How To Be a Terrible Daughter

In this episode, we take the blueprint of the narcissistic family and lay it over the systems we're living inside. And unfortunately, the overlay lines up. We talk about how the tactics you survived as a child didn't disappear. They just scaled. The gaslighting got institutional. The blame got bureaucratic. The punishment became policy. Same dynamics, now with a PR team. If you grew up being told...

In this episode, we zoom out. Way out. We take everything we've learned about narcissistic family systems and scale it up. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it. The same patterns that shaped your childhood might also be shaping your workplace, your healthcare system, your government, your church, your economy. Fun! We talk about how narcissistic abuse doesn't just live in individual homes....

Not all narcissists look the same. Some are loud, shiny, and aggressively self-impressed, others are quiet, aggrieved, and somehow still manage to make every situation about themselves. In this episode, we break down both the obvious and the sneakier versions, from the classic grandiose type to the subtler subtypes that operate under the radar while quietly running the entire emotional economy of...

In this episode, we break down the strange and rigid logic of narcissistic family systems and the roles children are quietly forced into just to keep things from blowing up. We talk about how these identities get assigned early, why they stick so stubbornly into adulthood, and how sibling relationships often carry more tension, confusion, and grief than anyone wants to admit. Some roles absorb bla...

In this episode, we introduce the idea of Good Parent Messages , the kinds of emotionally regulating, grounding messages children are meant to receive as they grow. Not grand praise or vague affection, but specific, steady signals of safety, welcome, and attunement. We talk about how children of narcissistic parents often grow up without these emotional nutrients, and how the absence doesn't just...

This episode is a re-release of our Holiday Survival Guide from last year! We wanted to bring it back for a couple of reasons. First, we have a lot of new listeners (welcome!) and we want to make sure that as we enter this chaotic holiday season, you have the tools you need to make it a little more tolerable. Also, we're practicing what we preach! We could have listened to our inner critic and pus...

This week we are wading into the murky, sparkling, and occasionally shark infested waters of romantic relationships. You know, the ones everyone insists are supposed to feel like a cozy partnership except yours somehow keeps echoing the greatest hits of your childhood. In this episode we talk about why your adult dating patterns are not accidental, they are often emotional reruns of the relationsh...

In this episode, we wade into the wild, destabilizing landscape of apology and repair, where narcissistic "I'm sorrys " are really emotional trapdoors painted to look like compassion, and healthy accountability actually feels like oxygen. Megan and Elizabeth pull apart the difference between a conversation that brings clarity and one that leaves you wondering if you hallucinated the entire conflic...

So you finally did it. You went no contact. You broke out of the emotional prison your narcissist built, and now you are standing in the sunlight, blinking like a hostage released from a basement full of family heirlooms and gaslighting. In this episode, we talk about what happens next. The emotional hangover, the logistical chaos, the sudden silence that feels both terrifying and euphoric. We get...

Welcome back! It's time to hate your parents with us again!   This week, we're talking about how to take care of yourself while listening to hard things, like this podcast. Because when your childhood featured emotional dodgeball as a family sport, hearing about narcissistic dynamics can light up all the old circuitry. We share the ways we each stay grounded while recording and listening, so you d...

Guess who's back from the grave? Not our narcissistic mothers — they're still gloriously, blessedly dead, and we're thriving in their absence.  It's us! Megan and Elizabeth, your favorite terrible daughters. Life rudely got in the way of recording, but we've clawed our way out of the chaos to drop this little trailer and let you know that season three is actually happening.  Coming soon: episodes...

This week, we're tackling one of the most unsettling and deeply confusing questions many of us face: Was it abuse? And let's be honest—if that question keeps showing up like 3 raccoon s in a trench coat whispering cryptic messages outside your window at 2 a.m., you might want to investigate. In this episode, we dig into why psychological and emotional abuse are so much harder to recognize than phy...

