Heal from Infidelity: Reclaiming Your Peace, Power, and Self-Trust After Betrayal

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? These are the ones that pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, and can derail your whole day. In this episode, I cover where these thoughts come from, and how to process them so they no longer have a hold on you. You will learn a strategy that will: Help you bring more awareness to the thought  Give you direction as to what to do with it (so you are in charge of...

What happens when something you believed as true is challenged? Or when you make up your mind about something and immediately doubt it? Does it mean you made the wrong decision, or is something else happening? In this episode, you'll learn all about cognitive dissonance and how it is an indication that something is out of alignment for you. It may be that your beliefs need to be reevaluated or exp...

After infidelity, the decision needs to be made whether to stay or go. But for most people, that is only half the decision. Many people go through life being physically in a relationship but emotionally out. Some leave marriages physically but cannot separate themselves emotionally from their spouse, so they don't really move on. In this episode, I help you identify exactly where you are in your p...

When you think of yourself, do you identify more with being someone who has been traumatized, or as someone who is incredibly resilient, despite your trauma? Humans all experience trauma. It is inescapable. But what we forget is that as humans we are built to be resilient, and to rise above our trauma- not get stuck in it. In this episode, you'll learn how to create more resiliency as you navigate...

Most of us understand the importance and significance of courage. It is an emotion that can help us to look at hard things in our lives. But if we are unwilling to take action based on our feeling of courage, we end up right where we started. In this episode, I share some ideas pertaining to infidelity about some of the ways we need to not only have courage, but to turn that courage into action to...

How much pressure do you put on yourself to "Keep the Peace"? Maybe there are things you don't say because you don't want to create conflict. Maybe you just stuff things down rather than speak up and make others uncomfortable. In this episode, I discuss the concept of keeping the peace and where it often backfires. What if there is something better than keeping the peace? What if protecting your o...

In the aftermath of infidelity, it can feel like your life has been blown up, and our spouse sometimes does not seem to understand how much their choices impacted us. This episode discusses the importance of knowing that our spouse "gets it" in order to really move forward and build trust. I also discuss growing our capacity to look at ourselves and how the things we say and do affect others. Soli...

In this episode, I welcome guest and self-advocacy expert, Samantha Nielsen to the show. If you have ever struggled in knowing how to speak up for yourself, this episode is for you. Samantha shares her own experience with watching herself shrink and be miserable until it became unbearable. She had an amazing transformation and completely changed her life. More about Samantha: Samantha is the happi...

Do you often wonder how you'll know the difference between a truth and a lie? It is a common question after infidelity, since the very nature of infidelity includes deceit. In this episode, I share a powerful analogy that will help you discern for yourself between truth and error. You will come away from this episode wiser, more in tune with your own truth, and with a higher commitment to seeking...

In this lost and found episode, I share a story of recently losing my child in Disneyland and some profound lessons that came from that. I came away from that experience recognizing clearer than ever that we are not meant to do life alone, especially the hard part. In an intense situation, helpers came. Kindness was shown. I want this for you, too, as you navigate feeling lost in infidelity. Want...

In this episode, you'll learn how grandiosity can lead to affairs. If we think we are better than others, we tend to excuse our behavior and make exceptions for ourselves. You'll learn what grandiosity is and how it can show up for the betrayed partner as well as the one who betrayed. You'll have a clear understanding of how the mindset of grandiosity gets in the way of real transparency, connecti...

Are there things in your life you want to change? Do you want your spouse to change? In this episode, you will learn the fast-track to how to really, deeply, fundamentally change. Instead of just believing that you can't change or that you are simply a failure in aspects of your life, you'll understand why change has not "stuck" in the past, and how to move forward in becoming who you want to be....

There is a lot of discussion about infidelity, but what about fidelity? What does it even look like to live in a high fidelity marriage? In this episode you will learn about five elements that have to be present to have a high fidelity marriage. Even if you have already experienced infidelity, fidelity can be learned. It can become your new reality, and it begins with becoming 100% faithful to you...

One of the main questions we have after experiencing infidelity is, "How do I know it won't happen again?" In this episode, I teach about risk as being inherent in relationships and how to avoid taking risks with an unlikely return on investment. You'll learn what questions to ask yourself to gauge just how much risk you are taking, and when it is wise to go all in. Risk IS inherent in any relatio...

Have you ever wondered if what you experienced is infidelity? For some situations, there is no doubt. But for many others, there is a lot of nuance. In this episode, you'll learn exactly what infidelity is. When you have the words to define your experience, it is empowering. You are able to see more clearly why your experience felt like a violation, and what to do with that information. As the say...

Often times, in an attempt to avoid temporary pain and discomfort, we avoid hard conversations, stuff down our own feelings and hide how we really feel from others.  In this episode, you'll learn about how to create long term healing by practicing the concept of sustainability. By looking down the road at what we may have to deal with if we put things off today, it can give us the courage to do th...

This episode is all about why we excuse bad behavior. Whether it be from our kids, spouse, co-workers, boss, etc., there are reasons we allow people to treat us the way they do. When you know what to look for and how to deal with the discomfort of teaching people how to treat you, life gets a whole lot easier. Most of us are conflict-averse and put up with behaviors that aren't helping anybody. Yo...

2022 was one for the books for me personally. I started the year with a new baby, launched a new program, and grew in ways I didn't know I needed. In this episode, I share my biggest lesson from the year: one that, when practiced, can bring relief and peace even in the midst of uncertainty and discomfort. The lesson is around the concept of duality: The ability to hold onto two opposing views at t...

In a world that praises extreme independence, many of us don't know how to help each other calm our nervous systems. We may even think it is co-dependence to try to help each other in this way. In this week's episode, we will take a deep dive into what it actually means to co-regulate, and how it can bring deep healing. We will also take a look at how our parents help us to learn how to settle our...

In my years of coaching, one thing I have heard too many times to count is, "I don't like conflict." My clients use this as a reason to not take bold action, not speak the things that need to be said, and ultimately to hide from discomfort. In this episode, I cover conflict with a new lens; one that helps my clients lose their fear about stepping into conflict with the intention of getting to the...

For many people, D-day, or discovery day (the day they found out about their spouse's infidelity) is a heavy, traumatic day. When they have the anniversary of that day coming up, it can fill them with dread. In this episode, I'll be sharing ways to think about discovery day that can bring relief, and even hope. It does not have to be an awful day. It can be a day with some emotion as you remember...

Resentment. This is an emotion I see in almost all of my clients, whether they be the one who was betrayed or the one who did the betraying. While it is a common emotion that many of us struggle with, it can be deadly if left unchecked. In this episode, I'll cover where resentment comes from and why it can be so tempting to hold on to it. You will hear real life examples of clients I work with who...

Many would agree that infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences to endure. In this episode, rather than taking that statement at its word, I dive into the impact of infidelity and the ways it affects us. Just like all things in life, there are some things that are out of control, and some that are very much in our control. Even with infidelity, there is much that we can choose. We can...

In this episode, I interview Luke Schillings about his personal experience with experiencing and healing from infidelity. He has used his own painful experience to now work with men who are navigating that space. Listen for some amazing wisdom of how to let go, heal, and move on. Luke is a 40 something father of two who recently escaped the 9-5 to chase his dreams of becoming a relationship and in...

To celebrate 100 episodes, tune in to hear snippets from the top 5 episodes thus far. You, my dear listeners, have been a delight to show up for, and I want you to know which episodes have been the most listened to. You may just learn that others are right where you are, and that you are not alone in struggling with the same things. Thank you for your love, support, shares, and reviews. Here's to...