I Think I Like You

Tis the season to REFLECT. That's the heart of today's episode. I love this time of year for getting cozy, sipping something delicious, and reflecting on the year. In today's episode I'm walking you through the exact exercise I use with clients to mine their current and past relationships, crushes, flings, etc, for patterns. Once we know our patterns, we can work to shift them to achieve, essentia...

The fear of running out of time or feeling behind (of peers, friends, societal perceptions) is valid, to be sure. But our focus on that feeling blinds us from what's actually there, i.e. what we actually need to address, feel, process, confront, work on, in order to change the direction and future of our romantic lives.  Work with me Privately Connect on Instagram Website Podcast Production by Jam...

Are you the planner, the doer, the one who takes on everything? Maybe it's really hard for you to delegate, or you fear if you aren't the one doing it everything will fall apart or go to shit?  The tricky thing about that behavior — while it makes us feel like we're in control — is that it dramatically limits the love and care we can receive from others, and the general pleasure we experience in o...

Often women will come to me and say: Men are intimidated by my career/how much money I make I don't know how to meet someone who doesn't feel this way Spoiler alert, it's not about "just meeting someone" who doesn't feel this way. Feeling this way has way more to do (per usual) with our past versus our present. I'm sharing my own experience, along with that of my clients who earn more money from t...

In the past few weeks clients of mine have: Let go of people they  really liked but ultimately weren't the right fit Slowed down their dating practice to get more out of it (i.e. more ease, more fulfillment) Practiced taking space in the early days of a new relationship to better discern how they were feeling And in so doing, they're confronting pain, fear, grief, uncertainty....the meat of life :...

In this episode I'm discussing how our propensity to work hard and get things done, and specifically the way we: Place high value on something that's hard to achieve versus finding ease in our life Avoid rejection and failure at all costs Label ourselves as the planner and like to be in charge ...are all wreaking havoc (i.e. not leading to the lived experience we want) in our relationships — roman...

A client will often say to me, "I've finally figured out what I want and need in a relationship," with the sentiment that the figuring out of that has been the piece that's missing and will now help them in finding a partner. And it's not that it won't. It is a piece of it. But the awareness of something, versus the ability to act on and integrate said thing, are completely different. And we're ve...

In late August, whilst driving my 10 month old around, furiously throwing "organic" teething crackers in the back seat in hopes he would both stop crying and go to sleep (neither really happened), I mainlined a series of podcast episodes with an ex. He'd just come out with a new book and, thankfully (?), had a bevy of press for me indulge every stalking bone in my body. It was only after the fact...

In about 6 weeks, I turn 40. I often meet clients on the precipice of 40. There, or a little ways after, and there are always (naturally), lots of feelings that come up around hitting that threshold. Will I ever meet someone? Now it REALLY feels too late All the men have run out Who wants to date someone 40+? While I'm feeling really, really excited and emboldened about entering this new decade, I...

The obsession with healing ourselves is real , and these days, more often than not, I find myself guiding clients to pull back on all the materials and content they're ingesting in order to stop perpetuating this idea that they're "broken" or that there's always "more" to do. From the endless cycle of self-help books and courses that promise to "fix" us, to using gratitude as emotional white-out,...

This is one of those episodes that came in like a force — it started with a simple question from a follower, then ballooned into like 45 more, with other followers sending random messages, recurring themes in my client work, and admittedly, even the more recent lamenting on my own single life now in a marriage with a baby. This episode will resonate if: You find motivating yourself to date really,...

What if everything you think dating should look like is actually keeping you single? Or constantly thinking you're doing something wrong or that it's not enough? It seems most of us are in the quintessential "messy middle," in every sense of the word. So as my comeback episode it felt even more appropriate to dig into why these spaces are so potent. It's exactly where the real work happens. And wh...

Today's decision is something I've been noodling on for the past month. I've decided to take a break from running this podcast. But I didn't want to do so without taking you behind the scenes of my decision, because while in this instance the decision to take a break centers around a creative project — my method and means of reflection could be applied to so much else. It's got me thinking about a...

