Husband Material

Touch is one of our most basic human needs. But many of us have been deprived. How can men outgrowing porn embrace healthy physical touch with each other—and prevent harm? Find out in this panel discussion with Certified Husband Material Coaches Drew Boa, Stephen Thomas, John Kilmer, and Mike Chapman.  You'll learn: the importance of safe touch for emotional and sexual development cultural di...

This episode answers unique questions for married men who have sexually acted out with gay porn or other men. You'll learn what partners go through upon discovery of gay porn, why transparency matters, and how we can pursue connection with other men while continuing to rebuild trust with our wives. Tamara Lichfield provides support for women who have experienced betrayal trauma at Becoming Sh...

In this workshop led by Drew Boa, you'll learn how to connect with your inner child like never before.  To complete the exercises, you will need: A piece of paper (digital documents will NOT work for this) 3 different crayons or colored pencils (if not, just use a pen) A posture of curiosity and willingness to try something new You're invited to HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 11! This fr...

How do you take action after relapse for growth and healing without using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like? Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries . Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast . Free tools mentioned in this episode: Recovery Action Plan (for when a relapse has occurred)...

In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue. George...

In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and...

What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat. Register now for the upcoming Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat The early bird discount ends on August 1st. Rick Carlson is a Recovery Pastor, Life Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebac...

What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn?  In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn. Picture this: you're on stage. You're the protagonist in your own drama, undoing and redoing the story of your life. But you're not alone. Your director is attuning to you. Your...

Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom. Stephen...

"He said at 74, I am having the best sex of my life. At 74, my penis only occasionally shows up for the party. But I am still having the best sex of my life. I wish I had known in my thirties how to have this kind of sex." What is sex ultimately about? How can married couples enjoy sex more? How do you deal with differences in sexual desire? In this episode, Dr. Michael Sytsma offers a r...

Can masturbation ever be neutral or healthy? In this episode, I'll explore complex moral questions about masturbation. Together with a live audience, we'll analyze 10 situations you may have never considered before: A toddler touches his penis to feel pleasure A young boy learns to masturbate from his uncle A teenager masturbates to regulate his emotions A teenager masturbates while imag...

What is masturbation? How does it affect the brain? What does the Bible (not) say about it? What will happen to me if I don't masturbate? In this episode, I'll share insights from neuroscience, the New Testament, and my own story of masturbation.  I've been researching this topic for the past 13 years...so I have a lot to share! You'll learn why myelination matters (even in mas...

Growing up between worlds, third culture kids face unique challenges in developing their identity and sense of belonging. Can these experiences create a higher risk of struggling with pornography? John Kilmer reveals the impact of moving during crucial developmental stages, and how unprocessed grief and loss can lead to unwanted sexual behavior. Through John's story, we discover the burden AN...

How do neurodifferences like ADHD and autism relate to unwanted sexual behavior? How can embracing neurodiversity help us heal and outgrow porn? Candice Christiansen offers powerful perspectives and practical advice. This interview is delightful! For neurodivergent individuals (and same or mixed neurotype couples) who are struggling, Candice is here to help you gain clarity to make your relationsh...

Have you ever thought about confronting a parent, but you're not sure how? In this episode, you'll learn the right questions to ask yourself when considering why and how to confront your parent(s) with compassion.  Three important questions to ask:  What happened (to them and to me)?  How do I feel about what happened?  What do I want going forward?  Recommended reading (paid link):  Adu...

In this episode, my parents share the good and the bad of how they raised me, and how we are healing. It's a story of vulnerability, repentance, and redemption.  "All families have difficulties. If you bury them, you grow apart. If you get them on the table and solve them, then you can heal from that." —Sandy Boa  "Don't be afraid to go to the person and ask for forgivenes...

What happens when you grow up in a family affected by sexual addiction? In this episode, Dr. Ken Adams reveals the burdens carried by adult children of sex addicts.  This conversation is especially helpful for those of us who inherited sexual shame from our parents. You'll learn why and how to release shame that has been passed down to you...and how to stop the cycle of generational trauma. D...

What does it mean to become husband material? In this episode, you'll learn the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-leadership. Stay until the end for special appearances by 12 Husband Material Men!  New opportunities: HMA is reopening in July. Join the waitlist at joinhma.com Come to our retreat in Santa Barbara in September! Register now at husbandmaterial.com/retreat Yo...

What does it mean to outgrow porn? Dr. Robert Masters unpacks this concept (which he created) with stunning depth and clarity.  Robert Augustus Masters is a psychotherapist, group leader, and relationship expert with a doctorate in psychology. His intuitive, uniquely integral work, developed over the past four decades, blends the psychological and physical with the emotional and spiritual. Learn m...

What is emotional abuse? Dr. Jake Porter explains how to identify emotional abuse, heal from it, and stop emotionally abusing others. Dr. Jake Porter is a Board Certified Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and the Founder of Daring Ventures . He is also the creator of Couple–Centered Recovery, a model for overcoming attachment wounds in coup...

What do I do with my sexual energy—especially if I'm single? In this episode, you'll learn the two types of sexual energy, why singleness can feel like a curse, and God’s good design for sexuality in singleness. You'll also hear real life examples of Christian men directing their sexual energy into deeper connection, pleasure, and creativity. Resources mentioned in this episode: God...

In this episode, you'll learn why healing must happen in your body. Andrew Bauman reveals why talk therapy is not enough, what "the body keeps the score" actually means, how to use the body to outgrow porn and real-life examples of embodied healing. This interview is awesome! Andrew Bauman is the founder & director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trau...

In this extended episode, you'll hear 8 dramatized examples of mistakes men make while relating to women they have sexually betrayed and traumatized. You'll learn how to offer validation, own your impact, build your confidence, and be proactive. This session from The Porn Free Man Conference will show you exactly what (not) to do to help her heal. Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and th...

In this episode, you'll learn 2 ways to define pornography, 6 pornographic styles of relating, and what it means to be sexually healthy and mature. Resources mentioned by Andrew Bauman: A Pornographic Style of Relating (article) What Is A Sexually Healthy Man? (article) The Psychology of Porn (book; paid link) The Sexually Healthy Man (book; paid link) Sign up for the Husband Material Virtual...

In this episode, you'll learn what spiritual abuse is and how to heal from it. Chris Inman tells his story of being spiritual abused as a boy and how it has affected him into adulthood. Chris Inman is the creator and facilitator of Porn Free Masculinity , an online intensive recovery program for men struggling with porn and compulsive sexual behavior. He invites men to consider how the blessi...