Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

Is This Misconception Sabotaging Your Healing? In the early days of my healing, I would try tools, concepts, approaches, and practices in hopes they would change things in my relationships, life, or solve my problems. I felt frustrated, discouragement, and even resentment when this didn't happen.   This is due to a misunderstanding of what healing is really about and what the tools are actual...

Pain Not Healing? Try These 3 Things Healing one's pain is a difficult, nebulous concept until we start to actually get *experience* with it.  This makes healing a bit of a catch-22. I've found that there are usually three habits that are keeping the pain locked in a loop in your body, perpetuating it's cycle. Once you can identify which of these is happening in your relationship to...

The Important And Necessary Step Of Being Open And Available Being open and available enables your deepest healing and reconnection to yourself to emerge and become your normal.  This allows you to be able to receive and contribute in a holistic, genuine away far outside the transactional, survival nature of codependency and narcissistic systems. Listen today to learn why openness is essential and...

Isn't It Time To Stop Fixing Yourself And Start Knowing Yourself Instead? I discuss the importance between fixing yourself (something is broken in who I am) and knowing yourself (what is this trying to do for me?) when it comes to our behaviors, codependency, and becoming ourselves. **** Join my communities here: https://links.freetheself.com Discover the 3 Secrets To Healing Codependency Per...

Healing happens in waves, stripping away layers of programming, bringing in deeper levels of sobriety. This can be intense. I'm going to share with you how I navigate this cycle so it creates more peace, keeps you in your capacity, and allows you to integrate your discoveries with care, honesty, and commitment. *** Want to learn more about thriving beyond your codependency?  Take my free work...

Got Capacity? This one element is central to your peace, healing, and freedom Today we discover the central element that determines how fast we heal, how safe we feel in relationships, and even how emotionally available we are. It gives life to our boundaries and directs us in our lives. Not knowing this central element leaves us feeling lost, burned out, and enmeshed with others. Discover this ce...

Your Sense Of Emotional Safety Depends On This... Feeling safe emotionally requires that we are able to access, acknowledge, and receive whatever is present for us emotionally. More specifically, your pain. In today's episode, I show you how to do this and what results it gives us when we do this. *** Enrollment closes this week for FOUNDATION!  Get the details and enroll here: https://founda...

What Does It Mean To Belong? We need a sense of connection, inclusion, and belonging with others and ourselves.  When this is not present, we are vulnerable to exploitation, to chasing unavailable relationships, and languishing in loneliness.   Further, if we do not belong to ourselves, we do not get to define who we want to be and utilize our time, energy, and resources for creating what we value...

Self-Worth Sets You Free Codependency has us sourcing our worth from outside ourselves.  We chase it through approval and by avoiding rejection.  We cultivate it through pleasing others, being perfect, and trying to prove our worth. And we lose ourselves when the other rejects us, discards us, or feels disappointed in us for whatever reason. Your freedom, peace, and self-love depend on you unblend...

Do You Have Emotional Safety? Our body needs to feel safe before it can advocate for itself. Specifically, it needs to feel safe enough to acknowledge and value it's own emotions and experiences so it can know what to advocate for. Codependency attempts to create this safety by pleasing others and/or being perfect. Liberating ourselves from codependency requries us to develop new means for em...

Codependency is a reaction to unsafe, unreliable relationships.  It required us to give up ourselves to secure three specific needs.  This episode dives into these three needs, the biological cause of codependency, and the essential nature of resourcing and nurturing these 3 needs in specific ways to activate our advocacy response. Discover this key knowledge and begin the journey of experiencing...

For 15 years, I was focused on resolving my "mental blocks". This idea that something in me was blocking my abundance, my relationships, my love, my healing, was scary yet very tantilizing. It gave me a thing to blame, a thing to target, and a thing to fix.   And yet, to this day, I have never resolved one single mental block. Why? Because mental blocks are not real. What, Marshall?  WHA...

