How to Survive

It's episode 163 and we're paell-ing on the gore in possibly the best found-footage film ever made! REC (2007) follows news reporter Angela, and her cameraman Pablo, as they follow Barcelona firemen on a routine night of work. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, just hordes of the rabid undead and heinous religious abuse. We talk Spanish history, the best splat sound in horror history and the benefi...

It's episode 162... and maybe the best horror sequel ever... This week, Creep 2 (2017), in which another videographer is drawn into the path of Josef. Josef now calls himself Aaron, and this time he's hoping to  collaborate with Sara. Will Sara's desire to make an interesting YouTube video cause her to become ensnared in Aaron's trap - or will she turn the tables? We talk about sensible knife-hols...

It's episode 161... and in space... no-one can hear you snore... This week, Alien³ (1992), David Fincher's first movie, as 'We love franchises' season wraps up. Alien³ tells the story of Ellen Ripley who, having survived the events of Aliens, now has to fight another Alien (which also somehow survived). This time the showdown is on a planet inhabited by a band of all-male space prisoners who haven...

It's episode 160... and I've heated up some warm milk for you, honey. This week we're kicking off our latest franchise: A Nightmare on Elm Street. You may remember us covering A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) way back in episode 7 - but don't worry, we're revisiting it with fresh eyes nearly three years on - ready to kick off the latest How to Survive Franchise. Strap in for 90 weeks of excitement...

It's episode 159... and I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf! This week, An American Werewolf in London (1981), which tells the story of David, a backpacker who is bitten by (you guessed it) a werewolf while on a trip to (you guessed it) London. David begins seeing visions which seem to indicate he'll transform into a beast at the next full-moon, but are the visions right, or is he goin...

It's episode 158... and this one who's blind... She's the one that can see. Don't look now, but this week's movie is Don't Look Now (1973) - a movie about a couple whose loss leaves them feeling lost. John and Laura seek to escape their grief in Venice - but it's easier said than done for their pair, as their grip on reality begins to unravel. A safe and healthy dose of health and safety leads the...

A slight break in the scheduled programming while we carry out some essential podcast admin. (Totalling up votes for the next horror movie-franchise; negotiating licensing on our life-rights with Hollywood studios who want to make a movie out of the podcast; watching rubbish movies. That sort of thing...) As such, this week is a repeat of 2016's Halloween 'Trick': Wallace and Gromit and the Curse...

It's episode 157... and I'm giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trash can. This week, They Live (1988); a movie in which the wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper puts on sunglasses that allow him to see the hidden forces which capitalist aliens use to control the world.  We stick it to the man with some personal finance tips for intergalactic overlords; the importance of ad...

It's episode 156 - and you now have the option to terminate and be cremated on the premises... In Escape from New York (1981), New York City has been turned into a prison, with giant walls keeping prisoners locked inside. Anyone who goes in may never come out, and the city is run by criminals - which is bad news for the US President, who has become stranded in the city - and for Snake Plissken, th...

It's episode 155: I, Robot - Vintage, 2004. I, Robot (2004). I, Robot is the tale of Det. Del Spooner, as he seeks to solve the riddle of how a robotics engineer died. Despite the best judgement of all the world's lawyers, scientists and engineers, Del suspects a Robot is responsible - and when technology begins to malfunction around him, could he be proved right? We talk about the most rudimentar...

It's episode 154... last chance... download the episode, and you stay in Wonderland, and we show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. The Matrix (1999) tells the story of a hacker named 'Neo' who is drawn in by a mysterious group who want to show him the world as it really is. Is Neo humanity's saviour, 'The One'? and will he be able to stop the deadly 'Agents'?  We talk about the one of the most in...

It's episode 153... and I kick arse for the Lord! Braindead (1992) is called 'Dead Alive' in America, and this is the story: Lionel lives at home with his controlling mother, when he begins dating local shopkeeper, Piquita. Lionel's mother follows them on a date at the zoo, where she's bitten by a Sumatran Rat Monkey. What happens next must be seen to be believed, but have your sick bags at the re...

