How to Survive

It's an episode which falls between episodes 139 and 140...  Perhaps you're hungry for Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones... well if you're that hungry, you can go eat your sh*t... The Babadook (2014) tells the story of Amelia, a woman raising her son alone after her husband is killed. Coping with grief, isolation and an unruly child takes its toll on Amelia, and her life begins to be invaded by...

It's episode 139... and what are they? It's pretty goddamn obvious what they are. Lab coats, badges, THOSE PEOPLE USED TO WORK HERE! Resident Evil (2002) tells the story of a crack-team of mercenaries who are sent into the headquarters of the shady 'Umbrella Corporation' following the leak of a biological weapon. The new virus appears to be able to reanimate the dead, creating an unstoppable killi...

It's episode 138...and you messed with the wrong podcast. Tomb Raider (2018) tells the story of Lara Croft. Ten years after the mysterious disappearance of her father, Lara finds out where he might have ended up - and sets off on a mission to find him. Along the way she gets caught up in a conspiracy she couldn't have imagined - and will have to fight to survive. We discuss the importance of relay...

It's episode 137...and it's not destroying...it's making something new. Annihilation (2018) tells the story of Lena, a biologist whose husband returns from a mysterious military mission only to fall gravely ill shortly afterwards. In order to save him, she joins an expedition following in her husband's footsteps to 'The Shimmer', a strange, expanding, luminescent cloud engulfing a coastal region i...

It's episode 136... and my old scoutmaster used to say 'If the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route'. The Ritual (2017) tells the story of four friends who travel into the Swedish mountains to commemorate the loss of their close friend. During the trip, one of the group becomes injured, and they decide to take a 'short cut' to civilisation through a...

It's episode 135... and somewhere in the world, the wrong pig met up with the wrong bat. Contagion (2011) tells the story of a number of separate people who are all linked by their involvement in the outbreak of a deadly disease. Researchers, World Health Organisation workers, Conspiracy theorists and everyday people (played by a star-studded cast) are in a race against time to save the world from...

It's episode 134... and this is how we fix problem in the Russian space station! Armageddon (1998) tells the story of Harry Stamper and his crew of high-testosterone, middle-American, low-rate oil rig workers. After a meteor the size of Texas is detected, headed towards earth, the crew are trained as astronauts and sent into space so they can drill into the asteroid and blow it up with nuclear bom...

It's episode 133 and we're going to get you. We're going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep. The Evil Dead (1981) tells the story of four students who head to a cabin in the woods to celebrate spring break. Before long, they accidentally uncover a magic book, and accidentally raise the dead. As if thats not bad enough, the dead they raise is evil! Will they make it out alive? We tal...

It's episode 132 and this is an accident, a forgotten, perpetual public works project. You think anybody wants to ask questions? All they want is a clear conscience and a fat paycheck. Cube (1997) tells the story of a group of people who are trapped in a gigantic cube, made of thousands of smaller cubes. A large number of the cubes are filled with dreadful booby traps. Will they put their differen...

It's episode 131 and against all odds, we've finally covered a movie about astral projection. Insidious (2010) tells the story of Renai and Josh, young parents who have just moved into a new home. When their eldest son falls into a medically unexplained coma, weird things start happening in their home - and nothing is as it seems (and nothing is as it could be predicted or worked out in a thousand...

It's episode 130 and that can only mean one thing - the fourth instalment in the  classic Paranormal Activity franchise! Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) continues the ongoing saga of Katie, Toby and Hunter, this time told through the clumsier-than-ever framing device of a self-obsessed teenage neighbour who (for some reason) records everything in her life on a video camera.  We talk about the often r...

It's episode 129...and bon appetit! Raw (2016) tells the story of Justine, a young vegetarian girl who begins a new life at veterinary school. She is met with intense initiation ceremonies, late nights, parties, and the sudden irrepressible urge to eat meat... of all kinds. We talk about the half-measures of vegetarianism; the importance of teaching your children about the risks of chicken as a ga...

