Heretics' Social Club

Send a text Welp, Jesus and Judas have brushed hands in the gravy bowl, and you know what that means. It's time to head out to the garden of Gethsemane and spend all night crying until our eyes bleed, and asking our dads why they hate us.  Spoiler alert, they won't respond. We want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for taking the time to listen to us over the past four years...

Send a text Well folks, another year has passed without a demon taking possession of either of our hosts, or if they are possessed, it's by a couple of really lazy demons that just want to stay lowkey, and do human stuff like record their podcast about how lame demons are. Maybe that's how they get you. Maybe that's how we'll get you. We will get you. Don't make us beg. We...

Send a text Did the Jesus of the Bible actually exist? Did anyone in the bible actually exist? Are there any people out there looking for Hobbit bones with the same intensity that the man who owns Hobby Lobby looks for Jesus trinkets? Hobbit Lobby would be such a better name, and a way cooler place to shop if you ask me. Acquire in the Shire. Shoppit with a Hobbit. Catch these savings before they&...

Send a text There's a wave of bullshit sweeping across this great nation of ours, and the best way to stay out of the flood is to secure yourself on the rock of unbelieving. Rapture rhetoric is way easier to ignore if you don't believe in any of that shit. Got propaganda pouring out of your ears? Wear some earbuds, and play our podcast. IT WORKS. Also, Jason and I FINALLY send the winds...

Send a text You know what there's just not enough of in this country? Children in schools with guns. That's why the fine christian folks of North Carolina have decided to buy an abandoned school, and teach children offensive tactical maneuvers in the halls. It's like jesus said,  "Go out into the hallways and classrooms and pelt each other with plastic beads. I am the Lord.&quo...

Send a text Y'all remember that fire and brimstone evangelist pastor guy we listened to on the shortwave radio episode earlier this season? Well surprise surprise! Turns out his proclivities extend far beyond the world of short wave radio. These Stairs lead directly into the vaginas of teens and young women of his congregation. Jesus might need to start screening the people he chooses to have...

Send a text What in the hell is happening on earth? I'll tell you what. It's that damn New World Order they're trying to bring about. Old world order better watch it's butt because NWO is on top of their shit, and there's going to be a big fight Monday Night Wooooooooo, I said to figure out, Ohhhhhh Yeaaahhhhh, who gets to wear SHOOOOOOO that belt, or my name isn't Me...

Send a text World's Last Chance is The World's first chance, for someone to say "The World is Flat, Chance" but only if your name is Chance, by chance a.k.a. Chance Jr. Fat chance of that happening though. No offense to Fat Chance from high school, who lost a bunch of weight, and now goes by Skinny Chance. (he's still fat, but he has a lot of extra skin. We're taking...

Send a text Season 6 is back in action like a descendant of the prophet Muhammad claiming to be the leader of the revolution against the sinful chaos that engulfs our world. It's wild that god in all his infinite wisdom couldn't foresee the struggles of man beyond the tidbits of "Y'all figure it out" he left sprinkled around the globe. Earth is basically an escape room ran...

Send a text Did you guys know that it's impossible to survive inside of a whale for much more than a few minutes? Yeah, apparently there's just not enough room in there to build a fire which doesn't make sense to me because I've seen Pinocchio and there was definitely enough room in there for a Full size human, and a puppet, and I think Cleo was even there, but I can't be...

Send a text Hi folks. It's Jason. I bet you're wondering where Shauncey is, and to be honest, so am I. I would absolutely love to feel like this entire podcast wasn't resting directly on my back, but if there's one thing I know I can do, it's carry a load. This episode brought to you by Big Math: Making numbers fun since 2001. Enjoy.

Send a text Have you ever wished you could be in a room with men (just men) voting on the next in line to be god's boy wonder? Did you realize that if you've been baptized and are a man younger than 80, you could be pope (sorry, ladies)? Do you like butchered Latin phrases? Come with us today as we boldly go (come get me, nerds) one more episode with a Shauncey void, but filled to the br...

