I Can't Fux With You! Confessions of An Uppity Black Woman

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is ignoring the criticality the role the home plays in the life of the Uppity Black Woman. The Uppity Black Woman needs a place of respite that is beautiful to her individually, given that her healing happens in her home. Home itself is not the building, but rather the feeling.  Sis, is your home one of healing, one of respite, one of beauty? The Goddess guides to...

What we not fuxing with today is denying that the Uppity Black Woman's rage is not warranted. While our rage is warranted, there are times it must be checked. We keep it summa-offi-cial, however, a recent interaction with another Sister  brought to the surface the many hurts that we carry and how those hurts impact the relationships that we have with others. Using the aptly titled  Chapter ca...

What we not fuxing with today is not reflecting on the journey. Today is episode 26! We started this podcast the second week of January - meaning we are halfway through the year! Query (and be honest now) what intentions did we set at the beginning of the year, and what attention have we placed on working those intentions?? Were you at Sis?  We need to actively choose differently to obtain differe...

We changing it today folks - and I'm letting you know what it is we are fuxing with - and that is Summa (summer for the uninitiated). It's officially summer, and it's time to get light with it. Summer is a time of warmth, joy, and being carefree. Witnessing my daughter's drop-off at sleep-away camp this week (#mamaindastreets) reaffirmed for me the need for us to always be look...

We not fuxing with a few things today.  In the first half of today's episode we discuss the pains of Father's Day, and how my daughter and I have shifted our procedures to ensure we feel full instead as if we are missing something. That has been a work, but we doing it. All the signs point to wholeness and we step confidently into knowing with assuredness that we have provision and prote...

What we are not fuxing with today is not knowing our names. Like our for real names. Not the name your mama gave you Sis, but your NAME. We return again to the mellifluous words of Cole Arthur Riley in This Here Flesh , specifically the chapter entitled Calling, where she queries, using the words of Reverend Howard Thurman, "Who Are You?" Sis, I have been called to do a Thing. This Thing...

What we are not fuxing with today is being passionate about our suffering. We bring it back to the basics and review Chapter 8: Moved By Passion: Eros and Responsibility, in Sisters of the Yam, where the Queen writes "the energy that we bring to situations that arouse hostility or pain can easily be redirected. We can tell ourselves daily to direct our most intense feeling to those areas of o...

The sh*t we are not fuxing with today is denying ourselves the confessions of people who have hurt us. We will use the framework of reconciliation/confession as used by the Catholic Church to demonstrate what individuals must do when they have wronged others. I use a recent chance encounter with members of my ex-husbands family -  of which my daughter and I have been estranged because of the bombs...

The shit we not fuxing with today is settling. We use the framework of a recent Sister Girl(s)  interaction between Eboni K. Williams of Real Housewives of New York fame (don't let the Housewives moniker fool you - Ms. Williams is all about Black Peoples Liberation and will deftly tell you with her perfectly positioned eyebrow, the shit  we not about to do) and Inyanla Vanzant. We break apart...

What we are not fuxing with today is continuing to be under contract with ourselves, as opposed to being under covenant. Sis, what is your position in the hierarchy of your life? If you are last in your life's order, then you are under contract. It is impossible to create shift in your life (real easy to create sh*t though) when you do not commit to your intentions.  Attention on Intentions i...

What we are not fuxing with today is denying our nature - our personal integrity codes. To get reconnected to herself, the Uppity Black Woman must find time to routinely connect and align with the cycles of nature. Just as the trees have their cycle, and will always be a tree (The trees be tree'ing ya'll) a tree will never grow wings. In an effort to become someone she is not, coupled wi...

What we are not fuxing with today is denying the personal work it takes to truly love people from afar.  Sis, truly loving ourselves means we have to accept people as they are. Accepting people as they are may mean there are people that are no longer a part of your daily interactions, but you love them anyway. You have compassion for them because you see them from a space of love, but you love you...

What we are not fuxing with today is ignoring what is possible when the Uppity Black Woman and the Uppity Black Man, both say "Yes" to "I AM," meaning both operate in alignment with their own personal integrity codes. We'll revisit a recent conversation with a fellow Uppity Black Man and note the similarities between his journey and that of the Uppity Black Woman. I reflec...

