Hot Property with Dan and Stephen

Dan does not tell a famous person’s joke. Jon Gruden, more like Jon Gru-done! We make up a societal norm. What is a grilled cheese really? Also Domino and Chef Boyardee are brothers. If you’re an Italian, I’m sorry for this episode.

We’re still talking about Sly Stallone for some reason. Stephen found a new cookie he would do it all for, and then we dissect all the ways to eat Oreos. Dan ate an entire thing of bacon before recording. Would you wear smoked sweats?

Dan does not remember Discovery Zone, but recounts a great experience at the theater! Stephen vows to never go to Chipotle again, but only after he tries their new menu item. Is it “Slice Stallone” or “Sliced Alone”? None of Sylvester Stallone’s movies rhymes with pizza.

Work sucks, I know. Dan finds the holy grail of cookies. We join Sam’s Club. Stephen runs down the week in NFL. We make a tribute to one of the greatest comedians and influencers of the podcast, while revealing some origins.

We’re joined by fan favorite Dr. Scientist for the annual Paqui One Chip Challenge. This one hurt, gang. But we learn a lot of science!

Kanye West is the new Bob Dylan. We said it. WE’RE COMING IN HOT for Season 3! Dan falls in love with a Fruity Pebble. Stephen kicks off the fall season. What do they call Cool Ranch in europe?

SEASON FINALE - We flex our knowledge of past presidents from the GET, and then we do the MONSTER MASH. Stephen goes DOWN UNDAH for a snack. Why are we yelling? And while we’re on the subject, what awaits us after death?

This one starts out a little dark, but we also talk about a lot of food. We finally hear audio of Dan’s drunk day out. Cheetos pasta and Cool Ranch LAY’S?! WHAT’S THIS WORLD COMING TO? Also Jenna isn’t really a guest on this one so much as she interrupts the podcast to eat chips.

We find out who killed JFK. Dan describes the plot of Peaky Blinders and sings the GoPuff jingle a billion times. Stephen recounts his Suicide Squad brush with fame, then spoils Space Jam 2 for everyone. Would you like some warm milk and pickled onions?

This is episode 58. We laugh, we cry, we use our bear hands.

What would happen if we switched bodies? Dan visits an old friend who hates Mondays. We draft the celebrities we want to fight, and Stephen wins Best Actor in a Leading Role from 1993’s Philadelphia. Please send Dan all your dishwashers and cum.

Loki spoilers inbound! We recap the first season, then talk about food. Snoopy has an enormous penis. Have you tried Marlboro BBQ Menthols? How do the Teletubbies fuck tho?

We’ve eased back into society! But just for two songs. Dan finds a comedian with a great catch phrase. An unlikely combatant joins the chicken wars. Which 2001 movie cause 9/11?

Man, it’s a hot one. Seriously we’re in a heat wave. And we're dying. Tokyo Drift is in the house, and so are bad Russian accents. Are you Cheesygoing? Can cows jump? Who is Peter Charles Phillips?

The future of movie reboots lies solely in the hands of Lebron James. We talk about which Harrison Ford character is more important to us. We check in on an old friend from Reddit. And is there anything cuter than Dave Bautista in glasses?

Dan discovers a snack that’s been around since the Summer of Love. Stephen is in some kind of mood, and distracted by a video game championship. What do you put on the Ritz? Can anyone stop Vin Diesel? No. No they can't.

We’re joined by the expert in everything bitchboi, Joe Joe Augustine. We sing the songs sing to our pets, and nerd out on Marvel shows. Also we hold scissors for the entire episode for some reason. What would you name your penis? Have you heard about D.B. Cooper?

How do we commemorate our 50TH EPISODE?! Push our bodies and minds to the limit with the Lil’ Nitro gummy bear challenge! Also, what even is a Scoville? Dan and Dr. Scientist recount rollercoaster stories. Stephen tries not to cry again. Does he succeed? Who among us survives?

We talk about Ketchup for too long. Billie Dee Williams is the impression of the week. Stephen airs some grievances. Which food mascot could you beat the shit out of?

Thank you for coming to our hostage situation. We talk about the ballad of Kenneth Lamar Noid. Dan takes a life on air. Stephen doles out some STREET JUSTICE (that's the name of the episode!)

Dan discovers Rap Snacks, and we create our own for the under represented rappers who may also love snacks. Is Zuckerberg watching what you do on your Oculus? What’s your go-to Karaoke song? Ours is all of them.

Is Kanye insane? Yes. But not as insane as people who hold up lines in stores with stupid comments and lottery tickets. And definitely not as insane as everyone’s favorite puzzler, Jigsaw! Which one of your favorite fictional characters could survive? Live or die! The choice is…ours!

Hope you like hearing us talk about Hot Pockets for an hour! We discuss the definitive way to cook them and rank each method. We meet a new friend named Andi, who helps us with the lore of the Pocket, as well as suggests activities we can do while we cook them. This is the last time we’ll talk about Hot Pockets. We promise.

We resurrect a fan favorite from the dead to drink seltzer with us. That’s pretty much the whole episode. Bud Light owes us $1,000,000 for this product based episode. Rob tells us about Hell. Stephen mixes all the seltzers together. Dan talks about “ectoplasm” a lot.

We’re kind of all over the place on this one. We draft our best songs to bang to. Stephen finishes his Best Buy saga and then talks about positivity in song and dance. Dan is a huge fan of Modern Family…NOT. Also, does King Kong not have a penis?