I Can't Fux With You! Confessions of An Uppity Black Woman

Oh, when a Mucinex Booger provides you with a commentary to a question that was never asked, it can only mean one thing, misogynoir is at work. This week's offender is Mr. Aries Spears - who recently found himself in the crosshairs of #ubw's minding their own businessessssss on the innanets. The walking bruise informed us that it was not in our interests to wear what he calls "ptero...

We not fuxing with dis-respeck this week or anymore my fellow #ubw. It's a word that remains front and center when there is a discussion regarding the relationships between Black Women and Black Men - often when there is a rebuke of the toleration of disrespect, mistreatment, or abuse, be it of the seemingly  innocuous kind ("I don't date Black Women") to the incredibly violent...

We are revisiting an earlier episode, and it is apropos. The dusty a** sons are partcluarly mite covered these days. From the ninja whom I deny knowing to America's "leaders" (I see you Byron Donalds) - the paupers in too large King's clothing continue to beat their chests while leaving a trail of unacknowledged disaster in the background. Mamas I come back to you, please, for...

I'll tell you what we we are not fuxing with, and that is Juneteenth or Father's Day. For the record,  the people asked to not be executed at random, and they were provided with a day off from work. Any holiday in which a local school district can switch to a more "convenient" day is not a real holiday. Yes, I said it. We not fuxing with Father's Day either in this 2024. M...

We have a whole lot to catch up on, so we fuxing with a great deal today. We are close to the halfway mark for the year.  What dedicated routines have you committed to in order to get some of the promises you made to YOU happen?  What do you do when you fall off your routine (there should be a resounding - "get yo' ass back up" from the audience)? We also catching up on that Ninja a...

We fuxing with Black Mothers and Black Daughters today (or maybe not). The fractures between them are conversation topics covered in the annals of sociology, psychology, the chucch, and our homes. It is complex. The relationship with mine has been brought into full relief as I assess its shaky foundation.  Mired by the cultural mores that say to have a vagina makes one less than - whose fault is i...

We not fuxing with Diddy. Just no, we will not make it about him. But rather, what is it that the #ubw needs to sever the ties in these abusive relationships? When I consider the through line of when it is that people are more open to having conversations related to domestic violence against women, specifically Black Women, it is when the victim of the abuse, be it physical, emotional, verbal, or...

I guess we were not fuxing with Mother's Day this year? With a recognition that this holiday can be painful for many, this particular Mother's Day was a reflective one for me. In this season in which I challenge all the things in which I have been trained to believe, the issue that continues to rear its head is the value (or lack thereof) that is placed on my motherhood based on my attac...

We fuxing with rest, in all its forms, because #ubw is exhausted. We are literally waiting to exhale. And if you are a #ubw of a certain age, you are most likely living the movie: Waiting to Exhale . The deep breaths continue. When we do back to back episodes related to the mistreatment, the humbling, the disdain, the disrespect, the persecution - the list continues (MISOGYNOIR).... we get tired....

My therapist tells me that I take a great deal of deep breaths during our sessions. I know why - its exhausting  navigating the world as a card carrying member of the #ubw club. The people are out in full force, letting us know that misogynoir is here to stay, so my Sisters, be ready. From Amanda Seales, to whom so much disdain is pointed, to Marilyn Mosby, looking at potentially 40 years for some...

We fuxing with lust today, well tangentially fuxing with lust. What we really fuxing with is #ubw liberation and empowerment, and actually saying fux that definition of lust as "disordered." In my God girl and Goddess girl ways, I often find myself in conflict with some tenets of the Catholic Church. A recent homily that focused on the "Seven Deadly Sins," spent an inordinate a...

We fuxing with rage and pleasure today. This rage card keeps showing up and this rage indeed is warranted. The way the world comes at the #ubw, it is a wonder we have not all ended up in the clink. Instead we have trained ourselves to suppress these feelings and move forward with plastic smiles. We need no physician to tell us that suppression of feeling will not end well. The reinforcement of the...

