I Can't Fux With You! Confessions of An Uppity Black Woman

Another day, another attempt to humble an Uppity Black Woman. Before we assess the constructive discharge of Dr. Claudine Gay (and yes, Sis was constructively discharged, even though she resigned from her role as President of Harvard), join me in celebrating the  1 year anniversary of "I Can't Fux With You - Confessions of an Uppity Black Woman." How quickly the days fly by! Thank y...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is the word "king," and to be clear, we not fuxing with the traditional use of the word "king" as it relates to how Uppity Black Women and Black Men relationship. We have not talked about the celebrities in a bit, but this conversation was spurred by a recent Instagram commentary on Stedman Graham of THE Oprah and Stedman pairing. The words app...

We are actually fuxing with compassion today. How do we make space for compassion when we think we already are compassionate? In this season, I am reminded of the necessity for forgiveness, compassion, and reconciliation, mostly for the people who don't think they deserve it from me. This is certainly a new concept  I've never considered - the self-punishment that others may inflict upon...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is exhaustion, You don't need to fall out to know that rest is needed. The end of the year brings non-stop activity, a swirl of to-dos, in addition to all of the other must do's of which include just living life. The word that has been coming to me lately is exhaustion. No, I'm not training for a marathon, but I did not account for the energy that i...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is being asleep with the planning for our lives. It's the time of year when we revert to our usual patterns and say, "1/1, it will all be different." But if you've learned nothing at all from me over the course of this year, it's high time Uppity Black Women start to do sh*t differently. So we are throwing away New Year Resolutions, and in...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is living without integrity.  For me this December means family birthday celebrations - my kid becoming a teenager (yikes) and my mother celebrating her 70th! My mother rang in her septuagenarian years with a bash in the the way only Naija people can. People came from far and wide to show my mother love and support in this season. This very in your face affair mea...

Sis, what's the origin of that thing that you do that keeps you from recognizing that you are glorious? How  do we find ourselves in spaces that don't dignify our glory? I take it to our origins, the stories told to us by others that we subsequently believe about ourselves. In the text  This Here Flesh , Cole Arthur Riley so eloquently states: Our walk to liberation requires us to parse...

Err'body sick! And I did not anticipate that celebrity would provide all this insight into the maltreatment of the Uppity Black Woman, but they do, so a B*tch has something to say about it. Before we get into the deplorable monstrosity of what is one Mr. Sean Combs, I need to reaffirm the women who reaffirm me. Every once in a while I doubt my purpose. I question whether I am on on the right...

This one is personal, and it was another Uppity Black Woman celebrity who provided the sh*t we not fuxing with. Today, we focus on Ms. Keke Palmer, our melanin sister who has been doing the thing. Her credits include both Hollywood and Broadway. She was actually my daughter’s first Broadway show when she played Cinderella. Needless to say I love me some Keke. So it pierced my heart when I learned...

What we not fuxing with today is blocking blessings and we are going to let Ms. Jada tell us how its done. Jada has not paid me a dime, but if you have not yet picked up the book Worthy , go and get it…right.the fux. Now! Jada is the avatar for Uppity Black Women #ubw. And we all owe her an apology, especially Hoda Kotb. I love me some Hoda, but the interview related to marketing the book made us...

What we not fuxing with today is closing off our sources of support.  Before we can close them off, we have to know they are available to us. The transition in season, as we move through  the latter part of autumn, brings days that get darker earlier and perhaps some angst about the upcoming holidays. These are time periods for some that may be sources of sadness and stress, yet in that time of ne...

We fuxing with Hollywood again this week. I don't usually keep up with the celebritiesm, however, Black Hollywood has provided excellent fodder for some of the issues that Uppity Black Women are forced to navigate. Today we use the probable (and I say probable because Halle has neither confirmed or denied that she is indeed pregnant. So until I see a hand fall out of a vagina, the word is pro...

