How To Love Yourself No Matter What

If you’re an overthinker, you’ve probably been told to calm down, think more positively, or learn to meditate. I don’t think that’s what’s missing. Your brain is a workhorse. It wants to work, and if you don’t give it something to do, it’s going to go find problems. And it will always find them. In this episode I talk about why your survival brain goes looking for danger when there isn’t any real...

A few weeks ago I got a no. I applied for something I really wanted, something that would have been a big deal for me and my business, and I didn't get picked. I'm not going to tell you what it was because it doesn't matter. What matters is what happened in the 4 seconds after I read the email, when my brain was off and running with every reason I wasn't good enough and every argument for making m...

Bittersweet is the feeling of saying hello and goodbye at the same time, and if you're resisting it, you're in a lot more pain than you need to be. In this episode I talk about the seasonal change we're in right now, both the one happening outside your window and the one happening in your life. Kids leaving home, parents aging, friendships shifting, chapters closing before the next one has really...

The main point: a lot of us are essentially “cold-blooded” — meaning neurodivergent, ADHD-leaning, or simply sensory-sensitive — and our capacity to function hinges on the micro-environmental inputs we can control, so the real leverage is finding and installing your own “warm rocks.” I say this as someone who’s both lived it and coaches people through it: treating this as a physiological truth (th...

I'm at an international adult figure skating competition this week, and it got me thinking about why we stop doing hard things — and what happens to us when we do. This episode is about doing the hard thing. Not the hard things that life hands you without asking — the sickness, the loss, the layoff, the breakup. I'm talking about the hard things you choose. The ones where your brain says "maybe I...

Something goes wrong and your very first thought is "what did I do?" An unexpected meeting lands on your calendar and you spend the whole week reviewing everything you might have messed up. Someone's in a bad mood and you're already scanning for how it was you. That reflex has a name, it's called internalized blame, and it is not the same thing as taking responsibility for your life. It's the thin...

Somewhere along the way, you were taught there was something wrong with you. How you looked, how you spoke, how you were in the world. So you spent years trying to prove that wrong, and no matter how hard you worked at it, you kept coming up short. You don't feel like a hero. A lot of days, you feel like a loser. That's where this class starts, and it's why I called it The Anti-Hero. This episode...

Today I have my client Annabelle on the podcast, and I'm so glad she said yes. When Annabelle and I first started working together, she was sitting in the car with her husband in tears. They had just moved from Denver to Northwest Arkansas with a 4 year old and no family nearby, she had opened a business a few months earlier, and she was working 12, 13, 14 hours a day. Not sleeping. Not eating. Op...

If punishing yourself worked, you'd have healed by now. That's a line I said in a class recently, and I can't stop coming back to it. Most of us have been taught that when we're not getting what we want in life, the fix is to punish ourselves. We just don't call it that. We call it "holding myself accountable," or "making sure I don't make the same mistake twice," or needing a system and a list an...

Today we're talking about something I've wanted to make an episode about for a long time: infidelity. Specifically, the woman who cheats. If that's you, I already know you're carrying a crushing weight — the secrecy, the panic, the shame society piles on top. Because we've all been told that cheating is the ultimate, unforgivable relationship sin. But after years of coaching and hundreds of women,...

This episode is all about judgment: why we're so quick to hand out labels, and what happens when we stop. It started with a lightbulb moment at a family gathering that turned into a bit of a masterclass in how fast our brains reach for judgment over understanding. We're digging into why choosing to believe that everyone — yes, even the guy who just cut you off in traffic — is doing their best can...

Life is messy. Yours, mine, everyone's. And somewhere along the way we decided that was the problem. Something to clean up before we're allowed to be happy. It's not. I'm Amanda Hess, certified life coach, and this episode is about a trap I watch women live in for years. The "I'll be happy when." When the house is calm. When the hard thing is over. When I finally have it together. The messy and th...

