Hey Tabi!

When a survivor retreat feels more like church than church itself, it's time to ask why. What happens when abuse survivors experience more safety, compassion, and authentic Christian community at a retreat than they do in their own churches? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook shares powerful reflections from women who have survived coercive control, domes...

Have you ever found yourself wondering where God's goodness is in the middle of a painful season? In this special episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook shares a devotional originally presented at a women's retreat centered around one powerful verse from Psalm 27: "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord's goodness while I am here in the land of the living." Rather than loo...

What happens when grief, church hurt, disappointment, and cultural pressures begin shaping our faith more than the Gospel? In this episode of Hey Tabi, Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Bible teacher, author, speaker, and podcaster Elizabeth Woodson for a rich conversation about spiritual formation, healing, discipleship, singleness, biblical literacy, and learning to trust God again after painful...

Have you ever felt like the “problem person” at church no matter how hard you tried? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores what happens when churches unconsciously — or intentionally — scapegoat members instead of addressing dysfunction within the system itself. Tabitha also explains how church scapegoating mirrors coercive control dynamics often seen in...

If worship music makes your chest tight, if opening your Bible brings more dread than comfort, if you still believe in God but can't bring yourself to darken the door of a church — this episode is for you. Church hurt is real, and it runs deep. It's not a crisis of faith. It's a wound — and like any wound, it makes sense that your body and soul have learned to protect themselves. In...

Licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook takes an honest look at why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) often gets a bad rap in trauma work—and where it still holds real value. In this episode, she breaks down what CBT actually is, where it came from, and why its focus on identifying and shifting automatic thoughts can be helpful—but also deeply limited when used in a rigid, one-size-fits-all w...

If you’ve been hurt by the church, struggled to trust God again, or felt confused about what’s true… you are not alone. In this powerful conversation, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Rachel Clinton Chen from The Allender Center to unpack: 🚩 What spiritual abuse actually is (and why it’s so hard to name) 🚩 How abuse distorts your view of God, yourself, and relationships 🚩 Why s...

Most people think abuse means being hit. But what if some of the most damaging abuse leaves no visible bruises at all? In this deep-dive episode, licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what coercive control REALLY is and why terms like "domestic violence" or "narcissistic abuse" don't even come close to describing it. In this epis...

What if everything the church taught you about divorce was based on misquoted research and a mistranslation? In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook sits down with the one and only Gretchen Baskerville — Christian author, speaker, and founder of LifeSavingDivorce.com — to dismantle the myths that keep abuse survivors trapped in destructive marriages. With 25+ years of biblical and evidence-based insigh...

Positive affirmations get a bad rap, and honestly, some of them deserve it. But in this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook walks you through affirmations that are actually rooted in truth and designed to help trauma survivors heal. This is a practical episode. Grab a pen, download the free PDF (linked below), and let's do this together. Resources Mentioned 📄 Dow...

What does suffering really mean, and what do kids and adults actually need to hear about it? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Beth Broom, licensed professional counselor, trauma care expert, and author of 10 Questions About Pain and Suffering: 30 Devotions for Kids, Teens, and Families (Crossway), for an honest, hope-filled conversati...

Have you been so conditioned to be sweet, small, and unproblematic that you've lost your voice, or worse, put yourself in danger? In this episode, we're talking about one of the most important distinctions I know: niceness is not the same as kindness. Niceness is others-regulated. It needs approval to exist, it collapses under pressure, and it can be a fawn response — your nervous system...

What if the thing you've been afraid to say out loud is exactly what could heal you? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with story work coach Jen Vrooman — certified in Narrative Focused Trauma Care from the Allender Center — to explore one of the most powerful tools in the healing process: writing and sharing your story. Jen breaks down what st...

Confession feels like the goal—but what if it's actually the starting point?  In this episode, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, to talk about what genuine recovery from sexual addiction looks like in the church. Nick shares his own story of pornography addiction, staggered disclosure, and the turning point that change...

What if your desire isn’t something to suppress… but something to understand? In this episode of Hey Tabi , I’m joined by therapist, researcher, and author Jay Stringer to explore what he calls the “civil war of desire.” Many trauma survivors experience deep internal conflict around sexuality, pleasure, food, intimacy, and even their relationship with God. We want connection — and fear it. We long...

What role does storytelling play in trauma recovery? And what happens when the trauma occurs inside the church? In this episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with Dr. Ann Maree Goudzwaard—biblical counselor, domestic abuse advocate, and founder of Help[H]er Ministries—to talk about trauma, spiritual abuse, coercive control, and the healing power of telling the truth. Drawing from her experience intervie...

There are parts of your story you’ve learned not to talk about—because naming them feels disloyal, shameful, or dangerous. But avoiding those chapters may be exactly what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker, author of Make Sense of Your Story and host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast,...

We slow down and practice simple tools to move from survival to safety, using consent-based exercises, micro-practices, and imagery to regulate the nervous system. We talk about building a 911 card, explore glimmers, and use music and compassion to make calm more reachable. If you need some embodied coaching, we are happy to walk alongside you and help develop that strong toolkit with you. Our con...

What happens when emotions are ignored, suppressed, or labeled as “wrong”? For many trauma survivors—especially those raised in Christian spaces—emotional suppression doesn’t lead to peace or holiness. It leads to anxiety, shame, disconnection, and relational breakdown. In this episode of Hey Tabi , trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Emma Ward...

What does it actually look like when the Church gets it right for survivors of abuse? In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi , licensed trauma therapist and coercive control expert Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dawn Jones, founder of Restored to Thrive , a church-based ministry supporting women healing from domestic abuse/coercive control, and relational trauma. So often, abuse survivors experien...

All abuse is physical abuse—even when there are no visible bruises. In this episode of Hey Tabi , licensed trauma therapist and domestic abuse expert Tabitha Westbrook explains the neuroscience behind coercive control and why survivors often experience brain fog, memory problems, anxiety, emotional numbness, and difficulty concentrating long after the abuse has ended. Drawing from current neurosci...

What happens when trauma silences your story, and what does it take to speak it aloud again? In this episode of Hey Tabi , trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with biblical counselor that does not suck Melissa Affolter to explore the healing power of story for survivors of trauma. Together, they talk about why trauma often leaves people wordless, how shame gets stored in the body, and why...

What happens when a pastor admits, “We made it worse”? In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor Matt Chandler for an honest conversation about how uninformed church systems have harmed abuse survivors - often unintentionally, but deeply. Tabi didn't provide any questions in advance and Matt didn't shy away from anything asked. Togethe...

Is emotional abuse being hidden behind Christian language like submission and forgiveness ? In this episode of Hey Tabi , trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with bestselling author Leslie Vernick to expose the truth about emotional abuse in Christian marriage , and why so many survivors are told to stay silent and endure harm. If you’ve ever wondered: Is my marriage emotionally abusive?...

When we’ve lived through abuse, or we spend our lives helping others heal from it, it’s shockingly easy to accidentally pick up the same tools, patterns, and power dynamics we’re trying to dismantle. In this deeply honest conversation, trauma therapist, Tabitha Westbrook, and biblical counselor that does not suck, Chelsey Gordon explore how survivors, advocates, and church leaders can resist becom...