Me and the legions of #ubw who have been silent for so long, most definitely are not fuxing with misogynoir. At least we must be intentional in our attempts to not be complicit actors. It would be unfair to jump to Diddy and the minefield of misogyny that is hip-hop, without examining my own participation given my love of hip-hop - the more vulgur, misogynostic, the better! I know - it is contradi...

We outside. We outside. We on Spring Break ya'll, but this #ubw still has something to say. Confusion is one of the things that I don't like to fux with. I enjoy clarity about what is happening around me, so that I can properly assess situations. Unfortunately, the luxury of clarity regarding understanding - why is it, that when we think about Black Women - the emotional and physical har...

We fuxing with Karma, Kevin, and the Krown (KKK - just let me have this one, please and thank you). We continue the karma conversation today as we consider the incredibly draining force of  applying energy to those who have done us harm. God/Source/Universe takes care of all - the debt is owed and it will be paid. Kevin and his bank account are literally and figuratively repaying those debts. What...

We are fuxing with joy again today, as Ms. ReesaTeesa and Ms. Wendy Williams back to back have the minds of #ubw reminded of how fragile the mental state and environment of many of us are. Many Uppity Black Women find themselves in similar situations, in part due to the actions of a n*gga. Because really, anyone of us can be making 50 part series or starring in documentaries showcasing the state o...

We are definitely not fuxing with the state of affairs of what is THE Wendy Williams. Having recently viewed the Lifetime documentary "Where is Wendy Williams" (using "documentary" loosely, given the definition of the word documentary is film regarding an event or a person, based on facts - there were a great deal of facts missing from this ) It was incredibly unsettling to see...

We stay with the story of ReesaTeesa this week, simply because there are many #ubw who are in a ReesaTessa tale right now, however, their stories are not magnified on the interwebs for all the world to provide commentary. ReesaTeesa is a #ubw avatar for how we are trained (or rather not trained) to relationship with men. Our training (or lack thereof) rests on concepts of being a virtuous, pure, C...

As Black Futures Month 2024 comes to a close, we congratulate this year's winner of Corporate Fux ups structurally impacting all of our lives - and that is, this here America. The reason this podcast exists is because of this year's winner! Congratulations to all of our 2024 contestants, including Sally's Beauty Supply , Target Stores , and Lincoln University . After our awards cere...

Sticking with this concept of luxury, we are fuxing with the people who help us flourish. These are people selected with intention. Let's refresh our collective memories regarding the dictionary definition of luxury - inessential but conducive to comfort and pleasure; sumptuous living and surroundings . I consider relationships to fall into this category. They are technically not essential. I...

There is always time to fux with luxury. It is a privilege to be in sumptuous surroundings. I had a recent experience of being enveloped in sumptuous delights, surrounded by things inessential but conducive to incredible comfort and pleasure. Sumptuous surroundings, the concept of luxury, that to me is the distinction of why I use the term Black Futures Month instead of Black History Month. Black...

We fuxing with feelings today and how they can direct us to where we want to go. You know I always have stories that prepare me for this podcast, and this concept of feeling all the feels were front and center recently. I am certain that I have had these feelings in the past, it is only now that I have noticed them, like really noticed them and taken stock of what they mean. Take note UBW's t...

We are still (and should always be)  fuxing with JOY this week (JOY!) and continuing the countdown of 12 ways the Uppity Black Woman #ubw can incorporate JOY in her life in 2024. Last week we went through numbers 1-6, of which included, have more sex (parenthesis: with yourself) which ranked at number 2 (wtf). I can say in the affirmative that over the course of the week,  I've incorporated f...

We ARE fuxing with Joy today ya'll. Whew! Dr. Claudine Gay's resignation and Dr. Candia-Bailey's death by suicide had us dark. It was a 1-2 gut punch at the start of 2024. And sometimes I feel that that is where the world wants the Black Woman to stay - to forget that there is unlimited joy that is accessible to us. So that is what we doing today! At the start of the year, Essence w...

We are fuxing with community today, as this is what I know will save us - it has to save us. It is so early in the year and we are at a crossroads. The alarm bells ring but I feel as if it is a dull noise in the background for those who don't wear the Uppity Black Woman label.  In quick succession after Dr. Claudine Gay's dizzying constructive discharge from Harvard, we received the trag...