What we are not fuxing with today is forgetting that every Uppity Black Woman has a backstory.  That backstory colors the Uppity Black Woman's interactions with the rest of the world.  We'll revisit the course of a relationship between myself and a fellow Uppity Black Woman, where my understanding of her was based in not knowing her backstory. It made me question many of the judgements I...

What we are not fuxing with today is the willingness of the Uppity Black Woman to co-sign on accelerating her death. I will share a recent experience with a fellow Uppity Black Woman currently getting treatment for significant health issues, but yet had incredible difficulty Being Still to focus on her health. We visit with the Queen, bell hooks, and spend time on Knowing Peace: An End to Stress  ...

In today's episode, what we are not fuxing with is denying the impact the trials our Mothers endured have on how we mother our own children. We examine the displays of love our Mothers showcased to us, and what that means as we love our babies.  We also acknowledge that our Mothers endured and mothered in the way that they knew and it was that endurance and mothering that allows many of us to...

What we are not fuxing with today is the willingness of the Uppity Black Woman to die either spiritually or in actuality to wear the label of "married woman." I share my personal story of certain spiritual death and near certain actual death in my effort to preserve a marriage, hold on to ceremony, and hold on to title.  We will analyze the societal pressures that push the Uppity Black W...

In today's episode, what we are not fuxing with is not acknowledeing the chasm that exists between some Black Women. We will explore the boxes the Uppity Black Woman checks to ensure her label of "Uppity Black Woman" and the implications for her relationships with other Black Women who have not checked that box. We get anchored with Audre Lorde's piece, Eye to Eye: Black Women,...

In Part 1 of today's episode, we first stop, reflect, and say good job...to me! As an Uppity Black Woman, a woman who is NOT a regular B*tch, I often forget that not everyone operates the way that I do, and it's important to stop and celebrate milestones. Episode 10 is a milestone. This year has been transformational for me, and it's not lost on me that this episode is right around...

The sh*t we are not fuxing with today is the duality that the Uppity Black Woman is forced to navigate - integrating her Uppity Black Woman-ness with her desire to be self-indulgent (in a good way). We will redefine the word "decadent" - a word that I believe gives the Uppity Black Women life! This integration is a battle, as a Uppity Black Women who showcases decadence to herself - just...

What we are not fuxing with today is vilifying pleasure. In today's episode we will discuss cultural practices such as FGM and how  such practices bleed into society as a whole. We assess what this means for how women experience pleasure in their everyday lives. We will also revisit the core tenets of Ayurveda - food, rest, and pleasure, and how that shows up when we talk about the D (if your...

Today we have a conversation with Danielle, a Woman Who Happens to Be White, whom I love and hold dearly (yes, they do exist!). Danielle is an Ayurvedic Health Counselor and will provide us with insight into what the fux is Ayurveda, and why it is critical to the life blood of the Uppity Black Woman. Danielle and I discuss why Ayurveda in its marketed form,  should not automatically be associated...

What we are not fuxing with today is not being intentional about the Sister Circle. Sis, the right circle has the capacity to nourish you, to keep you alive both Spiritually and and in Actuality.  We'll revisit my own Spiritual death and the Actual death of another Sister. We'll conduct our own self-assessments about where we are, where we want to go, and how we plan on getting there. Si...

I recently saw a Sister refer to Black History Month as Black Futures Month. The replacement of history with future is a wonderful reminder that we have the ability to frame beautiful Black Futures. That is the theme of this week's episode.  In Segment 1, what we are not fuxing with is not being knowledgeable about our stories. I use my experiences in the West African country of Mali as a his...

What we are not fuxing with in today's episode is the vitriol directed to the Uppity Black Woman from the Black Man. We assess what are some possible causes of this vitriol and whether it is possible to move forward from what seemingly is a glee by the Black Man in witnessing the destruction of the Uppity Black Woman. We will also go deeper into the Bell Hooks definition of what Uppity means....