How To! with Mike Pesca

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas , co-author of Humor, Seriously! , and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we've ever met. They...

Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you're more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the firs...

Forgetfulness. Repetitiveness. Confusion. Dementia is a long, painful road for both the person living with it, caregivers, and their additional loved ones. Mara's mom just received her diagnosis and Mara is wondering what is next for their family. She turned to our host Courtney Martin for guidance—since Courtney is going through the same thing with her father. On this episode of How To!: Courtney...

Shannon is set to become an ordained minister—but she has always struggled with public speaking. Here's the thing: She's fine in front of large gatherings. In smaller gatherings, however, she mentally "freezes up" and rambles until she regains her train of thought. As Shannon prepares to start interacting with a congregation, Courtney Martin sits her down with former How To! host Charles Duhigg, a...

When Patti retired a few months ago, everyone told her she would love the freedom and flexibility that came with leaving the workforce. Not so. The transition has left Patti grieving the loss of her routine and sense of purpose—and she's wondering how to find fulfillment in life's (gulp!) third act. On today's episode, Courtney Martin welcomes Brad Stulberg , author of Master of Change: How to Exc...

Our series about friendship ends with a look at, well, how friendships end. Alice and Grace connected when their kids started dating. They became fast friends whose family lives were intertwined—in a good way. They even joked that they might end up raising grandchildren together. When the kids broke up, Alice and Grace broke apart, too. Now, Alice is wondering whether she should fight for her cher...

In part two of our series on friendship, we're looking at how to revitalize a relationship that began in a previous phase of life. Michelle and Blair became fast friends in grad school. That bond survived graduation, marriages, and even a cross-country move. They now live just a short drive from one another—but things have never felt so distant. Michelle wants to know how to evolve their friendshi...

Love typically reigns in February. But, here at How To!, we are giving friendship its due. For the next three episodes, we're going to teach you how to find friends in surprising places, how to grow and change in your friendship during life transitions, and even how to recover from a friendship breakup. So today we're starting with a potential cure for our epidemic of loneliness: intergenerational...

Dry January has come and gone, but the conversation about alcohol—and rethinking our relationship with it—is still very much with us. This week's listener, Natalie, wants to move past the abundance vs. abstinence debate and talk about a third option: thoughtful moderation. In this episode, Courtney Martin brings on journalist Rosamund Dean , author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change...

Travel can be thrilling, relaxing, even life-changing. But planning for your big trip? Not so much. There are so many unknowns: Where to go? When is the best time? How much do you want to spend? In this special episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Brady Binstadt, owner and CEO of the adventure travel company Geographic Expeditions . Brady explains how to pick the right destin...

We're constantly getting bombarded with messages about our bodies: They're too big. They're too small. They're not muscular enough, not curvy enough, and so on and so on. Rebecca has lived in a bigger body all her life and she wants the messaging to stop. She's done all the things—followed plus-size influencers, deemphasized weight from her health goals, tried to rewire how she thinks about weight...

Andrew snores so badly that his cats won't sleep in the same room as him. He's desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art , to share the history of why we breathe the way we do. Turns out being a "mouth-breather" is more than just an insult, it's harmful to our hea...

Small talk has a bad reputation. It's boring, shallow, and awkward. Who really wants to talk about the weather, again ? But, when done right, it can be a cornerstone of connection. In this episode, Carvell Wallace is joined by Susan McPherson , the author of The Lost Art of Connecting . Susan is going to help our listener, Bee, navigate the uncomfortable small talk that she endures everyday at sch...

Sometimes reading our news feeds can feel like getting hit by a semi-truck of devastating information, without really knowing how to respond. We can't always tune the world out, which means we need to figure out how to be an empathetic person within the chaos. In this episode, Courtney Martin is joined by public theologian and best-selling author , Nadia Bolz-Weber , as well as artist and activist...

When he's not working on How To! or coaching his daughter's basketball team, our producer Derek John loves to play in pickup games with friends. But a serious on-court injury has kept him on the sidelines for months. Now, as he prepares to return to the sport he loves, Derek is seeking tips on how to prolong his playing days while avoiding another injury. In this episode, author Jeff Bercovici joi...

Jonny is a 26 year-old bachelor whose cooking often leads to heartache (and for one ex-girlfriend, a stomach ache). Jonny admits he's a klutz in the kitchen, so we hooked him up with Sam Sifton , cookbook raconteur and head of the New York Times's Cooking section . In this episode of How To! we see if we can teach our love-lorn Millennial to cook one perfect meal. Is romantic bliss just a well-bro...

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we learned to love our faces , started reading again , aced an interview , dealt with difficult parents , said goodbye to our pets , cooked chaotically , moved to a new country , navigated adult autism , and breathed like Navy SEALs . On this episode, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin are joined by former...

Dan enlisted in the Army in 2003 during the early phase of the U.S. wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He just retired after 20 years of service—and is adjusting to myriad challenges of civilian life while also managing PTSD, ADHD and new sobriety. On this episode of How To!, Bob Beard of Arizona State University's Center for Science and the Imagination joins us to talk about a new program that's helpi...

Allison is on the hunt for her next hobby. One that's satisfying. One that she can stick with. One that will fit into her family's very busy schedule. Except…maybe she's thinking about that last part all wrong. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Eve Rodsky , author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space . Eve argues that drawing—and defending—boundaries for individual, creativ...

A parent's main job is to protect. But what happens when your parent doesn't protect you? What happens when they not only let bad things happen to you, but they doubt and dismiss you when you ask them for help? Our listener, Haylie, decided to go no-contact with her father after multiple attempts to reconcile their relationship. Now she wants to know how to grieve the death of the relationship. On...

On a recent phone call Shannon's mom didn't mince words: The only way she'd vote for Joe Biden is if Jesus himself comes down and tells her to. Growing up in a conservative household, Shannon understands her parents' support for Trump. But she no longer sees eye-to-eye with them and every time they talk about politics it turns into a fight. The result is a complete fraying of their relationship. I...

Hot flashes, fatigue, and vaginal dryness were some of Katie's first clues that her body was changing. Half the population will experience menopause, yet misinformation still abounds—with doctors ill-prepared to talk to patients about this major life transition. On this episode of How To!, journalist Susan Dominus joins us to share the knowledge she gained from working on her viral magazine piece,...

To celebrate their third wedding anniversary, Anjali and Rahul are each selecting a surprise activity to do together. This happy couple loves spontaneity, so they're concerned about someday growing bored in their relationship. They're also feeling pressure to mark the traditional milestones of marriage, including having kids. On this episode of How To!, authors Caryl and Jay Casbon join us to shar...

Our listener Abdullah has reached a plateau. A mid-career manager at a large electronics engineering corporation, he feels intellectually unstimulated. Even though Abdullah has a stable job with seniority, he dreams of going back to school and pursuing his true passion: economics. But with a family to support, should Abdullah make a risky leap? On this episode of How To!, host Carvell Wallace is j...

Kids generate so…much…stuff. A lot of it is memorable. Videos of their first words? So cute. Colorful drawings that progressively get better? Masterpieces. Trophies, stuffies, books? All valuable. The problem: There's no way to keep everything. So how do you figure out what to cherish and what to toss? On this episode of How To!, co-hosts Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin bring in Nonnahs Driski...