Summer isn’t always the sun-soaked paradise we imagine it to be, and today, we’re diving headfirst into the sticky, sometimes cringe-worthy world of summertime shame. It’s a unique flavor of shame that creeps up on us when we’re basking in the sun, and trust me, I’ve seen it pop up in all sorts of unexpected places. Whether it’s about how we look in a swimsuit or feeling like we should be doing mo...

Here's this episode: I'm going after the thing nobody wants to name. Everyone tells you the problem is that you don't love yourself enough. It's not. The problem is shame. That's it. That's the whole thing. Shame is what shows up the second you're anything less than perfect, and every single human on the planet has it — but women get handed a bigger pile of it. We're taught to feel shame about our...

Are you a responsibility hoarder? Well, if you've ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, this episode is right up your alley! We’re diving headfirst into the intriguing concept of responsibility hoarding, a term that packs a punch and might just hit a little too close to home for some of us. We chat about how many of us take on responsibilities that are way outsi...

Alright, folks! So today we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of self-criticism and the liberating idea that sometimes, the truth just doesn’t serve us. Picture this: you drop a glass and suddenly you’re the clumsy villain of your own story! But guess what? It’s time to flip the script! I’m here to chat with you about how our interpretations of our little blunders can spiral into a tsunami o...

Alright, folks, let’s dive into some juicy family dynamics! Today, we're peeling back the layers on why family gatherings feel like stepping into a well-rehearsed play where everyone knows their lines—especially those cringe-worthy ones. The real kicker? It’s not about the events themselves; it's about the patterns we’ve been stuck in since we were knee-high to a grasshopper. We're talking about t...

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU SET A GOAL, PUSH HARD FOR A FEW DAYS—AND THEN FALL OFF AND WONDER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Like no matter how many times you try, you can't seem to make yourself do the things you say you want to do? If that's you, this episode is going to change how you see yourself. Because it's not that you're lazy. And it's not that you lack discipline. It's that the fuel you've been us...

What Happens When the Helper Can't Handle You There is a systemic failure happening in the helping industry — and nobody is talking about it. Coaches and therapists are opening emotional doors they are completely unprepared to sit in. And when you show up authentically — crying, angry, overwhelmed, resistant — instead of being held, you get shut down. Pathologized. Shamed into getting small. I'm r...

Do you ever feel like there’s a version of you that wants more out of life… More joy. More confidence. More freedom. More YOU. But every time you try to move toward her, something pulls you back? In this episode, we’re talking about identity, possibility, and why becoming the woman you want to be has less to do with “fixing yourself” and more to do with what your brain believes is possible for you...

Today I’m talking about something I see constantly in women who are overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, anxious, or stuck in survival mode: the inability to slow down and be alone with themselves. So many of us are constantly doing. Working, parenting, helping everyone else, consuming self-help, listening to podcasts, journaling, trying to improve ourselves, trying to stay productive — and while no...

Let me tell you, if you’ve ever felt like you just can’t shake off a past hurt, you’re in for a treat. We’re diving into the fascinating world of trauma—what it really is and why it affects us all differently. I’m talking about the sneaky ways that emotional pain can manifest in our daily lives, from the tone of someone’s voice to the way silence can feel like a punch in the gut. It turns out that...

Alright friend, grab your gardening gloves because today we’re talking about something really important: how to create a life that actually blooms. The biggest takeaway from this episode? I think we spend way too much time pulling weeds and not nearly enough time planting flowers. You know how in spring we clean out our gardens? We pull out the dead stuff, clear the weeds, make space for something...

If you’ve been repeating affirmations, journaling your thoughts, and still feeling stuck… we need to talk. Because it’s not that you’re doing it wrong. It’s that these tools aren’t actually designed to create the kind of change you’re looking for. In this episode, I’m breaking down why mantras and journaling often don’t work—especially for sensitive, self-aware women—and what to do instead. Mantra...

If you’ve ever thought “why am I so emotional?” or felt like you’re just too sensitive for this world , this episode is going to shift everything. Because what if the problem isn’t your emotions… but what you’ve been taught to believe about them? In this episode, I’m breaking down the hidden conditioning that makes sensitive women feel weak, overwhelmed, or “too much”—and why that narrative is not...