It's episode 128...and I think they want us for dinner tonight! Cannibal Holocaust (1980) tells the story of Harold Monroe, a sociologist sent into the Amazonian rainforest to find out what happened to a missing documentary crew. Cannibal Holocaust is honestly a terrible film. Don't bother watching it. I'm not even sure why we watched it. I think someone asked us to cover it once in an email or a...

It's episode 126...and I lost my daughter to the abyss, but tonight I am calling her back. The Void (2016) tells the story of Dan, a police officer who comes across an injured man and takes him to the hospital. At the hospital, weird stuff starts to happen, including horrific mutations of nurses into monsters; the appearance of a sinister group of violent cult members; inexplicable power outages;...

It's episode 126...and be afraid... be very afraid... The Fly (1986) tells the story of Seth Brundle, a scientist who invents a way to transport objects through space. When testing the machine on himself, he accidentally fuses his DNA with that of a fly which was trapped in the machine - and he begins to slowly turn into a man/fly hybrid! We talk about the benefits of the boys in blue; the conveni...

It's episode 125...and with great a great podcast comes great responsibility... Spider-Man (2002) tells the story of Peter Parker, a nerdy teenager who is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains: super-human strength, the ability to climb walls, the ability to shoot webs, freakish spatial awareness and cheeky wit - all the things you would associate with spiders. We talk about the dangers of lyin...

It's episode 124...and I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Wonder Woman (2017) tells the origin story of Diana Prince, Amazonian Princess of Themyscira and superhero also known as (unsurprisingly) Wonder Woman. When a super spy from some Great War lands on her shores she's sure she can stop the fighting simply by killing her nemesis Ares - but has she underestimated the cruelty...

Happy Boxing Day! What better way to celebrate than by watching a film with an increasingly tenuous link to the festive period? Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) reintroduces us to plucky cop John McClane, who is at the airport awaiting the arrival of his wife for the festive period. But oh no! A nefarious terrorist group are staging a mission with evil intent at the very same airport! On Christmas Ev...

It's Christmas! Here is the first of 2017's How to Survive Christmas Specials Home Alone 3 tells the story of Alex, a young boy who becomes stricken with chickenpox. Alex's parents leave him home alone, which is unfortunate as his neighbourhood is under attack from four spies hired by the North Korean government to steal a missile chip from the US Air Force.  We talk about the least appropriate ch...

It's episode 123...and this isn't going to go the way you think. It's nearly Christmas and that can only mean one thing - Disney have started up the Star Wars machine and churned out another episode of our favourite far, far away franchise. Set your phasers to lightspeed! Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi (2017) finds us once again following Rey, Finn, Poe, Ren and Luke, as well as some characters with...

Slight delay on today's podcast but rest assured that our episode on The Last Jedi will be out on Thursday the 21st of December, plus there's a whole lot more coming your way over Christmas. Cheers!

It's episode 122...and I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise.   The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) tells the story of a trio of bandits in search for buried gold, complete with all the betrayals, standoffs and shootouts you'd expect from the Wild West. Clint Eastwood starring as the enigmatic Blondie in what is undoubtedly one of the great Western cinematic epics, but...

It's episode 121...and they tell me you're a man with true grit. True Grit (2010) tells the story of Mattie Ross, a precocious 14-year old farm girl who sets out to avenge her father's death with the help of cantankerous drunkard Rooster Cogburn and cantankerous teetotaler LaBoeuf. Together the trio trek across the Old West in search of justice, cornbread and - above all else - a coward by the nam...

It's episode 120...and this isn't Casper the fucking friendly ghost you're chasing! Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) takes us back to the 1980s to find out the fascinating backstory of Katie, Kristi and Toby the pesky poltergeist, all shot in crisp late-noughties HD footage! When the furniture starts flying, there's only one solution...film it all for posterity! We tackle the usual plot twists and con...

It's episode 119...and I knew before you told me that you've got an American flag in your home. You've probably got more than one. Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017) tells the story of Bradley, a drug runner caught in the crossfire between his job, his morals and his family. Sent to prison, needless to say things go badly for baldy Bradley. We talk about how far it's worth pushing your moral code, phon...