Heal from Infidelity: Reclaiming Your Peace, Power, and Self-Trust After Betrayal

A question I get asked a lot is, "Will it always hurt?" For most people, infidelity is one of life's experiences that can shake up your very foundation. It can be hard to imagine a time when it doesn't hurt every day. In this episode, I share not only the good news that you won't always hurt, but steps to take to make sure you don't. Your healing does not have to be outsourced to anyone but you --...

When you think of the future, do you feel a sense of foreboding, or hope? Much of what you anticipate can be traced to past, unresolved experiences with your partner. In this episode, you'll learn what probably happened and didn't happen before the infidelity that is creating problems now. Once you understand what is happening and what you can do about it, you'll be able to choose how to view the...

After infidelity, it can be really easy to feel like your spouse owes you something. He needs to make it up to you, right? It makes sense that one might feel this way, but in this episode you'll learn how this attitude can keep you from the very things you want most - peace, calm, and healing. Entitlement is also what can set some people up to cheat in the first place and keep them stuck after inf...

Validation is something we all enjoy as humans. We want to feel connected, heard, and seen. For many of us though, especially if we were shot down a lot as kids, we grow into validation dependence and have difficulty functioning if someone is not constantly telling us how great or right we are. In this episode, you'll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy validation, how to spot it in...

Some questions that come up a lot with clients is, "What about sex after finding out? Is it bad to be intimate? What if I don't want to? What if I do?" To answer these questions, I interviewed sex coach Amanda Louder. Amanda Louder is a Certified Life Coach who helps women from conservative Christian backgrounds love their sex life. She helps women embrace their sexuality to help them strengthen t...

A question I get asked regularly is about letting go - how to let go of the pain and hurt of infidelity. In this episode, I will cover things we hold on to, why we hold onto them, and how to let them go. You'll learn how your brain is trying to protect you from future harm and what to do to quiet it down. Infidelity can be trauma-inducing, and the more you understand the ways this shows up for you...

Shame. An emotion we all feel but no one wants to talk about. It's heavy, all-consuming, and keeps us isolated and stuck. This episode is all about letting go of shame. First, you'll learn about the origins of shame and how it often pretends to be useful. You'll learn how shame sabotages our efforts to heal and doesn't allow us to see things as they really are. Want to know what the cure is to sha...

In the aftermath of infidelity, there can be a period where you wait and watch. Sometimes there is waiting to see how much initiative our partners take, and sometimes we are just waiting to feel calmer before we make big decisions. Either way, there are things you can do to help settle your mind during this space. In this episode, you'll learn four things you can do during this time to help keep y...

Do you ever wonder if you can ever really truly move forward from the darkness you are feeling? A question I get a lot is, "Can I really do this?" and "Will I ever feel normal again?" Yes, my friend. I promise. In this episode, you'll hear the stories of four past clients of mine who have moved forward and are thriving. Some stayed in the marriage, some did not. But all are happy and doing well. T...

One thing I hear all the time from my clients is that they struggle with comparing themselves to their spouse's affair partner. It can get to the point where they can't be in public with their spouse because they worry so much about what the spouse may be thinking about other women they see. It can be crippling. In this episode, you'll learn why we compare, and how you can help yourself navigate i...

Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, "They look so happy and in love," only to find out that they had major problems and were going through divorce? It is likely that couple was engaged in a "polite" marriage. They may check all the boxes and genuinely look very happy together. They may show each other public affection and seem fond of each other. But there are likely issues underneath. I...

Do you wonder if you are settling in your relationship? Do you feel shame and guilt when you think about it? In this episode, I clear up what it means to settle and help you drop any negative feelings around the idea. In real examples, you'll be able to recognize if you have some things to shake up or if your job is to just keep going exactly as you are and keep trusting the process. Rather than l...