A n ger. The emotion we were taught to fear, suppress, or avoid entirely—especially if we grew up under the reign of a narcissist. In this episode, we rip up the old rulebook on anger and talk about why it's actually one of the most sacred, transformative forces we have. Turns out, anger isn't the enemy—it's a signal, a boundary, a fire that can be channeled into power instead of destruction. But...

Not everyone has the luxury of going no-contact with a narcissistic parent, and if that's your situation, congratulations—you've unlocked the expert-level difficulty setting on f*ed up family dynamics. In this episode, we break down why no-contact isn't always an option (hint: the whole "just cut them out of your life" advice isn't as simple as it sounds). Whether it's family obligations, financia...

Ah, forgiveness—the gold standard of healing, right? Well, not so fast. When you've been through narcissistic abuse, the usual "forgive and move on" advice hits differently (read: doesn't apply). In this episode, we get into why survivors often feel pressured to forgive before they've even processed what the hell happened—and why prioritizing your own healing is way more important than rushing to...

In this episode, we wade through the debris of self-esteem left in the wake of growing up with narcissistic parents. It's not a pretty picture. From the relentless cycle of love bombing to the casual demolition of what little self-worth we managed to scrape together, we unpack the chaotic dynamics that leave us questioning our value. It's not just the mixed signals, either—narcissists thrive on ke...

Parenting is hard enough without the baggage of a narcissistic childhood, but add that to the mix, and it's like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with a blowtorch—messy, confusing, and likely to leave you questioning your life choices. In this episode, Elizabeth gets real about the emotional booby traps of raising kids after surviving narcissistic parenting, sharing the moments that have both wre...

We're off to the movies this week! On How to Be a Terrible Daughter, we're diving into the 1987 cult classic The Lost Boys. Vampires, family drama, and a killer soundtrack—what's not to love? But beneath the stylish leather jackets and fangs, this film holds surprising insights for anyone unraveling the complexities of childhood trauma.  Join us as we unpack the movie's themes of found family, gas...

This week, we're tackling the high-stakes scavenger hunt of finding the right therapist, especially for those of us recovering from narcissistic abuse. Let's face it—finding a therapist isn't just about picking the one who looks the least like they'd start a cult. We break down the whole process, from roping in friends and former therapists for recommendations (because why do all the work yourself...

What happens when the place that's supposed to feel the safest—your childhood home—turns out to be the source of your deepest stress? Your nervous system does what it's designed to do: it kicks into survival mode. In this episode, inspired by Megan's viral blog post, we explore the four common stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the lesser-known (but all-too-familiar) fawn. If you've ever...

The holidays are coming in hot (and so are the guilt trips), but fear not—we've got your back. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever gathering your narcissistic family insists is mandatory, this time of year can feel like an emotional minefield. That's why we're kicking off Season 2 with The Holiday Survival Guide.  This isn't your typical advice about bringing a nice dish and avoiding po...

In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter , we expand on a topic we touched on in previous episode, and it's a BIG one, boundaries —a concept that might as well have been a foreign language growing up with narcissistic parents. Boundaries weren't just discouraged; they were often trampled over, leaving us with the difficult task of figuring out how to set them as adults. Whether it's about...

In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter , we take a stroll through the exhausting, often invisible labor of loneliness that comes with having a narcissistic parent. This isn't the kind of loneliness where you finally get some peace and quiet—no, this is more like an unpaid internship where you're emotionally drained and questioning your life choices daily. It's the kind of loneliness that...

Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter!" In this special mailbag episode, we're diving into your burning questions about surviving and thriving despite narcissistic relationships. We kick things off by discussing how to handle those who get prickly about the term "narcissist"—because let's be honest, it's not your job to make everyone else comfortable with the truth. We also clear up some...

Welcome back to "How to Be a Terrible Daughter," where we tackle the gut-wrenching yet necessary step of going no contact with a narcissistic mother. First, let's break down what "no contact" really means, it's not just about ignoring a few phone calls. It's about reclaiming your peace and sanity from the grip of a narcissist. It's a dreaded yet liberating move that can feel like cutting off a gan...