Hello Dysfunction

Crazy Xmas shopping and delivery delays, Crystal celebrates 14yrs w Mark, internet matchmaking, did Pata Fria finally cure her rash, cancel culture, trust your intuition, delicate familial subjects, save your skin after you die, and did a sweat shop make your outfit?  Enjoy  Betterhelp.com/Hello

Rainy days, kids know when you’re gay, celebrity tension, ‘tis the season for kindness, culture vultures, Crystal’s Animal Rescue is still in business, don’t share contact lenses and be nice to strangers that text you.  Enjoy xo

Live show recap, Billy was a joy, Apple is glitching our phones, kids shouldn’t give haircuts, foreplay is mandatory, possible potato crisis, signing up for Better Help, listener questions, I probably won’t let an animal get raped.  Enjoy xo BetterHelp.com/Hello

Vacation observations, don’t take your dog’s pills, poop forensics, respect other laws and cultures while visiting abroad, T.I. is still gross, Bezos’ latest donation, and don’t use my good paper towels.  Enjoy xo Sponsored by Betterhelp.com use code: Hello for 10% off  Betterhelp.com/Hello

Happy Anniversary.  This week’s episode was recorded live before a studio audience. Crystal revisits a childhood kidnapping. Would you paint your son’s nails? Don’t lock your customers inside the store. Shameful OCD subtypes. Men definitely fake orgasms.  

It’s National Kindness Day, is Rodney Reed a serial rapist? Dottie is leaking clear sh*t, there‘s actually a narcissism spectrum, don’t check anyone’s hymen and stop wasting paper towels. XO instagram/@hellodysfunction Facebook/hellodysfunction 

This week the girls periods are syncing in studio 54 with a Halloween recap, no one wants to get drunk and go to bed alone, an absent speculum, always check your tires, strange news and the first round of attendees drawn! Enjoy xo instagram/@hellodysfunction Facebook/hellodysfunction 

Don’t trust Crystal with your Mexican drug operation, the Bay Area has been going thru it, tell your callers when they’re on speakerphone, Kanye does gospel, the universe is being weird, Always removed a logo no one really cares about, don’t be racist for Halloween  Enjoy xo

Cringy words, Crystal has another damn cat, prepare your kids for sticky situations, yoni pearls, blood diapers, the joker, trauma makes you great and a few listener questions. Enjoy xo T-shirts & Sweatshirts Available at Hellodysfunction.com

Kids are difficult, tell your car you love it, the Joker hits home, planned electricity suspension scare, Pata Fria was in a low speed chase with the cops and lots of listener questions Enjoy xo 

The joys of getting old, Pata Fria is still a practicing doctor, true love of true crime, Amber Guyger is guilty, read more books and parenting woes.  Enjoy xo

Typical post break up transformation, Crystal got some new wheels, stranger’s awkward convos, everything is linked to parenting, unusual attractions and white privilege  Enjoy.

Pata Fria’s been getting artsy, Crystal is still car shopping, dreams and your memory are married, tarot readings coming soon, and don’t support shitty celebrities.  Enjoy.

Maria tried to scam Crystal, babies don’t have kneecaps, big fondue plans and an interesting “what if”... Enjoy 

Episode 46 “I Got Played” This week the girls return with some fun and not so fun announcements. Pata Fria is a newly single Grandma, Dottie is adjusting nicely, Crystal is collecting formal gowns for a great cause, Keto is scary and some listener questions are answered. Enjoy. 

This week the girls are back with lots of talk about Hawaii and the introduction of Dottie. Getting old sucks, weird dreams and lots of listener questions.  Enjoy.

Episode 44 starts off with Pata Fria manifesting a new pet and sharing her latest reading, unapproachable soccer moms, school shopping is a drag, the truly dark side of being an empath, drifting off your meds, dysfunctional event planning and don't get in trouble at work! 

This week is episode 43 and the girls discuss some unfortunate events. Always check your drivers license for fine print, brace yourself before entering the post office, download a vpn before watching snuff, and real friends make radio dedications.  Enjoy xo.

This episode focuses on a few odd subjects. Crystal's grandfather's feature in a book,  don't lose yourself in a relationship, is the zodiac international, the rapture is all a big set up, don't give the internet your info, and do let your friends teach you sexual acts.  Enjoy.

Episode 41 starts off with a LA vacation recap, Crystal makes a medical discovery, gentrification woes, movie suggestions, animal tales, kids say the darnedest things, loving all things gross, and a very creepy murder Enjoy xo

Episode 40 is back at you with an announcement of the new Facebook group "Hello Dysfunction, the meetup", hot girl summer with golden girl knees, how this show was born, Pata Fria reunites w her dad, Crystal needs to lock her doors, don't flirt with your son and boobs are sex toys.  Enjoy xo

Episode 39 is here after a week off...the girls describe their new room, another example why humans suck, some celebrity news, food made from science and some beauty tips  Enjoy.

Episode 38 kicks off with a birthday recap, grandma's having company, don't spoil your kids, bad hygiene is rude, our deplorable government, Reebok pumps and some interesting Q&A Enjoy. 

Episode 37 is here with some hippie hacks, trouble the kids have been into, Crystal’s grandfather is worse than we imagined, unknown neighborhood names, why it’s not always good to refer ppl, and Crystal reveals a shocking secret.

Pata Fria reveals a family secret, Crystal has a pleasant surprise while shopping, some film suggestions, what the bedroom is really for, Crystal loves talking to strangers and Pata Fria hates the heat. Enjoy Episode 36.