Hold The Mother

In today's episode, we dive deep into the process of finding the right therapist for you. Whether you are new to therapy or have been through it before, the search for a suitable therapist can be overwhelming - but it doesn't have to be! We'll cover everything from what an accredited therapist is, to the importance of a personal fit with your chosen therapist and the impact this can have on your t...

In this podcast episode, I explain why you may find it hard to rest if you have experienced trauma, particularly if the trauma occurred in your early life. I explore with you three reasons why you may struggle to rest and suggest a strategy I use myself when my own inner critic voices get in the way of my own rest. I hope you enjoy the episode! Links Worth Clicking: 7 Types of Rest and How to Inco...

In this podcast episode, I talk more about postpartum anxiety and how it affects your thoughts, emotions, body and behaviour. Around 15% of new mums experience a significant anxiety problem during pregnancy and up to the first year postnatally. So if you can relate, you're not alone. I delve into how anxiety is something we need to keep us safe, but how perceived threat can trigger your anxiety ev...

In this podcast episode, Joyella shares her journey through new motherhood, deeply influenced by her own experiences of being parented and her childhood trauma. She recounts the challenges of being raised by a young, single mother with limited support and how this has shaped her approach to parenting her two-year-old son differently. We talked about the complexities of managing and understanding o...

Today I chat with Siti about the complexities of childhood trauma. She shares personal experiences and reflections on how various forms of childhood trauma, including emotional neglect, criticism, and lack of acceptance, have impacted her life into adulthood. We delve into the nuanced ways trauma manifests in behaviours, relationships, and self-perception, discussing the fear of rejection, the str...

Today's episode is all about the concept of 'mum rage,' which is characterised by intense, often inexplicable anger experienced by mothers. I unpack the two typical primary reasons behind mum rage: unmet needs and triggers of past experiences. Unmet needs can stem from the demands of childcare, work, and household management, leading to feelings of depletion and isolation. Conversely, certain situ...

Today I want to talk about the complexities of navigating Mother's Day for people who have experienced childhood trauma, specifically abuse or neglect from their mothers. My hope for you is that this episode will give you the confidence to engage with Mother's Day the way you need to, challenging societal expectations and the pressure to conform to normative expressions of appreciation, like sendi...

When I had my children I had no idea what 'The Fourth Trimester' was but learning about it has been so important for me and my clients. And I hope it will be as affirming for you too. The fourth trimester, which is first three months post-pregnancy, is such a significant time for mother and child to bond and adjust to their new roles. What I know to be true is the need for emotional and practical...

Welcome to the latest episode of the Hold the Mother podcast. I'm Laura Hans, your host and perinatal psychotherapist, and today we're diving into the world of maternal mental health. In this episode, I'm really excited to chat with you about something super important – how we can tackle those toxic thoughts that often creep into our minds. You know, the ones that mess with our emotions and action...

This week, I delve into the concept of self compassion in motherhood and why it's so important in building resilience, reducing anxiety and depression and, ultimately, helping children model self compassion for themselves. As ever, I share personal experiences and insights, along with practical tips on how self compassion can be cultivated and maintained. Episode highlights: 00:48 Understanding Se...

In this episode of 'Hold the Mother', I discuss what to consider when therapy isn't working. I explore signs of ineffective therapy, reasons it might not be working, and what you can do about it. I emphasise the importance of finding the right type of therapy, the appropriate mode of delivery, and a therapist that you connect with. And I also explain the benefits of a versatile therapist...

I am trained in both Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR). The beauty of this is that I can draw upon each of the modalities at different points in your therapy journey. What I use and when will depend on your treatment needs and goals. This podcast episode explores how to choose the right therapy in more detail… Episode highlights: What is C...

Our inner child is the child part of us that carries all the pain we felt from not having our core needs met in childhood. To a certain degree, you could say we all have an inner child. However, people who were let down more often as children will tend to have a very strong inner child that can be triggered easily by what may seem like very small incidents to other people. Episode highlights: What...

According to Tommy's Pregnancy Charity, an estimated 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Becoming pregnant after baby loss can be particularly anxiety provoking. This episode discusses my own experience of a missed miscarriage and may be triggering for some to listen to. Episode highlights: My own experience of having a miscarriage The signs of anxiety to look out for in a pregnancy after loss...

It is estimated that around 30,000 women a year in the UK experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of their baby. In this episode, I chat with Katie who had her first baby in lockdown and sought support to overcome the trauma she experienced. This is a story of hope and recovery, but may be triggering for some. Episode highlights: How the use of medical terms such as "failure to p...

Many of us, including mothers, can become emotionally dysregulated in everyday life. Those who have experienced a lot of stress and trauma are likely to become more dysregulated more quickly, so it’s important to know some simple, accessible ways to calm yourself down. This episode explores an exercise that teaches you how to use calming, soothing thoughts and images to regulate the nervous system...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I explore the topic of intrusive thoughts in parenthood. We all get intrusive thoughts, although some are more bothered by having them than others. Why is this? Have a listen to find out! Episode highlights: What are intrusive thoughts? Why do they bother some people more than others? My tips to manage intrusive thoughts based on a decade of being a psychotherap...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Shelley Bradley-Scholey, an EMDR Consultant all about Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing Therapy. I am so passionate about this therapy after receiving it myself and feeling like it 'hit the spot' much more than other psychological therapies. Join us as we explore this life-changing therapy! Episode highlights: What is EMDR Therapy? The...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I explore the topic of low self-esteem, a hugely common problem that many people experience for one reason or another. Episode highlights: What is low self-esteem? How does low self-esteem develop? My top three tips as a psychotherapist to get started on improving your self-esteem in motherhood If you enjoyed this episode, please share with anyone you think woul...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Jacqueline Kelly, Motherhood and Matrescence Coach, about all things Matrescence - the process of losing ourselves in motherhood! Episode highlights: What is Matrescence? The difference between Matrescence and perinatal mental illness Mum guilt and why we experience it, from Jacqueline's point of view If you enjoyed this episode, please share with an...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Scott Mair, Father's Mental Health trainer, campaigner and advocate, about how Dad's can look after their mental health when they have a new baby. Episode highlights: The importance of antenatal education and peer support for Father's Paternal Depression and the statistics The impact on Father's when being/working away from their babies Advice for Da...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with J'Nel Metherell (IBCLC) about her role as a lactation consultant and her work with families, using her expert advice about breastfeeding. We also talk about the emotional difficulties that can come with breastfeeding, or not being able to for whatever reason. Episode highlights: Common breastfeeding problems Myths around breastfeeding An IBCLC - the...

In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk about my experience of trauma from a personal and professional perspective. I talk about what trauma is and give examples of traumatic memories that I have worked through myself, as well as those that I have helped my own client's work through. Episode highlights: Examples of trauma, both in and outside the perinatal period How going through an overwhelmi...

In today's episode of Hold The Mother, I speak to Tessa van der Vord about her role as a Mental Health Midwife and what support she offers for those in pregnancy or postnatally who are experiencing mental ill-health. Episode highlights: What support you can expect from a mental health midwife The most commonly seen mental health difficulties in the perinatal period What a Perinatal Mental Health T...

In today's episode of Hold The Mother, I share some of my tips on how to support yourself as a parent from my experience as a mum of three, and as a psychotherapist specialising in maternal mental health. Episode highlights: How to ask for practical support in the newborn phase and beyond Ways to ensure you have good social support Why emotional and psychological support is so important, and how y...