Heretics' Social Club

Send a text The Corinthians live on the shore in Greece. The kids call it the Greasy Shore, and MTV is doing a reality show there, but Pauly isn't very happy about the way Ron talks to the ladies at Bed after Sam left because she wasn't feeling very well, so you know he just HHHAAADDD to write a letter. There's mad drama down on the Grecian Shore! Won't you join us, friends?

Send a text Paul uses his divining rod to find how best to achieve divination on one's rod. We cut straight to the point as Paul jumps from circumcision to castration in a single verse. Give some people an inch, and they take a mile. These beliefs just won't cut it in today's world. As we briskly head into foreshadowed (& fore-skinned) territory, won't you join us friends? 

Send a text "Pauline, Pauline, Pauline, Paaaauuullliiiineeee, I'm begging of you please don't write my man." - Every woman; c. 60-61 ad Trust me, you do NOT want your man hanging out with Paul. Paul is like that guy who talks your dude into staying out all night at the club knowing good and damn well y'all had plans to clean out the garage and get to the Flea Market early...

Send a text Hey there Heathens, hope you've got your sweet teeth on because we're about to sink ours into some of Paul's sweetest treats for Christian Men! Fellas, have you ever been practicing your faith, minding your own business when all the jibber jabber from the fairer sex makes you lose your concentration on the teachings of brainwashery? Look no further than the writings of P...

Send a text Imagine this. Your name is Saul. You're on your way to a dumb ass kiss or something, when BOOM! God turns on the fluorescents and Jesus says "Whatcha doin' in mah waters?" Next thing you know, there are scales falling out of your eyeballs. You told everyone your name was Saul, but it was loud, and everyone thought you said Paul. Now people are calling you that, and...

Send a text Well, it was inevitable. We always knew this day would come. Today we're talking about Islam, but before you get mad at us, just know that it's mostly a True-Crime episode. We go over the "ministry" of Saeed Hanaei of Mashad, Iran. A bold man who decided to take it upon himself to eradicate his city of opportunities to sin. Did he build a university to educate the w...

Send a text The Mormons have been on our radar for a solid minute, most of our lives to be honest. What is it about those pasty white boys, and their multiple wives? Is it the secret underwear? Is it the special gold plates that only Joseph Smith could read? Is it the indentured servitude of all young men to go, and spread the message to the masses? Is Cain of the Cain and Abel story still alive,...

Send a text 'Cause we ain't working here no more. By "working" we mean talking about; and by "here" of course we're referring to the Book of Job! This pile of reasons to worship god is flimsier than the competitors brand on a paper towel commercial. Job gets "comforted" by some of the worst chuckleheads on earth, and above. Tune in to hear the exciting...

Send a text Hey there gang! We're getting into the good parts of the story of Job. You know, the part where he starts scraping his skin off with a piece of old pottery his wife threw at him when she was telling him to curse god, and die. It's pretty much his prized possession at this point. Like that part in The Jerk, where Steve Martin just starts grabbing trash, and saying, "it&ap...

Send a text It's our 50th episode, and we want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate! Speaking of mom's, everyone knows the only way to truly know if a person is loyal to you is to completely eradicate of all forms of happiness that they have experienced. You're going to want them sitting in a pile of ash, and screaming their lamentations out loud while also scrapin...

Send a text Welcome back to Sunday school kids. Sister Wilburn is still out with the flu, so Brother Jason is gonna tell you little fuckers all about the legend of Job. Hope you've got your loins girded, because we're about to shiver your timbers, and test your faith. Say your prayers little Job, don't forget my son to include everyone, I'll bet your wife, and your life, that y...

Send a text In this episode, we'll explore the Great Mysteries surrounding the (love) life and (elderly) death of everyone's favorite Son of G.O.D., I'm taking about ol' J to the C. Yeah, you know He! What you might not know is that He was keepin' it on the down low, bein' bad at the pad, wearing nothing but linen, 'bout to do some sinnin'. "Jesus, wher...

Send a text Look, just because a bunch of dudes in chest armor and cheerleader skirts nailed you to a tree on Friday, doesn't mean you can't still get up with your boys on Sunday! Roll that boulder, and grab a rolling rock with your Peter, and start building that church on the rock! Speaking of rock, we're joined for this quiz show episode by Blake Jones who is a rocker through and...

