HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

What do you do, when your 15 year old son, turns even a  simple request  into an  argument ? Before we get to the question we're answering today, I want to acknowledge the  unbelievably difficult time  we're in. Between COVID-19 and the limitations it's placing on our lives and the havoc it's wreaking on the economy and the latest evidence of gross police brutality against Blacks, and the divisive...

What do you do when your teenage daughter  abuses  everyone in the family and puts herself at  serious risk ? This week, I answer a question from a mom who is in a very dire situation with her teenage daughter. Her daughter, who is the oldest of four, is abusing everyone in the family and makes for a very uncomfortable living situation. No matter what Mom does, nothing seems to be working and she'...

What do you do when your teenage daughter comes home from school one day and, says,  "Don't call me Janet. I'm a boy and my name is Jack" ? This week, I answer a question from a psychiatrist who has had a handful of parents come to her sharing that their child has revealed they are transgendered. She sought out my advice on how to work with these parents and families. Listen in for:  Why coming ou...

What do you do when your autistic teenager  wants to help  anyone who comes up to him,  breaking  social distancing and putting himself  at risk ? This week, I answer a question from a mom who taught her son  to be kind and generous . With the current pandemic, Mom is  struggling  to get her autistic son to understand why he  can't help  everyone and to keep himself safe. Listen in for:  How to te...

Given the current pandemic, counselors and counseling agencies are using  video platforms  rather than seeing clients in the office. But, is video counseling a  less pleasant, compromised   experience ? For many years now, in addition to seeing folks in my office, I've been seeing people all over the US, Canada, Europe, and beyond. This week on the podcast, I share how video conferencing  can be b...

What do you do, when your 12-year-old son has an  undiagnosed neurological disorder  that causes him to be angry, hostile, and has everyone in the household  walking on eggshells ? Today, we answer a question from a dad who is feeling  defeated  after trying everything he can think of to resolve the issue. Listen in for:  Understanding why humans thrive in a safe environment  The biology behind Co...

What do you do when your daughter is  hostile  towards you and blames you for keeping her from her father? This week, I answer a question from a mom who is  undermined  by her ex-husband causing a  strained relationship  with her nine-year-old daughter. Listen in for:  How to recognize and accept  different temperaments  in your children Ways to make your difficult child feel  loved and supported...

What do you do when your teenage son, who is a talented athlete, handsome, and popular with friends, has turned hostile  and taken up drugs and vaping? This week, we answer a question from a concerned father who is feeling  frustrated  with his son and doesn't know  what steps to take next. Listen in for:  Signs of  ineffective accountability  in the home How to  set an example  for your kids to ...

With children, teens, and young adults out of school and home with their families, parents are facing  unprecedented challenges . This week, I answer a question from a mom who is dealing with her son's angry and oppositional behavior that is affecting the entire family.  Listen in for:  Effective strategies  teachers use that you can implement at home The power of  changing the tone  in your house...

We're facing a difficult time right now. Many parents are wondering how best to get their teenagers to understand our current climate without instilling fear and worry. Today, I answer a question from a mom whose teenage daughter is treating her school closure like a vacation and expects to be able to hang out with friends. Listen in for:  Tips on setting limits during this time How we can make ou...

What do you do when you when your teenager  suddenly  goes from being close with Mom and Dad to exhibiting  destructive behavior and a disrespectful attitude ? Today, I answer a question from a mom whose 15-year-old daughter's behavior has been  spiraling  and she doesn't know  what to do next. Listen in for:  The delicate journey teenagers take, especially at age 15 The importance of self-esteem...

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a single mother of four, and the oldest and youngest have a contemptuous relationship. She has tried to deal with it but her interventions have been unsuccessful and she's wondering what if anything more she should do. Neil offers some approaches to family healing but most importantly, wants to empower this Mom to have her standards and values in th...

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom struggling to limit her daughters' cell phone use. She is frustrated that they always have a reason to have them since the cell phones serve so many functions. Neil explains the many documented down sides and risk factors from smart phone overuse and misuse and offers guidelines and a way to talk with teens to establish them. Have a question for Neil? Submit...

n this episode Neil responds to a Mom whose 18 year-old daughter has anger issues and is refusing to follow advice and go to counseling. Neil explains to Mom in explicit detail why sending her daughter for individual counseling will change very little and why and how going to counseling as a family will provide a healthy direction and hope for real change. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now f...

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom wanting to implement a New Year's Resolution in her family, that they demonstrate an attitude of kindness. She knows what she wants, but doesn't know how to get through to the others. Neil applauds the goal and speaks to the virtues of goal setting, and then moves to help this Mom create a strategy to accomplish it. Neil helps Mom see how her default way of d...

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad who has shared custody with an X-partner who is extremely emotionally unstable. He wants to know how having an emotionally unstable parent will affect his daughter and how to respond to her questions about her mother, without turning her against her mother. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connec...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother who has a 13-year-old daughter who refuses to go to counseling and won't talk if made to go. Mother is trying to do the right thing for her daughter, but her daughter simply won't cooperate. After attempts with several therapists, Mom feels frustrated and helpless. Neil helps Mom see that her daughter's refusal to cooperate with therapy, is lik...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother who has a 13-year-old daughter who refuses to go to counseling and won't talk if made to go. Mother is trying to do the right thing for her daughter, but her daughter simply won't cooperate. After attempts with several therapists, Mom feels frustrated and helpless. Neil helps Mom see that her daughter's refusal to cooperate with therapy, is lik...

In this episode Neil discusses the challenges young adults face in today's world with international psychologist and placement specialist, Dr. Mark Burdick. The challenges young adults are facing today are more pronounced than ever. Neil and Mark discuss these challenges, some tips for successfully preparing youth for young adulthood and the opportunities that wilderness and residential treatment...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother who has a 16-year-old son with anxiety and depression. She is at her wits end because he won't use the skills that the professionals have given him and he uses his condition as an excuse to miss school. The doctor said there's nothing he can do if her son won't help himself. Neil explains that anxiety and depression are like many other conditio...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother who sees her husband and their 9 year-old son building a power struggle over homework. Mom explains that Dad is a high achiever and very studious and wants to pass that on to his son. Neil helps Mom understand what might be driving her husband's approach and offers a way to clarify their goals and values and even help Dad feel better about hims...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother whose has a young adult living at home who is violent if she sets limits. Neil speaks to the importance of involving both the law enforcement and mental health communities to insure safety and treatment. Neil emphasizes that treatment will need to include changing the dynamic at home or any treatment that this special needs young adult receives...

In this episode Neil answers a question from a mother whose teen daughter doesn't want to go back and forth to between Mom and Dad and just wants to live at Mom's. Dad wants Mom to give her consequences and make her go. Neil offers perspective on divorce, shared custody with teens, and how to put the emphasis on communication and connection. Neil asks Mom to step up and lead in the area of emotion...