Hello Dysfunction

This week episode 24 begins with some feelings about the weather, how we're not anti-pimp and calling men a bitch is a universal no no. Stevi handles business, strip club etiquette and a little talk about Michael Jackson is discussed. More paranormal activity, is makeup catfishing and some awesome listener questions are answered. Mostly. *Our views are our own and not always agreed upon lol... enj...

This week’s episode begins with dreams, and spirt communication, discussion of the new MJ documentary, and Billy’s trip to Target for tampons. The ladies also share some info on interesting sex facts, Dubai showers, a begging Bay Area news anchor, and a hypothetical kidnapping. As always, enjoy.

This week we tried something new and had our producer Lev sit in. He won't be back. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

This week opens up with a Valentine's Day recap, some parental stress and a warning about Love Potion. Weird news, a 3D printable death chamber and interesting poop preferences are also shared. Some listener questions are answered followed by a disturbing dirty client story. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

This week starts off w some celebrity drama, blackface fashion becoming an intentional trend, it's Black History Month, grey sweats are for bachelors only, pathological liars, Pata shares an unfortunate incident (trigger warning: a sexual assault is discussed), ending with a little porch surgery among friends.  Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunctio...

This week there's some talk about problematic celebrities, the beginning of Black History Month, our shitty government, how the internet really can be great, interesting animal facts, listener questions and a story about bikers undoing their pants. Enjoy xo Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth control tips, war on sex workers, views on Future and Chris Brown, how to avoid being roofied, and why you should always double check your teeth before going to a dentist appointment. As always, enjoy. Rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction T...

This week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge to only steal from big corporations, listeners questions, a couple sleep walking stories and book yourself a Dom TKO ;) Instagram @Hellodysfunction...

The following are Rob's guy notes: 1. Range rover white girl curves 2. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3. Back page and cryptocurrency 4. Minimalism 5. Documentary disagreements 6. Sexworkers 7. Good karma moments 8. Government fuck ups 9. Face advice 10. Golden showers and rough sex 11. Billy's tomatoes weed plants got busted 12. Pata family crack rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfu...

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Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed children. Have a safe and happy new year. Don't drive drunk. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunc...

This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holidays xo   https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood snitching, and good ol' Florida also make an appearance this episode. As always, enjoy. PS- Pata Fria is still NOT a doctor. Instagram @Hellodysfunc...

This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata Fria's childhood antics, nail shop preferences, and gramma's "heart attack." This episode does require a trigger warning, as sexual assault is disc...

This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn vs. dom" reality, and as always, listener questions. Enjoy. 💦 Get your holiday t-shirt pack at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfun...

The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few funny stories. As always, enjoy. T-shirt holiday packs available at https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDys...

Crystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control.      "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s…. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

From chemtrails, to California fires, to Pata Fria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-love, and of course some more crying, lol. As always, enjoy.. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellod...

The dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sx dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting so listen up. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

It's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, scissoring, pegging, and the time Pata taught Crystal how to drive a stolen car. The girls take some listener questions, give a PSA about trunk junk, and close out with a Dom story. As always, dysfunction at it's finest. 😬🙏 Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysf...

This week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here, Halloween, ghost stories and superstitions. Later in the show they answer some listener questions, talk about male hygiene and a Dom story to finish you off 💦… enjoy. Subscribe to our mailing list for updates https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/Hell...

In this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled. They discuss mental health, why we (women) settle for the bare minimum, and the difference between pedophiles and cougars. https://hellodysfunctionpodcast.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysfunctionShow

This episode requires a trigger warning. Serious issues are discussed including domestic violence, SW safety, murder, and child abusers. The duo also touches on lighthearted subjects; The slut walk, favorite podcasts, birth charts, mental health, and a haunted house story that will definitely change the mood. Check for updates https://hellodysfunctionpodcast.com Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.fac...

For episode one, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie come out with a bang. The girls start off discussing Pata Fria's recent BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift), crazy Florida stories, the infamous purple taser, mental illness, medication and Crystal accidentally seeing her dad's package. They also go over Bill Cosby, bullies, raunchy stories and receiving electronics from family members that still contain pics. C...