Send a text In the Season 4 Premiere of Heretics' Social Club, we wish a Happy St. Patrick's Day to all who celebrate the colonial erasure of the indigenous Irish druids who once inhabited the Emerald Isle. Yet another "Hallmark Holiday" created by the folks who want Earth devoid of any cultural ceremony that doesn't celebrate the imaginary friendship between humanity and...

Send a text Hey, before we start this SEASON FINALE, let me ask you all a question. Y'all ever wish you were part of a gang of unruly youfs roaming the streets smoking lots of cigarettes while doing fun felonies like graffiti, and petty theft? Consider Enthusiastic Sobriety. It's a new super fun cool way to stay off drugs by engaging in various forms of drug related behavior, BUT WITHOUT...

Send a text This week we investigate the final section of John's Gospel wherein the Christ is Crucified for OUR SINS! That's right, we did this, and it's all our fault. God knew that one day we'd all be little heathens, so he sent himself to die for us to protect us from himself! Now let's go masturbate in the shower with half a bottle of nice shampoo like we did when we w...

Send a text This week we start off the meal with a little bit of Four Loko lore, crack open some whippets, then we'll have to pry Jesus off the couch to go dig up ol' Lazarus who everyone though had wayyyyy too many drinks, but turned out to just be dead. Oopsie! (Quick parenthetical to say that it's good to put information that offers context but doesn't necessarily add to the...

Send a text Ope, that's my bad. I got Epstein island mixed up with Patmos. Anyway, we're back in the Gospel of John to make a few revelations about what Jesus was up to when he was out slinging red words for y'all to ignore. There's a bit where someone is trying to get stoned, but Jesus keeps drawing lines in the sand or something or another. I zone out a lot during the episode...

Send a text Ho Ho Ho Heretics, Welcome back to the Club! Hope you're having a Social time with your religious family this Holiday season, and that they aren't driving you insane. If they are, take a second out of the chaos to pop in your new airbud pros, and give the ol' HSC a visit. We'll regale you with tales of failing health, while filling you in on the sketchy origins behi...

Send a text You know The Baptist, The Evangel, The Apostle, The Revelator, Who wrote John 1, and John 2 and John 3 & Revelations? but do you recall... the most famous John book of all?  Johnny the Gospelator, had some really whiny prose and if you ever read it you would probably say it blows. All of the other gospels  Told it in synoptic ways. They never let poor Jesus Go into an Early Rage!

Send a text The Ghost of Thanksgiving Past, The Ghost of Thanksgiving Present, & The Ghost of Native American Remembrance Day Future Walk Into a Bar... Wait, that's not how it goes. I think the turkey, and the pilgrim were already in the bar??? Oh wait! Is this where the show Cheers comes from because it's in Massachusetts? I bet so. As it turns out, real-life American history is ver...

Send a text We're so fortunate to have everyone's favorite fortunate son back in the mix for our third look at the silliness encapsulated by the book of Luke. We've been chugging along through the gospels, and this book is done for....now. Who knows when we'll tip toe back into the book of Luke, but I do wish Luke would come talk with us more. We even talked about bringing back...

Send a text Well Ghouls and Ghosts, It's our Halloween episode, which means that once again we have been revisited by the spirit of Halloween herself: OL' CHLOE FURY! That's right folks! Shauncey's wife is sitting in, so you know he'll be on his best behavior. The gang goes SCARE-o-ling, (That's when you go out with friends singing halloween songs on doorsteps for can...

Send a text If our last episode left you with a "feat." fetish, fear not! Mr. Lucas Fury is back to help us Sunday School up you heathens. Shauncey starts with a quick weekend confession booth, Jason jazzes up  a few bible stories by peppering in some curse words, and there's even an old-school sing-a-long. We do our best to entertain, and delight while making a ridiculous unhinged...

Send a text We're chugging along in the gospels, so we brought along our friend St. Luke the Southern Oracle to regale us with a tale of how he came to be the one who got his name inside the big book! Speaking of chugging, he also brought along a few delicious Himosas (Recipe: One part Vodka, one part OJ, one part The Lord) and we all got sloshed in the spirit. That's the spirit! Won&apo...