conversation that blew my mind. Blew my mind and then gave me such a new level of depth around my own relationship. If...

The grey period primarily signifies the period in dating when you're seeing someone, things are going quite well, but you don't yet know where the relationship stands. Is it even a relationship at all? This episode was inspired by an article Clara wrote back in 2019, of the same title, but with a new twist: https://thestripe.com/how-to-survive-the-grey-area-of-dating/ This episode will resonate wi...

In this episode of the podcast, Clara is running through her decision around shifting the structure and timing of her one to one coaching practice. This episode is great for anyone either looking to explore one to one coaching OR looking for insight into the exercise Clara did to bring her work more into alignment so she could better serve her clients while creating new opportunities. This would b...

In this week's episode of the pod, Clara is joined by her fiancée, James. The two share: James's background and schooling for the 20 years before he met Clara— from working at Applebee's one summer to save up money to move out West to selling digital billboards in Times Square and running trail rides in the Catskills How they met via Hinge and how there was a 6 week gap between their first digital...

Ever been stuck in that cycle where you go on a bunch of dates (you’ll literally say yes to anyone), feel like they all go horribly, swear off dating for some number of time, find yourself yearning to find someone again and then say, “Well, it is a numbers game so I better just start dating again?”  Here’s why it’s not a numbers game, though; the people we bring into our world - whether we simply...

It's fairly safe to say that we've all had a gut feeling about someone or some situation before. But what makes a gut feeling different than a feeling based on old patterns?  And how can you break the cycle if an old pattern (a subconscious thought) is informing that feeling? In this episode, Clara explores how to differentiate between the two, and sheds light on how to start detangling the subcon...

Blocks, rewiring our subconscious, healing childhood wounds....are we all just too obsessed with fixing all this stuff? And is the fixation on fixing, just leading us to perpetuate the belief that we're broken?  That's where I'm digging in this week. I discuss the larger conundrum around personal development work and the self help industry (while also actively participating in it) and how to answe...

Coming to ya'll with a breakdown today of the work I'm doing on myself— how it reflects my greater, life long, journey with control, and how I give myself grace to grapple with that in an ongoing fashion. I'm explaining, too, how this shows up in all areas of my life, from relationship to work and everywhere in between. I'm also going into the conundrum that is wedding planning for someone that do...

This episode expands upon episode 14. I cover the following listener questions: How do you know when it is time to break up? What do you do when your relationship is in a standstill / the guy is afraid to commit? What is healthy communication after if any? How does one regulate themselves without needing the other person? Tips to stay present vs mucking around in the past or future casting. Is it...

Brrrreeeeeaaaakups. And not even just official breakups, where you actually were in a relationship with the person your heart desires, but any sort of situation where the person you hoped to be with is no longer a healthy component to your life. That's where we're digging in today. I'm specifically getting into the slew of feelings that come post breakup, and not just the disappointment or lonelin...

In the webinar I ran last week, a very thoughtful and wise participant posed the following question (I'm paraphrasing): Given the state of the world right now, and how it's weighing on us, do we really have the space for putting ourselves out there? A.men. While her question was directed at dating, in this episode I speak more globally about the limited bandwidth we're all feeling (myself very muc...

What do we do in periods where we know we shouldn't be dating (and boy do those exist), but we still yearn for a relationship? This question was prompted by a listener note, sent in a few weeks back. It was specifically phrased as, "What do I do in the waiting and HOW do I not feel like I'm waiting?" Such a good, real and profound question. And one I know all of us face or have faced, be it in rel...

We can want a relationship and also be resistant to intimacy, in ways that are really hard to see within ourselves. That's the crux of this week's episode. In it, I dive deeper into a period in my life (circa 2017) where I was "dating," someone. Really, we were just sleeping together. And while if you had asked me "Do you want a relationship?" I would have eagerly exclaimed, "Yes!" my internal wor...

We talk endlessly about our parents. Their marriage, their divorce, their relationship with us, their relationship with each other, but our siblings tend to get a little less air time. This has only become more and more apparent to me. Pretty much every single client I've support over the last few years has had a challenging sibling. From a younger sister with substance abuse issues to a life thre...

This week I dive deep, like real deep, into the process of meeting people in person— romantically speaking. As I relay early on in the episode, this is 99.99999% (if not 100%...) a mindset thing.  I've written extensively about my experience and journey over the last decade, working to debunk the belief that one could only meet someone online or after several drinks at a bar. But this is the first...

Those middle/high school school wounds run deep, and very much still show up today. I remember a client once saying to me: Omg, I realized I STILL see myself as the 12 year old chubby girl with braces— and that’s what’s showing up in dating. But it’s not just about dating, or the boyfriends/girlfriends we did or didn’t have as an adolescent. Those female to female dynamics play just as big of a ro...

I didn’t have sex until I was 21 years old, but does that make me a late bloomer? And does it really even matter? Recently, a listener emailed in, saying she, too, was a late bloomer, and that struggle was still manifesting in her life (well into her 30s). Today’s episode is all about that — shaking loose the identity of being a late bloomer, but even more so, understanding how these identities th...

Lori Gottlieb's  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone was a smash hit for damn good reasons. We relish knowing how the "expert," the person that seemingly "has it all together," actually lives. Is it that easy? Is it just different? Do they just float through life? Even though we know-ish that they don't, it certainly feels like they do. It's always both a relief and delight to know the nuances of the...

This episode marks a story— a relationship story— I've been wanting to share for quite some time in its entirety. I've had two relationships in my life that I thought would lead to marriage and didn't. This one is the latter. Really, it's the more significant one. I was 34, and when things fell apart, my last attempt at making marriage and babies by 35 fell apart, too. I was more heartbroken over...