Hello Hayes

On today's episode I'm joined by writer and fellow internet advice giver, Haley Jakobson. When I teased this episode on insta stories a couple of weeks ago, saying “the guest wrote a book on friendship breakups,” dozens of you guessed it would be Haley, and alas, you were right!!! Haley is the author of OLD ENOUGH, a novel that explores, yes, friendship breakups, but also queerness and bisexuality...

Travel and friendship can be complicated, especially when it comes to group dynamics and exclusion. In this week's Hello Hayes, we're talking about how to navigate the complexities of travel and friendship. 0:00 - Introduction 4:28 - Overview of the 3 letters 5:48 - Letter 1: “My OG besties went on a trip without me” 8:21 - My personal experience getting “excluded” 10:30 - Why it hurts to fall out...

[Watch on YouTube] I'm back to reading three letters today! Yay! This week's episode is wedding-themed, but I promise the details in each letter are relevant even if you're not engaged yourself. 👋 SAY HI 👋 You can find me on Instagram here (behind the scenes, personal storytelling). On YouTube here (longform and mini video advice columns). On Substack here (my writing and exclusive announcements...

I'm not a fan of reading my published writing months/years after it's been published, but I'm making an exception today. In this week's episode, I'm reading the first ever Hello Hayes column I ever wrote. Thanks for being here with me. Subscribe to my Substack here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Live from the east coast! This week I'm telling you about a lesson I learned on my recent flight from LAX to Boston (thx for teaching it, Brob). While this experience didn't cure my turbulence-related anxiety completely, it's getting me a little closer...and is also helping me reframe some other challenges in life. xx Hayes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode covers work friendships, the pitfalls of perfectionism, the merits of over-communication, what I wish I knew when I started working, how to have awkward conversations with work besties, and probably more. Who knows where this brain will go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch video on YouTube.] "My girlfriend and I have different relationships with our appearances, and social media is a part of that. We’re both girls in our early 20s and this is my first serious relationship. She loves to get dressed up and take photos and videos of herself to post, whereas I don’t really post selfies at all. What a silly thing to worry about, right? And yet, I find that I conti...

Watch this episode on YouTube. In this episode, Hayes celebrates getting her motivation back and shares the top 10 tips that have helped her this year. 👋 SUBMIT AN ADVICE LETTER 👋 Send your letters to Hayes at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Pro tip: Use "YouTube subscriber" in the subject line, plus a few words that describe your story. Like this: "YouTube subscriber + Why do I feel so sad a...

[Watch this episode on YouTube.] In this week's episode of the HELLO HAYES podcast, I answer an advice letter about how to deepen connections with new friends in a new city. Send me your letters at hellohayesadvice at gmail dot com. Listen to Carlye's podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/6aarIjhCYglA4gn8e1H2nl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Watch this episode on YouTube] Today I'm answering two letters from our community about feeling excluded: one takes place in a wedding (bridesmaid stuff), another in a group chat. I also give the full backstory on the Reese Witherspoon story I shared on my Instagram (@afhayes) last week, and why that moment feels so important for me. Listen to my conversation on The Bright Side here: https://open...

[video available on YouTube] Today on the pod I talk about turning 31 and unpack all the complicated and contradictory things I feel about my birthday. Then, around 15 minutes in, I do a rapid fire Q+A of some of YOUR questions about birthdays, including (but not limited to): Is it fair to expect my partner to throw me a birthday party? Why am I always disappointed even though I expect NOTHING on...

In this episode, Hayes writes a letter to IMPENDING 50-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN, who is in her mid-20s and feels embarrassed...about everything. We talk about shame and how to wrangle it, and model what a truly loving conversation with yourself feels like. Thanks for listening! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the show, for the very first time, Hayes sits down to get advice from her dear friend and author of NEW HAPPY, Stephanie Harrison. We talk about everything from how to support friends during a tough season of their life to Hayes's very personal (and hopefully relatable!) struggle with work. Pre-order Stephanie's book here. Follow The New Happy here. Follow Stephanie here. Learn more a...

In this week's episode, Hayes dives into a subset of emotions we're usually too ashamed to talk about: jealousy. And envy. Because apparently they're two different things?? Up until last week, Hayes was using the words synonymously...but not anymore. Hayes gets personal in this episode, sharing her contradicting feelings about her 2020 wedding to how her relationship with "beauty" has evolved over...

Hello Hayeselnuts! In this week's (shorter) episode, we're talking about money. Specifically...how to handle sensitive, awkward, and sometimes painful conversations about it. Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com Follow Hayes on Instagram and TikTok. Watch the episode on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[Video only on YouTube.] In this week's episode of Hello Hayes, we're talking about friendship break-ups: what leads to them, how we process them, and if we can prevent them from happening. Hayes explains the differences between friendship break-ups and friendship shifts, and why it's so important we understand the nuances of our feelings (and the situations that cause them!). Plus we set the reco...

In the first episode of 2024, Hayes answers three advice column submissions about feeling inadequate. In the first letter, we hear from someone who has yet to find a lasting love…all the relationships ended amicably, but they can't help but wonder if there’s something wrong with them? In the second letter, a high school student notices a change in their friendships, and asks me: how do I stop comp...

In today’s episode of Hello Hayes we’re talking about how romantic relationships can impact our friendships, for better….or for worse. We get a refresher on the often overlooked but essential archetype in the six bestie theory: the seasonal bestie. We learn from a single person and a partnered person, and even though we all come to this conversation from a different view point, I hope we leave it...

(VIDEO ONLY ON YOUTUBE) it's HOLIDAY SZN and with it comes a whole lotta feelings. who better to talk about them with than Hayes? (your therapist. your therapist is probably a good person to talk about them with, too.) in this episode of hello hayes, we hear from three letter writers who have specific concerns about the week ahead: there's a sister who's navigating a major conflict within her fami...

(VIDEO ONLY ON YOUTUBE) in our season one premiere of Hello Hayes, we hear from three letter writers who are all struggling in some way with expectations of their friendships. whether it's a close friend who doesn't talk about their *personal life* (ahem, i'm talking PERSONAL) or an old friend who doesn't seem as invested in the friendship, Hayes shows us how the six besties framework can help us...

starting tuesday, december 12, TikTok's favorite advice column Hello Hayes is finally available as a weekly podcast. each week, Hayes responds to three letters from the community of Hayeselnuts...these are the stories that are too complex for a 3-minute TikTok — they’re surpising, heart wrenching, and deeply human. video available on YouTube! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/ad...