Ever feel confused, flustered, and then suddenly anxious after someone is nice, kind or caring towards you? Do you feel the tension of negative anticipation building, like waiting for the "other shoe to drop"? This reaction tells the story of how unreliable and unstable kindness has been for you in the past.  It boldly shares the experience of kindness being followed up with some kind of...

Codependency causes us to seek love, belonging, value, and safety outside ourselves.  This happens because we've experienced profound rejections of ourselves that caused us to distrust and fear ourselves. This resulted in a low availability for ourselves and maxxed out availability for others. This leads us into deep states of feeling unlovable, drained, isolated, and burned out. Learn what t...

Let's talk about trust in the work of healing from rejection trauma and codependency, specifically trusting yourself. What does it mean to trust yourself? In my work, trusting yourself means you regard your interpretations, senses, choices, and actions to be the best-at-that-moment options. This means that mistakes or errors are also trusted because they reveal more clarity and help you refin...

Fear drives much of our behaviors, keeps us stuck in loops of trying to escape it, and tends to cause us to believe that most of life is scary. This is understandable, considering you've lived through very scary events and patterns.   Learn today what fear is trying to do for you and how to soothe it and use it to your well-being. *** The 2024 Freedom After Codependency Promotion Is Happening...

5 Things I Do When Things Get Discouraging Discouragement is a real, valid part of the work of healing and growing towards things we value. It happens often when when outcomes aren't happening as we're hoping and working for. It happens when our resources start to run low and we're dealing with big uncertainties. It happens when we've been doing big, hard work and not seeing th...

Ask Marshall: How Do I Trust Myself and Believe Myself More? Belief and trust in ourselves was our first natural state.  We were born naturally trusting our own senses, impulses, and experiences. Self-doubt was introduced into our thinking through the reactions of others - namely shaming, questioning, criticizing behaviors, or being dismissed or ignored in what we were sharing. When others did not...

*** Tired of being stuck, lost, and hopeless in your efforts to actually heal and experience real peace, freedom, and progress in your life?  Join my on-demand workshop, The 3 Secrets To Healing Codependency Permanently and discover how to unlock your natural ability to heal your codependency and thrive in confidence, peace, and freedom.  Click here: https://3sworkshop.freetheself.com Join my emai...

Essentials: Are You Blended Or Solid In Your Sense of Self? The fawn response focuses our mind and awareness outside ourselves.  In my work, I call this the External Orientation.  This means we're interpreting our reality through the lens of other people, places, or things.  We are not associated with ourselves and not processing reality through our own perception and lived experience. This o...

Essentials: Reclaim Yourself From Enmeshment Through Connecting To Your Innate Sovereignty Codependency externalizes our sense of authority, personhood, worth, and experience.  It outsources these factors to people we feel connected to and dependent on for our sense of being real, being worthy, being lovable, and being "allowed". In other words, the fawn response that drives codependent...

Why Do I Push People Away? This is a potent question, and has many possible answers. It is one I explore myself.  "Why do I push away people that like me?  That love me?" Or "Why do I push away success? Praise? Recognition?" This is a nearly universal reaction for people who've been neglected, been harmed, or abused. Sometimes we think it is about love, or about worthiness...

Do I Matter?  How To Cultivate A Sense Of Mattering Having a sense of mattering to others and to yourself is crucial for well-being and belonging. It is one of our core needs. In this episode, learn what really needs to matter first in the case of healing codependency and how to start fostering that with yourself. *** Join my email community to get access to more episodes, tools, my writings, and...

Are You Knowing Your Pain, Or Ignoring Your Pain? Pain is the most neglected, denied, and avoided aspect of our lived experience.  It is also the gateway into actually feeling known, loved, seen, and valued - by ourselves and by others.  Today, I speak on this, its vital importance to our freedom from codependency, and how to begin nurturing care and knowing of your pain. *** Join my email communi...

What Replaces Codependency As You Heal? Codependency is a strategy the body creates in order to preserve a sense of safety, connection, and self-worth within a chaotic, unsafe, unreliable relationship. The sense of danger the relationship creates for the individual activates the body's natural fawning response (aka the please-and-appease response), prompting the person to do things that make...