Eight years ago, I landed myself in the office of a nurse practitioner/functional medicine specialist who specialized in gut health. I had been inexplicably bloated and exhausted for months and didn't know why. Little did I know that woman would go on to not only remedy my body, but change the overall trajectory of my life and career. Flash forward to today, while she's still an expert when it com...

March was a rough month for me. I found myself fighting the tail end of sleep training with Jude, my son. I was in a constant state of frustration around all I "wasn't" getting done. My husband and I were bickering like mad.  I felt like everyday I was on a treadmill headed nowhere— and not advancing anywhere— but I was still sprinting. Constantly. I couldn't shut down. I was lucky to have my dear...

In a recent Instagram post, I spoke about how many of my clients hold a fear that a relationship will swallow them whole. This isn't a misconception, as many of them  have completely lost themselves in prior relationships. Also identifying as people pleasers, they've historically had a hard time operating authentically in their relationships, be they romantic, platonic, professional or (most of al...

There was a moment about five years ago, around age 34, where I thought to myself:  Maybe I just don't want a relationship . Clients will say a similar thing to me, often using language like:  I'm not even sure I want to be in a relationship. In today's episode I'm exploring what rests beneath those words (what they meant for me, what they mean for others) and what it means to intellectualize our...

Private coaching spaces are open. Here's something I hear from clients all the time: I'm never going to meet someone. There's no one left. All the good men are gone. Therapist and coach Julia Zwerin is back to dig into this subject with me. In this episode we discuss: What's behind the fear that you'll never meet someone How your scarcity mindset has more to do with your past than it does the real...

Private coaching spaces are open. When we want to acquire something new, be it a new job, a new relationship, a new home, a new life experience, we tend to think of it as additive. We add items to our to do list, write down goals, consider how we want to do things differently. But I find considering what we need to let go of —  be that a person, a way of being, a pattern, a way we VIEW ourselves,...

The other week a friend sent me a clip from Instagram , and despite not being the biggest Logan Ury fan, I really got down with what she was saying here. "Great relationships are built, they're not discovered." This concept is top of mind as my husband and I work through a new phase in our marriage with the addition of a child. But it's also top of mind as I connect with clients at the forefront o...

Here's where I meet most of my clients: They've been in therapy for years, they have a tremendous amount of awareness around their stuff — their mom issues, their dad issues, their attachment style, their insecurities, how they attract the wrong men, etc etc. They know it all like the back of their hand! But their dating and relationship life remains the same. What gives? Why can we have all the s...

Work with me privately Take one of my online courses January tends to be a month rife with a lot of "I'm going to do this and that and goals goals goals!" And if that feels good to you, then great. But I find most of us stack ourselves with a litany of to dos, only to feel massively let down a few weeks later. Dating tends to be one of those areas. Early in my single years I often began January wi...

How are you all? It's been a minute! I'm slowly coming out of my cocoon of maternity leave. I'm only working part time, if that in January. In today's episode I'm sharing what the last few weeks have been like and how I'm embracing a slow start to the year, which seems to be a theme I'm seeing for other — motherhood or not — too. Work with me Privately Connect on Instagram Website Podcast Producti...

We've all had the guy (or....guys ; )) who don't communicate well, who leave us in the dark, who aren't looking for commitment or exclusivity. Maybe they're clear about it, maybe they're not. Either way, they're like a drug we can't quit — quite literally (more on that in the episode). A text flies in, we're in their presence, all sense of clarity and judgement is lost. I very vividly recall these...

How in touch are you with your curiosity? How much do you listen to it and let it guide you? In life, but especially in your work? Like many of you listening, I spent years in work and careers that I did out of obligation. A tried and true under fulfilled overachiever (who this book was made for), I moved towards anything and everything that looked good on paper. Many of us stay there — both out o...