Hello Dysfunction

Comedy EN ↓ 362 episodes

A raw and hilarious dive into current events, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, navigating mental illness, gossip, and the political dumpster fire we’re all forced to live in.

Author

Hello Dysfunction

Episodes

S1 Ep35: Wet n Wild 508 04.06.2019 1:45:38

Pata Fria can’t cry and has tattoo blisters, Crystal has an animal rescue foundation in her home, some mom talk and how to get fly in the 90’s. Enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep34: Ancestry Is Messy 30.05.2019 1:53:57

Episode 34 is here with a birthday recap, some dark family secrets, a medication update, what not to do in the post office, intuition vs anxiety and Crystal rescued more f*cking cats. Enjoy. Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep33: "I Murdered Alicia Keys" 21.05.2019 1:33:20

Episode 33 kicks off with a recap of Crystal's hectic week, a ghost joined the Dom session, weird sex laws, uncomfortable dreams and more. Enjoy. rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep32: DAD, DON'T COME IN 14.05.2019 1:36:17

The ladies return for episode 32 with a Mother's Day recap, the importance of being polite, some interesting news, technology is out of control, hygiene nightmares and a work story that involved some of moms miscellaneous items. Enjoy.

The Yee Yee Girls (bonus Episode) 09.05.2019 18:37

A Bonus Episode of Hello Dysfunction with Guest hosts the "Yee Yee girls"

S1 Ep31: Discussing Douches w Strangers 06.05.2019 2:01:46

Episode 31: After a brief hiatus the podcast returns with some dysfunctional family stories, the normalcy of anilingus, bad experiences w cops, a phallic playground, bloody cocktails and lots of listener questions Enjoy xo

S1 Ep30: Don't Masturbate To Death 23.04.2019 1:42:02

Episode 30 shows up with a bang. Literally. Some talk about how much April sucks, vaginal steaming bars, Crystal's new auntie tribe and the importance of tipping. Dont ask flight crews to do your dirty deeds, queens and princesses, overbearing moms and how Pata Fria's been spending her free time. Enjoy xo

S1 Ep29: I Like To Get Stretched 16.04.2019 1:42:42

After an interesting weekend episode 29 covers it all. Pata Fria had a panic, Crystal Barbie and family keep things interesting. Some info and details about kink life, sugar daddies are just older boyfriends, a few celebrity news stories, Planet Fitness does dirty biz, press on nails and listener questions. Enjoy xo

S1 Ep28: Funerals Should Be Funny 08.04.2019 2:01:40

This week a lot of subjects are covered. White privilege is definitely real, Pata Fria made it to Detroit, Crystal does a good deed, pay attention to signs the universe is sending you, put the car in park before you get out, unfortunate news, Fisting is popular, and loads of listener questions.

S1 Ep27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES?? 01.04.2019 1:52:34

Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person, STRONG animal love, sex workers tend to steal, Crystal doesn't eat food or wear panties, Pata Fria completely misunderstood an eBay ad, the latest MJ accusers might be some damn liars, be a good friend or you're outta here, keeping your relationship hiccups within your relations...

S1 Ep26: I Hate Babies 27.03.2019 1:27:01

It’s dysfunction as usual this week with another ER visit, soccer startup, Crystal’s new shoes and Pata Fria’s “recovery” to name a few. Abortion, some recent news, the importance of transparency and interesting bodily facts are also discussed. Listener questions and a few “would you rathers” are included to finish you off. Enjoy xo

S1 Ep25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body? 19.03.2019 1:35:58

This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to their younger selves, astronauts get a lot of herpes, some women really love dick pics, the French appreciate gross smells, can you really be yourself? and much more. Enjoy, xo

S1 Ep24: Would You Rather... 12.03.2019 1:37:17

This week episode 24 begins with some feelings about the weather, how we're not anti-pimp and calling men a bitch is a universal no no. Stevi handles business, strip club etiquette and a little talk about Michael Jackson is discussed. More paranormal activity, is makeup catfishing and some awesome listener questions are answered. Mostly. *Our views are our own and not always agreed upon lol... enj...

S1 Ep23: My Penis Was Crying Your Name 05.03.2019 1:37:38

This week’s episode begins with dreams, and spirt communication, discussion of the new MJ documentary, and Billy’s trip to Target for tampons. The ladies also share some info on interesting sex facts, Dubai showers, a begging Bay Area news anchor, and a hypothetical kidnapping. As always, enjoy.

S1 Ep22: Who Thought This Was A Good Idea 27.02.2019 2:17:11

This week we tried something new and had our producer Lev sit in. He won't be back. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep21: Stop Petting The Cat and Finish 19.02.2019 2:07:11

This week opens up with a Valentine's Day recap, some parental stress and a warning about Love Potion. Weird news, a 3D printable death chamber and interesting poop preferences are also shared. Some listener questions are answered followed by a disturbing dirty client story. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep20: Two for Twomp 12.02.2019 1:53:24

This week starts off w some celebrity drama, blackface fashion becoming an intentional trend, it's Black History Month, grey sweats are for bachelors only, pathological liars, Pata shares an unfortunate incident (trigger warning: a sexual assault is discussed), ending with a little porch surgery among friends. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunctio...

S1 Ep19: Everything Is Gay 05.02.2019 1:49:17

This week there's some talk about problematic celebrities, the beginning of Black History Month, our shitty government, how the internet really can be great, interesting animal facts, listener questions and a story about bikers undoing their pants. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray 29.01.2019 2:15:34

This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth control tips, war on sex workers, views on Future and Chris Brown, how to avoid being roofied, and why you should always double check your teeth before going to a dentist appointment. As always, enjoy. Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction T...

S1 Ep17: Are You International? 22.01.2019 1:42:39

This week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge to only steal from big corporations, listeners questions, a couple sleep walking stories and book yourself a Dom TKO ;) Instagram @Hellodysfunction...

S1 Ep16: So Fuckin Majestic 15.01.2019 1:42:27

The following are Rob's guy notes: 1. Range rover white girl curves 2. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3. Back page and cryptocurrency 4. Minimalism 5. Documentary disagreements 6. Sexworkers 7. Good karma moments 8. Government fuck ups 9. Face advice 10. Golden showers and rough sex 11. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12. Pata family crack rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfu...

S1 Ep16: So Fckin Majestic 15.01.2019 1:45:28

https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep15: Stay Outta The Creek 09.01.2019 1:50:43

Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

S1 Ep14: God's Well 01.01.2019 1:32:05

It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children. Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunc...

S1 Ep13: "Cheese Sandwiches" 25.12.2018 1:22:31

This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow