How To! with Mike Pesca

Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre know that grandparenting is more than just cookies and Play-Doh. Don't get us wrong, those things are fun! But the art of contemporary grandparenting requires mindfulness, intentionality, and navigating boundaries. On today's episode, Courtney Martin talks with Marilyn and Shirley about their book, The Mindful Grandparent , and the wisdom they've gained as el...

Trisha is craving a break from her job, but she doesn't want to drain her bank account. On today's episode, Courtney Martin connects Trisha to DJ DiDonna, founder of The Sabbatical Project, who's on a quest to make extended breaks accessible to all. DJ explains how to plan for a sabbatical that is both meaningful and manageable. If you liked this episode check out: How To Hit "Reset" On Your Caree...

David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. "I don't think you're gonna make it," a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn't the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychia...

How To!'s senior editor Joel Meyer recently experienced a yard sale fail and wants to know what went wrong. He spent hours planning and organizing the items on his lawn, but when it was all said and done he barely made enough to cover the cost of lunch. Enter this week's expert, Ava Seavey, a self-described master of garage-sale-ology and author of Ava's Guide to Garage Sale Gold . Seavey tells ho...

Meg once was a terror in the world of roller derby. But these days, her sedentary lifestyle is making everyday physical activities a tad daunting. (We're looking at you, groceries that need to be carried up four flights of stairs!). She wants to start lifting weights, but she's unsure where to start—and whether she can avoid the bro-culture of many weight rooms. On this episode of How To!: Courtne...

After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave's small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave's family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually uncovered Dave's lies, deceit, and infidelity. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace welcomes Nina Renata Aron ,...

Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke , the writer and illustrator behind Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness , to talk with Paula about an emotion that's hard to talk about—and even ha...

Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is curious what an alternative path might look like. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace is joined by Abby Falik ,...

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of...

Leigh is a stellar employee by all accounts. She deeply cares about the company's mission. She gets along with her coworkers. She delivers great work. So why does every critique cut deep and leave her questioning her worth? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin consults the columnist Alison Green , who answers tricky workplace questions at the advice site, Ask a Manager . Alison helps Leigh...

When Allen's gym crush asked him—point blank—if he liked someone, he panicked. Should he tell her? What should he do if she wasn't actually flirting with him? On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin finds out what happened and brings in Jeff Guenther, therapist and author of the new book Big Dating Energy. (You might know him as TherapyJeff from TikTok , Instagram , or YouTube .) Jeff gives Al...

On this episode of How To!: co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace sit down to talk about his new memoir, Another Word for Love . In the book, Carvell's examination of his own journey becomes a reflection on how so many of us spend our lives trying to become whole again. He and Courtney discuss his approach to writing and interviewing, what it means to be seen as good (versus actually being...

A few years ago, Leah was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Her condition has posed many serious challenges, including how to start and maintain friendships. She wants to build a rich social life, but her symptoms—and the stigmas surrounding mental health—often get in the way. When Leah does meet a new person, she struggles with how (and when) to talk about her diagnosis and feels intense pressure to...

"Doing the work" is a phrase often heard when talking about racial justice. We heard it a lot after the death of George Floyd in 2020. And we need to continue talking about it—but there's an important aspect of "the work" that's been missing. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in Garrett Bucks , author of The Right Kind of White and founder of The Barnraisers Project , to help Eliz...

Mia is a professional violinist. She's played in symphonies. She's played in improv groups. She's played as a form of personal exploration. But now she's taking on a big, conceptual project that may have nothing to do with music. Instead, she wants to create a piece rooted in connection. The only problem? She doesn't know what she wants to create. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace brings...

Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas , co-author of Humor, Seriously! , and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we've ever met. They...

Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you're more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the firs...

Forgetfulness. Repetitiveness. Confusion. Dementia is a long, painful road for both the person living with it, caregivers, and their additional loved ones. Mara's mom just received her diagnosis and Mara is wondering what is next for their family. She turned to our host Courtney Martin for guidance—since Courtney is going through the same thing with her father. On this episode of How To!: Courtney...

Shannon is set to become an ordained minister—but she has always struggled with public speaking. Here's the thing: She's fine in front of large gatherings. In smaller gatherings, however, she mentally "freezes up" and rambles until she regains her train of thought. As Shannon prepares to start interacting with a congregation, Courtney Martin sits her down with former How To! host Charles Duhigg, a...

When Patti retired a few months ago, everyone told her she would love the freedom and flexibility that came with leaving the workforce. Not so. The transition has left Patti grieving the loss of her routine and sense of purpose—and she's wondering how to find fulfillment in life's (gulp!) third act. On today's episode, Courtney Martin welcomes Brad Stulberg , author of Master of Change: How to Exc...

Our series about friendship ends with a look at, well, how friendships end. Alice and Grace connected when their kids started dating. They became fast friends whose family lives were intertwined—in a good way. They even joked that they might end up raising grandchildren together. When the kids broke up, Alice and Grace broke apart, too. Now, Alice is wondering whether she should fight for her cher...

In part two of our series on friendship, we're looking at how to revitalize a relationship that began in a previous phase of life. Michelle and Blair became fast friends in grad school. That bond survived graduation, marriages, and even a cross-country move. They now live just a short drive from one another—but things have never felt so distant. Michelle wants to know how to evolve their friendshi...

Love typically reigns in February. But, here at How To!, we are giving friendship its due. For the next three episodes, we're going to teach you how to find friends in surprising places, how to grow and change in your friendship during life transitions, and even how to recover from a friendship breakup. So today we're starting with a potential cure for our epidemic of loneliness: intergenerational...

Dry January has come and gone, but the conversation about alcohol—and rethinking our relationship with it—is still very much with us. This week's listener, Natalie, wants to move past the abundance vs. abstinence debate and talk about a third option: thoughtful moderation. In this episode, Courtney Martin brings on journalist Rosamund Dean , author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change...

Travel can be thrilling, relaxing, even life-changing. But planning for your big trip? Not so much. There are so many unknowns: Where to go? When is the best time? How much do you want to spend? In this special episode of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg brings in Brady Binstadt, owner and CEO of the adventure travel company Geographic Expeditions . Brady explains how to pick the right destin...