Do you ever cover up how you feel and what you are thinking? This is called mind masking, and we all do it. In this episode, we'll dive in to why we all lie, either my commission or omission. But some lies can be more blatant, deliberate and harmful than others. As deceit is a part of infidelity, understanding it is important. You'll also learn areas you may not be being completely honest in. Last...

For many of us it is easy to give, but harder to receive. Why is this? In this week's episode you'll get an inside look into your brain and why you resist love and other good things. Hint: It is because of your thoughts about you, thoughts about others, or beliefs of how the world works. Want to know how to become more open to love? And how it is hurting you not to be open to it? Make sure to give...

In this episode, I interview special guest Ashlee Boyson. Ashlee Boyson is the author of the blog and book series titled "The Moments We Stand," in which she shares her family's journey of healing after the infidelity and murder of her husband Emmett in 2011, just months after giving birth to their fifth baby. Ashlee has been given the unique experience of sharing Emmett's story on Dateline, Dr. P...

Do you ever get frustrated that you are not further along than you think you should be? Do you have moments where you feel like you are back at square one? While this is all normal, in this episode I will teach you about "the messy middle," the space between where you are and where you are going. This space can feel very uncomfortable, frustrating, and like you are taking a step backwards. Listen...

Do you have thoughts that you can't seem to keep at bay? You are just going about your day, and something comes to mind that you can't stop thinking about? Then you need to go ask, or go look at phones, emails and messages on a frantic search for answers. Sound familiar? Although this is very common, it can be a setback to healing and moving forward. In this episode you will learn the difference b...

As common as hearing about mental strength may be, we don't often hear about it in reference to infidelity. We talk a lot about feelings, healing, forgiveness, and moving on. But where does mental strength come in? Developing mental toughness is everything when it comes to infidelity. When we get hurt, our brains want to keep us safe from future pain by giving us all the warnings of any real or pe...

In the aftermath of infidelity, relationships often change. While there are many reasons for this, it can be painful and lonely. We are all wired for connection - we seek and crave it, yet it can seem harder than ever to make solid friendships. In this episode, I interview guest Jewel Hohman about the importance of friendship and some practical ways of developing new relationships that last. Jewel...

It is human nature to see faults in others, and much more difficult to see it in ourselves. In this episode, I'll teach you why self-confrontation is an essential ingredient to growth, intimacy and healing. We can ask others to tell us what we want to hear, but it does not promote real growth. Self-confrontation allows us to see ourselves as we really are rather than what we want to see. Even thou...

To show up as our best selves in any relationship, we must know how to calm ourselves down when emotions become overwhelming. Many of us have been taught that it is the responsibility of our partner to help calm us when in reality, it is our own. In this episode, we'll go in deep as to why learning how to self-soothe ultimately is the greatest gift you can give yourself as you navigate infidelity...

In every relationship there will be issues that one of you will care more about than the other. This is normal. Where we get ourselves in trouble is when we get into marital gridlock and stay in it. In this episode, I will cover various ways high desire/ low desire shows up in marriage and other relationships and why we respond the way we do to our loved ones. When we understand our reactions bett...

Do you have moments (or days, or weeks) where you feel small, invisible and not at all like "yourself?" As flawed humans, it can be very easy to lose ourselves when faced with conflict yet learning the art of holding onto ourselves is what will help us move forward the most. In this episode, you'll learn what it means to hold on to yourself and why this is a game-changer for healing relationships....

Every relationship has moments in time that make all the difference in which way the relationship goes. We either show up for ourselves or we don't. We show up for our spouse or we don't, and the consequences can be monumental. In this episode, you'll learn about "Sliding Door Moments" and how these small snippets in time often determine the direction of our lives. Once we can identify what those...

On the healing journey following infidelity, it can feel like you are not making any progress at all. It can be discouraging, overwhelming and downright depressing at times. So how do you know if you are progressing? Unlike other goals we make like losing pounds, earning a certain amount of money, etc. the healing process is less straight-forward to measure. In this episode, you'll learn 3 ways to...