Hesby Street

Hey Hesbos! Torio wants you to have a happy Valentine's Day and hold him for hours. The world is gonna end soon, so don't worry about your follower count. Did we shoot an alien? What if it was just a chill alien? President Torio will pass the controller to his VP while he focuses on snacks. Don't let Zack become famous. He'll become impossible to deal with. Are we high or do doors not open anymore...

Hey Hesbos!!! Zack's sick and Torio is in desperate need of some big-brother energy. We discuss a recent trip to the Magic Castle, a hypnotized friend, and the power of a good suit. Are you letting your dying dog live for a healthy year, or talk for a day. There's a lot to cover in that hypothetical. Also if you're dating a gymrat, that's a huge red flag. Fat and flab is what real lovers are made...

Hey Hesbos! Zack had a rough trip across the country, but this isn't a sports podcast. Did our founding fathers have a Philly accent? Torio would rather be with trashy people than hipsters. Some wild town names in this country just can't change. There's nothing like a life partner that straightens your tie. It turns out Hungover Zack and Anxiety Torio have a lot in common. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHIN...

Hey Hesbos! Zack brushed his teeth for this one. Torio gets a special general meeting with a familiar figure in the industry. We have some great tales from the green room. Zack might be the new Joey in the famous Jimmy & Joey tandem act. Torio confirms he was never supposed to host. Wal Mart pranksters are the new daredevil, and we strategize how to survive a stadium full of eagles fans. ALL E...

Hey Hesbos! Things are getting steamy on Zack's new favorite reality show. Things also got way too steamy in his last audition. Don't even think about asking to see it. We can't believe Are You Hot? was an actual TV show. We need to start pitching to the biggest names in the biz. We could go on a general meeting, but there's better insurance out there. Childhood's tough when you got a hot mom. ALL...

Hey Hesbos! Come to our comedy show on January 18th! You got something in your teeth, stranger. Don't snore if you're playing dead. Torio should never explore his ancestry. They weren't just boat makers. We're getting old and trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour. No more candy! Zack had a bad alcohol trip one time. ACAB includes police horses, right? ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on...

Hey Hesbos! We ring in the new year like a world-class bobsled team. Those rusty handles can't slow us down, plus we got a dumper. Torio's got the brain fog, and Zack has an apartment dilemma. Kombucha is only acceptable if it's made by a corporation. We find Torio's dream girl, but she's got to deal with all those foxes outside. Sorry alpha bros, we won't even jump into a fight in the comment sec...

Hey Hesbos! Torio got a sweet new hat. Zack had a very Hesby Christmas, and we're thinking about moving to Texas with our fans. Only one movie can link Santa and the prophet Muhammad, and it's on Netflix. Dating games are a lot like food delivery app games. Zack tries to report the news, but he's still adapting to life as a small business owner. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram:...

Hey Hesbos! Zack hates getting his own stuff used on him, and Torio hates getting used for other people's bits. We improv a heartpounding movie scene, and Torio makes sure we go out with a bang. We also address a pimp-out from one of our dear patrons. Don't gamble away your money on altitude. Speaking of altitude, Torio's pilot impression is out of this world. Always remember to be nice, even if y...

Hey Hesbos! We have a great episode here, minus the tragic death of Zack. Nothing beats driving on the road, unless you're getting talked down to. Who poops without their phone?! Wash your ass, fellas. Dating is weird, unless you open with a funny line about quicksand. Morning routines have gotten Zack into a real bind. Look at the neck on that guitar!! ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on In...

Hey Hesbos! Rejection is supposed to bother you, right? Zack starts a new business. Torio said, "great set" at the weirdest possible moment. We got a fun "would you rather" that's based on Zack's trip to Mexico. You can't bring that notebook in here, you art thief! Please buy an egg nog bowl, and for the love of God, don't put any punch in it. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @...

Hey Hesbos! How long do you push it before you give in and buy new socks? Probably not as long as us. Torio does a country club and discovers it's separate but not equal. RIP Budd Friedman, here's some silence for you. Follow our friends Joe Marrese and his podcast  @Joe Code Podcast  as well as Matt Lockwoods  @The Big Humble  podcast. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on...

