How Married Are You?

How do you keep fighting for a marriage when it feels like you're the only one trying? In this episode, we talk about emotional neglect, vulnerability, communication, and why a lack of intimacy is often a symptom not the root issue. We also share our thoughts on the emotional weight of raising Black children in today's climate and how recent events have impacted our family. Patreon Aftersh...

"My faith says trust God. My reality says I'm exhausted."A listener approaching her 29th birthday writes in with a question that many believers quietly wrestle with:What do you do when your faith and your reality seem to be telling two different stories? After years of investing in her career, serving faithfully in church, pursuing creative dreams, navigating racism in Christian spac...

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This week on How Married Are You?!, we respond to a follow-up email from a wife trying to rebuild connection in her marriage while navigating exhaustion, cultural expectations, difficult in-law dynamics, and the weight of carrying too much for too long. Resources & Links Donate to Theo's Hockey Team: Cash App: $BeleafyVenmo: @MrsMelanin Ember mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMent...

We dive into a powerful listener message from a wife and mother walking through a difficult season in marriage, financial pressure, and the challenge of waiting on God when the next step isn’t clear. Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First...

We discuss our relationship with church. Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Re...

What started as a simple morning turned into a full-blown meltdown, a parenting debate, and a real conversation about how we show up for each other. Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨ht...

After leaving a 7-year toxic relationship, she did the work to heal, grow, and become more secure in herself. Then she met a man who seemed like everything she prayed for. He’s consistent, grounded in faith, emotionally present, and makes her feel safe in ways she’s never experienced before. Their connection feels deep, intentional, and healing. But there’s one problem… He still won’t commit. Reso...

A wife writes in feeling overwhelmed, unsupported, and unsure if her marriage is even worth saving anymore. Two kids. Financial pressure. Emotional exhaustion. And a husband who… won’t step up. Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.or...

How do you keep your past from ruining your present? In this episode,,we respond to a newlywed wrestling with a real question: How do you not project what you saw growing up onto your marriage? And the truth is… you probably will. We talk about:Why projection is almost unavoidable in relationshipsHow to recognize when it’s happeningThe difference between your partner’s behavior vs. your past wound...

How many chances is too many? In this conversation, we unpack what real repentance actually looks like, how to tell the difference between healing and just covering things up, the warning signs you shouldn’t ignore, and how to know when it’s time to stay—or walk away. Patreon Segment: The real behind-the-scenes of life on the road—plumbing issues, locked doors, unexpected breakdowns, and the menta...

She said, “This is the best relationship I’ve ever had…”No drama. No toxicity. Just peace. But his family depends on him for everything. Now she’s wondering…Am I building a future with him or inheriting a responsibility I’m not ready for? Real question:Can love grow when pressure is already this heavy? Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂...

Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿h...

In this video, we respond to a real question from a woman whose boyfriend, a church leader, told her he couldn't marry someone who drinks alcohol, even occasionally. Should she give up something she doesn’t personally believe is wrong in order to honor the man she loves and hopes to marry? Or is that the kind of change that must come from personal conviction, not relationship pressure? If you’...

In episode 282 of @howmarriedareyou, a 30-year-old listener shares how @Beleafmel and @MrsMelanin helped her believe marriage was possible, after growing up surrounded by divorce and broken relationships. She did the work. Therapy. Self-help. Healing her anxious attachment. She became secure, confident, grounded. Then she met a man who felt “too good to be true.”Two and a half years later, after p...

What do you do when you and your spouse want the same outcome… but you can’t agree on the way to get there? 😩🤍 In Episode 281, a newlywed writes in with a marriage tension that feels small at first… until it affects everything: perfection vs progress. She’s the type who believes action brings clarity. Even a “no” teaches you what you need for the next attempt. Her husband is the type who wants t...

What do you do when you’re rebuilding your life after divorce… and wondering if you should do it alone? 💔➡️🏗️❤️ In Episode 280, a recently divorced listener writes in asking a vulnerable question: should he focus entirely on rebuilding himself — financially, emotionally, and spiritually — or should he actively pursue a relationship with someone who can help him build his life alongside him? 🤔 Af...

What do you do when your partner’s “boundaries” start feeling like control? In Episode 279, a listener writes in about being engaged to a woman who reacts strongly anytime other women are around. On a group trip, she told him to keep his distance from one woman she believed was staring at him. When that same woman ended up sitting next to him in an Uber, his fiancée texted him to move his legs awa...

What do you do when you keep praying for God to remove someone… and they’re still here? In Episode 278, a listener writes in about dating a man who came in strong — intentional, consistent, saying all the right things, and claiming his goal was marriage and family. But once she finally became his girlfriend, the effort disappeared. No thoughtfulness. No intentional dates. Barely any engagement. He...

What do you do when the person you married starts sounding like someone you never would’ve chosen? In Episode 277, a 21-year-old listener writes in about getting married at 19… and feeling like her husband is unrecognizable now 😔. They bonded over faith, culture, and shared values — even agreeing they’d never become “patriots.” But after he joined the military and found community in a new environ...

Have you ever had a “what if” person… and you can’t tell if it’s God’s timing or an emotional trap? In this episode, a listener writes in about a seven-year friendship that keeps circling back into something deeper. They’ve never kissed, she’s been abstinent for five years, and now — for the first time — their timing finally aligns to explore a relationship. But she’s torn: he’s warm, patient, and...

In this episode, we talk honestly about something we’re still learning how to navigate in our own marriage: celebration, hosting, and friendship. We unpack a real disagreement between us — one where gathering people, creating moments, and hosting feels meaningful and necessary to one of us, while the other experiences those same moments as pressure, disruption, and emotional overload. Neither of u...

In this episode of How Married Are You, we respond to a listener email from a newly married wife who’s quietly struggling with loneliness. Between long work hours, late nights, exhaustion, and limited time together, she’s worried this season might become their new normal — and she doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful or like a nag for wanting more connection. We talk honestly about marriage s...

Happy Holidays, y’all! As the year comes to a close, we’re taking a short break from our regularly scheduled podcast episodes to rest, reset, and be present. As a little holiday gift, we’re sharing a conversation from the Patreon vault that you may have missed. If you enjoy conversations like this, join us on Patreon for weekly bonus conversations after every podcast . In this Patreon vault episod...