Husband Material

What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recover...

Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time You're invited to HMA In A Day on Saturd...

What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the founder and president of Be Broken...

If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (these are paid links): Single, G...

What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are... Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback) Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh and critical vs. gentle and kind) Checking in...

How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs. Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family...

How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing! Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She...

What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningf...

Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself. You're invited to HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 11! This free online workshop will go through the entire Husband Material Academy program in a single day. Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey....

How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas! Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCS...

How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image. Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStor...

What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well. The best place to start is Husband Material Academy . Learn more at joinHMA.com You're invited to HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 11! This free online wor...

What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction! Related episodes: Theology Of The Penis Unwanted Sexual Attraction Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires? Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetis...

What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame. Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face...

What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and cl...

How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead. Pornographic recovery is: isolated escapist avoiding pain impatient passive/consuming cold and harsh. Healthy recovery is: relational embodied embracing pain resilient proactive/creative warm and kind The idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is base...

What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series— which is fantastic! The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their l...

What if your church was a safe space to outgrow porn? Sam Black explains how porn recovery ministry leads to less work for pastors, more generous donors, more passionate volunteers, and a legacy of health for the next generation.  Sam Black is the Director of Recovery Education at CovenantEyes . He has edited 16 books on the impact of pornography and authored two: The Porn Circuit and The Healing...

Have you ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe while chatting online? In this episode, I’ll share practical tips on how to escape creepy conversations… and 5 reasons why we sometimes don’t. At the end, you’ll hear real-life examples of how I have responded to unwanted sexual communication.  You're invited to HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 11! This free online workshop will go through the entire H...

Have you ever been rejected? Roy Kim explains how rejection and internalized racism drove him to pornography. He also opens up about what it's like to struggle with with porn as a pastor—and as a male betrayed partner. Roy offers real hope through the power of compassion and community. Roy Kim, M.Div, CSAT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Southern California focusing on sexual...

Do you know what it's like to struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in addition to porn? Andrew Loyd does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Andrew unpacks how OCD and unwanted sexual behavior can be related. With curiosity and compassion, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important! Andrew Loyd is the founder of Restored Story Coachi...

Who was David—the boy, the king, the sex offender? In this episode, you’ll see David’s sexual story from a new angle. You'll also get a taste of church with Husband Material Men through the dramatic reading of Scripture, confession of sin, assurance of pardon, and Christ-centered preaching by Drew Boa. This sermon was delivered on September 10, 2023 at the Husband Material Retreat. "God...

What is reintegrative therapy? Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. explains his approach to treating trauma and how it can help men outgrow porn. Joseph also shares insights about sexual attraction, sexual development, euphoric recall, and the importance of being able to choose your own values and goals. Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, researcher, and clinical director at...

How do you handle the intense urge to watch porn? This was Dan Johnson's dilemma. Dan struggled with porn for over 20 years. After re-confessing to his wife, putting filters on all his devices, joining a community of other men, and seeing a certified sex addiction therapist, he was still not experiencing the freedom he was longing for. In this episode, Dan shares the specific strategy he used...

Have you ever struggled with shame or self-contempt? In this episode, you'll learn the simple formula for healing shame through vulnerability and connection. You'll also hear a vulnerable, shame-filled part of my story I've never shared publicly. What if shame is actually not a curse, but a clue to our hearts and what we really need? Shame is a normal human emotion that shows us how...