Hey Hesbos! We think back to a simpler time of Dunkaroos for lunch. Zack needs to figure out what to do with all his dirt. Torio manifests like a doomsday prepper. The world would be a much better place if we all said, "Damn, you got me there." Pizza or sex? ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystreetpod @toriovangrol @zackchapaloni Merch and Live Show dates: https://www.hesb...

Hey Hesbos! We voted! Torio's depressed. Zack's an offensive chef in a new HR video coming to a corporate email near you. We go full throttle this episode. We're talkin 110 mph the whole way. We need Disneyland adults to sound off in the chat. SWAT is filming in Hollywood and now Torio can't park anywhere. Could this be his big break? In some ways, Dave Matthews is pretty great compared to Chuck B...

Zack got to work with his childhood crush. Torio lives in a fraction of a half, but all that's missing is some enchantment... and change for laundry. Grab a handful of Kit Kat, but make sure you get consent first. You know who's kinda the worst? Thou!! ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystreetpod @toriovangrol @zackchapaloni Merch and Live Show dates: https://www.hesbystree...

Hey Hesbos! Torio needs help with creating a video for his fans and stalkers. Scruff McGruff is takes a bite while getting sucked. Those soda machines are the future and it's scary. Piggy banks are dumb. We talk pits and soaks in Utah, and Torio might have found love at a cafe in Silverlake. Indiana Jones might be in the MCU, but he's still got daddy issues. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us...

Multi-prong is here to stay. Zack tries a new impression. Put your 3-piece suit on, the serial killer profiler is here!! If you liked Thomas the Train as a kid. You're a serial killer. Whatever happened to plain old gay? Zack voted on the wrong things. What's the most problematic team name that isn't a bird? Don't worry about what the Friars are swingin' at! ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us...

Torio misses "Coming Out Day," again this year meaning he has to wait until next year all over again. Zack explains the traditions of National Lefty Day. The NFL fumbles their new anti-cancer campaign. How come you never hear the stories about the professional athletes that fail to hit the game winning homerun for the dying Make-A-Wish kids? "We Tried. And We're Sorry." ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!...

The earth is indented. Aliens are coming for our water and our Harries. We have a new secret menu item. Now are you ready to Fuel-a Di Fiyah? No leg room, no exit row service. Being a fireman isn't worth it if we don't get to hang out most of the time. We had a window seat showdown of the year, and the designer of the original commercial airplane is probably turning over in his grave, and in his s...

Hey Hesbos! Torio couldn't make it to this episode, so we got hilarious comedian Willie Simon to fill in. We cover all of it: Hostage video acting, teachers into students, Zack's grandma's bullying tactics, adult crushes, baby ghosts of the Comedy Store, senior pranks, and the critical importance of the film Alpha Dog. Enjoy! ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystreetpod @to...

Hey Hesbos! Freemason is a dumb job. There, we said it. There's a big honey heist that we discussed in our Patreon episode, and we're gonna get our hands dirty... or sticky. Will a million ten do it? Zack had an audition from hell, on Christmas, in Vegas, behind the Thai restaurant. Come by whenever. Torio got his prescription gummy bears for Dave Day. Now we just need the perfect weed for ruining...

People have gotten too extreme, and our brains are pissed. There's a lot that can go wrong on a dinner date. Plates get taken, crumbs get dropped, double bombs get ordered. We're happy for the big mouth lady. If you want to be good at standup comedy, wear a costume! If you want to get promoted at work, avoid knowing where the broom is. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystr...

Our standing ovation was scary long. Coach got a little carried away with this week's Patreon Pimp-Out. Oversized loads are confusing. Where are they taking that screw?! King Kong needs to check in before he picks up that lady. If you ever order off the Hesby Street secret menu, be very specific. I love it, man! ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystreetpod @toriovangrol @za...

The first live recording is in the books, and boy oh boy did we break a lot of glasses! Special thanks to the Bus Stop in San Francisco, Blonde Medicine, Jim McCambridge, our guests Orion Levine, Jalisa Robinson and Jeff Dean. And a big thanks to all the Hesbos who came out and made it such a magical evening. ALL EVERYTHING IS NOTHING!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

John Wayne will not make it stop, so don't even ask. You haven't made it until you have a nice house with one of those laundry sucking things that you can have sex with. Huh? All everything is nothing!! Follow us on Instagram: @hesbystreetpod @toriovangrol @zackchapaloni Merch and Live Show dates: https://www.hesbystreetpod.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.