It's episode 152...and we have found you in a box... True crime writer Ellison Oswalt (yes really) is desperate for another hit, and so takes the rash decision to move his family into a house in which the previous family were brutally murdered. A box of snuff films, missing children and mysterious pagan deitys await the Oswalts in this fascinating, unique story that can only be described as 'a hor...

It's episode 151...and it's a g'day for an apocalypse.  Cargo (2018) tells the story of one family's struggle to survive both the harsh conditions of the Australian outback, and a rampant contagious disease that has ravaged society. Can modern humanity outlast this apocalypse, and do they even deserve to? We throw another Martin Freeman on the barbie, tie our kangaroos down to unnecessary annivers...

It's episode 150... and I've heard of spirit photography before, but I've never actually seen it in person... The world's spookiest franchise has finally come to an end, as we dig into Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015). The movie tells the story of the Fleege family, as they are beset by ghostly-goings-on. Naturally, the haunting is tied directly to everything that has happened in th...

It's episode 149... and if I don't make it back, remember you're the one who made me come here. This week, we're back on Isla Nublar for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018). The movie tells the story of Claire and Owen as they rescue the dinosaurs of Jurassic World from a volcano, and then attempt to foil an evil corporate plot to exploit the animals. We discuss whether a dinosaur would make a u...

It's episode 148... and I never wanted to be your mother. This week: 2018's Hereditary.  Laugh's abound in the story of Annie and her family as they grapple with bereavement, trauma, grief, and paranormal goings-on. Are they seeing ghosts, or going nuts? Are they being haunted, or have they just lost their heads? We talk about the benefits of preparing for medical maladies; the importance of healt...

It's episode 147... and I feel like I know this place. I recognise this text box. This week is Triangle (2009). The story of a young woman who joins some new friends for a yacht party, only to have their voyage interrupted by a storm. The storm passes, and they board a creepy ship for rescue - but that's when things get really weird. We give practical advice for first dates; pull out a classic tip...

It's episode 146... and It's a game. It's a process of elimination. The last man standing gets to walk out of here alive. This week it's Circle (2015), a movie about a group of people who wake up to find themselves standing in a circle, forced to vote every two minutes to decide who should die next until only one remains. Twists abound as we chat about a movie which throws away any goodwill it dev...

It's episode 145...and do you think that taxpayers would like it if they knew that they were paying a federal agent to surf and pick up girls? This week it's Point Break (1991), and precocious 17-year-old Johnny Utah is spending the days with his family at their 17th-century villa in Lombardy, Italy. He soon meets Bodhi, a handsome doctoral student. Amid the sun-drenched splendor of their surround...

It's episode 144... and above 24,000, you're at the vertical limit, you're already dying. Look at you. You can hardly stand. If you think you can stop me, go ahead. Vertical Limit (2000) tells the story of Peter and Annie, a brother and sister who find themselves atop K2 some years after they were involved in a climbing accident which killed their father. Now bad luck has befallen them again, and...

It's episode 143... and we have your woman outlander! She still lives! Children of the Corn (1984) tells the story of Burt and Vicky, two Outlanders, on their way to a new life on the other side of America. They pass through a series of cornfields, and soon find themselves in a town where there are no adults, only shrill children. Where are the adults? Who are the children? And who walks behind th...

It's episode 142... and I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits. Pain and pleasure, indivisible. Hellraiser (1987) tells the story of Frank, a sexual deviant who decides to push the boundaries of human experience by opening up a portal to another world. Consequently, he loses his human body, and has to get it back in the most convoluted way ima...

It's episode 140... and who are we if we can't protect them? we have to protect them. A Quiet Place (2018) tells the story of the Abbott family. Rare survivors of a deadly attack from creatures which hunt based on sound alone. The slightest sound could be enough to get your torn limb from limb, so what better way to discuss it than in a purely audio-based format. We discuss the mealy-mouthed advic...

It's episode 140... and Man, if I could travel through time, I'd timeportal my ass to the Bahamas. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014) tells the story of three teenagers who experience paranormal activity taking place around their home. Luckily, they film everything with handheld video cameras, so we get to watch it play out in all its predictable, preposterous glory. We discuss the danger...