Send a text Follow us down the rabbit hole of traditions and bullshit that predated Jesus. Yes, there were things that came before him and no, he does not lay eggs. We will tell you where the bunny/egg lore comes from and sadly, it isn't Jesus' cloaca. We're joined by magical mystery guest, Michael Bishop this week, who brings along the lore of Spanish eggs (not huevos). Won't...

Send a text Do you like the word moist? Do you love making other people moist? After you do that, do you stick an egg in a fountain and and hop over a mattress full of babies? If I had a nickel for every time I cleared a greased pole on the first try, I would have enough money to make my omelet fountain dreams a reality. If you'd like in on this venture at the ground floor, the answers you se...

Send a text After the rapture comes tears, baby. That's right tribbers. Pre, Mid, Post. It doesn't frickin' matter when the lord returns as long as he comes at some point, am I right? I mean it's rude to leave someone waiting for you to come. Come or don't, but quit trying to rub it in our face. In the end though, it's all innuendo. If you don't accept the second...

Send a text Time is a flat circle, kinda like a laserdisc, but not as irrelevant. Today we explore the final chapters of the Revelation of John on the Island of Patmos. Angels cc  John on everything happening in heaven, Jason discovers his new "grown-up" voice, and Shauncey is a sober man, but not a doberman because he may be a big dawg, he's not a literal dog. Won't you join u...

Send a text This week we peel back the layers on John's onion of revelation, and get to the swampy bits. Sometimes cutting an onion makes you cry, and sometime it's because one of the guys breaks into a hymn that harkens you right back to yesteryear. I wish somebody would hark in my yester year if ya know what i'm saying? Won't you join us, friend?

Send a text We're well into the swing of things when it comes to the end of the world. The President is a lunatic. The Tik is Tok. Jason is 42. We don't know what the hell is going on in the modern world, but in the bible world we're knee deep in seals, trumpets, and horses. So many tongues. So few appendages. And I saw as it were, a seal riding a horse, and hell with seven horns fo...

Send a text There's no "s" on the end of The Book of Revelation, but there is one on the end of Fuckin' Fascists. Happy Inauguration Day to all who celebrate the end. Speaking of the end, we're at the end of the B-I-B-L-E, but not the podcast, so enjoy part 2 of Revelation, and stay tuned for more apocalyptic calamity in the U.S.A., as well as on the podcast. Won't yo...

Send a text Well folks, looks like this is the end. Technically it's the beginning... of our series on the end... which if you look at it from a christian viewpoint, is actually the end of the physical world, but the beginning of the longer lasting eternal spiritual world where we shall keep company with the hosts of the heavens which is basically primate chatter for "I'm going up i...

Send a text They say Jesus was born in a stable out behind a hotel, but imagine being the innkeeper who told a pregnant lady on the verge of delivery ON CHRISTMAS EVE that the only spot available for all that business was out with the fucking donkeys. Holy shit. Next thing you know there's a bunch of wise men with gifts knocking on the door. A kid with a drum. Someone who keeps asking Mary if...

Send a text Today we're diving into the Bastard Books of the Bible! The books that although they did not ask to be written, were written anyway. They were told their whole lives that they were holy books, but ultimately were not included in the big Family bible we all know and hate. Wait. Am I an Apocryphal book? I think I might be. Hell, you might be too. Let's find out together! Won&ap...

Send a text Season 5 is Alive! After three weeks in the grave, We Is Risen! As you know, one of our favorite parts of breaking down Bible stories is when you get to see glimpses of the humanity expressed by God's chosen ones. So we thought, what if we brought our same calloused irreverent views on the Bible over to the Koran. Would it be well received? Would we be hunted down like filthy dogs...

Send a text Our favorite wife sits in with us for spooky season, and doesn't disappoint with the zingers. We talk about rolling down a hill in a barrel filled with glass, burning half to death before they chop your head off, and plenty more spooky ways to die. 101 Diocletians & Cruella ways to die. Won't you join us, friend?

Send a text Paul continues his domination of the New Testament with his most evangelical work yet. The Book of Romans has 9,447 words, and not one of them is feminist leaning. Paul wrote the book of Romans to explain the salvation process because apparently Jesus hadn't done a good enough job of explaining that during his ministry. Don't worry Jesus, Paul is here to fix all the ways you...