What we not fuxing with today is facades, and yes we are going to use Jada and Will as the poster children for the pressures faced by Uppity Black Women and Uppity Black Men to maintain the charade of marriage, even to their detriment. While we have all been well informed about the sometimes wacky world of Jada and Will, this latest revelation caught many by surprise. In a recent interview, Jada d...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is dem n***as from our past. This Uppity Black Woman who is both a God girl and a goddess girl received very clear messages over the course of the week regarding dem n***as from my past and the implications for my future. While it is often easy for us to look outward when assessing the status of our relationships, particularly when they have not turned out in the...

What we not fuxing with today is a recognition of the distinct issues related to the Immigrant Uppity Black Woman's capacity to actively uncheck the boxes she has been trained to check based solely on her experience as an immigrant. We look at the Uppity Black Woman's story through the lens of the characters of a new Broadway Play, Jaja's African Hair Braiding, written by Ghanian pl...

Uppity Black Women, ya'll not heeding the call.  What we not fuxing with today is early death. We should all be deeply troubled given the recent unfortunate news related to the deaths of fellow Uppity Black Women, both Presidents of Institutions of Higher Learning.  71 years old, President Joanne Epps, Interim President of Temple University died while on-stage at a University event - an event...

The sh*t we not fuxing with today is dusty a** sons! Mothers, please retrieve them, so they are not sent out into the world to terrorize Uppity Black Women. Today we examine a recent viral internet story that would be a full on comedic special if it was not colored with a possibly premeditated burglary, gaslighting, misogynoir, and a dusty a** son. Today we go deep into the story of fellow Uppity...

What we not fuxing with today is getting thrown off of our foundations, because of other people's emotional garbage. Monica had it so right  - you can't take it personal.  We examine this idea of not taking other's actions towards us personally, through the lens of Don Miguel Ruiz's text, The Four Agreements. The Second Agreement, "Don't Take Anything Personally"...

The shit we not fuxing with today is ignoring the Mainframe -  the source, the root of why we do the things that we do. As I re-adjust to being Black in a very White world, some old patterns of behavior have begun to show up (again!) as a means of coping with anxiety. Many of these behaviors slide into addictive patterns that are easy to hide, particularly for the Uppity Black Woman who looks like...

We are fuxing with the Sisterhood today. Back in these here parts, and re-adjusting to life where my Blackness is always on display. The journey was indeed an epic one and brought into relief the universality of the experiences of the Black Woman, regardless of where she calls home and whether she bears the title "Uppity Black Woman" (as defined by me)(#ubw). We revisit a bond formed wit...

Today we examine self-love and self-hate from the culturally significant lens of the Uppity Black Woman in America and the Uppity Black Woman in Ghana. The word that persistently shows up in both worlds is toil.  I posit that the toil of the Uppity Black Woman in America - with the covering of white supremacy, is limited in her ability to engage in acts of self-love. The Uppity Black Woman in Amer...

What we not fuxing with today is how the Uppity Black Woman in America (emphasis on America ) has the ability to sanitize the concept of class and classism. We'll revisit a recent sojourn to the Sojourn Cabins, a beautiful boutique hotel fronting the Atlantic Ocean and reconcile it with a nearby dungeon along the Cape Coast where Black Peoples were held, brutalized, and tortured before being...

Sis, you know I usually start with the sh*t we not fuxing with, but today, we fuxing with a whole bunch. I certainly have been through the fire and I am sure that there are many more fires to come, because this is life. I've gotten down on my knees and cursed God, and asked: "Is this my Life?!!!!!" But I have also had moments where my heart was so filled with joy, wonder, and quite...

We live from the West Side this week, surrounded by our Peoples in Ghana and getting learnings on Motherhood. What we not fuxing with today is denying the impact that tongues of fire have on our children. I feel very privileged to be able to experience this journey with my daughter, and recognize that it is my own inner work regarding "mothering" myself that allows me to do so. That is w...

Sis, we are live from Egypt this week, and the sh*t we not fuxing with is the energies we use to prepare for situations that end up not materializing. Prior to touching soil in the area many (including me) consider to be the cradle of civilization, I mentally prepared myself for the maltreatment I expected to receive as a dark-skinned Black person, given the usual representation of Egyptians as ha...