Having It A.L.L.

What is the quality of your life right now? In today's episode I'm sharing with you 8 key areas of life you want to take a look at periodically to assess the overall quality of your life. This episode is inspired by fellow greatness seeker, Lewis Howes. It was on his Instagram page that I saw him post about these 8 areas, and it moved me to share it with you all. Here is the original IG post from...

Did you know that letting go in life is a choice? Yes, it’s moment-to-moment choice where you decided whether you will release what you’ve been fixating on, or add to your fixation. Many of us can get down with the idea of “letting go”, but we fail to realize that it’s a constant choice that we must make again and again through our days, weeks, months, years. We falsely believe that we can “let go...

Are you practicing sexual healing? So many different things can come up when we think about sexual healing. From healing past traumas to healing physical conditions to Marvin Gaye (seriously, that was my entire context until a number of years ago) -- we each have our own relationship when it comes to healing things in a sexual context. In today's episode I'm joined by my incredible wife, Sarah Biv...

Where do you spend most of your emotional time and energy: in things you can influence or in things you have zero control over? If you're a proactive person who takes response-ability for their lives, then you absolutely focus on the things you can influence. Reactive people spend their time focusing on things that they have zero control over. The difference between circle of influence and circle...

What does being proactive mean to you? I would say "It means taking initiative". But I have learned that to Be Proactive means so much more. And understanding this meaning is imperative if you want to have it all and lead an abundant loving life. In today's episode I bring in one of my favorite books, Stephen Covey's 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. Get ready to get your learnin on! Learn more...

When do you apologize for something you've done? When is it appropriate to come clean in a situation, versus letting things go and moving on? In today's episode I'm replying to a listener message about knowing when to come clean, clear the air or let it go. This is such a common thing for all of us, and my intention is to give some perspective on fully owning your decisions. Learn more about your...

If you were to take an audit of the environments you spend most of your time in, would you say that they uplift you, do nothing for you, or drag you down? In today's episode I explore environments and talk about why it's so important that we are picky with the people and places we surround ourselves with. I also give you a few action items for taking a hard look at your environments and making som...

How do you like to be loved? How does your partner prefer to be loved? Are they loving you in the style in which you like to be loved, and vice versa? Today I'm sharing my favorite tool for creating a powerful relationship, and I'm taking up a notch by showing you how Sarah and I have turned the 5 Love Languages into a much more powerful tool for building our amazing relationship. Oh, and are you...

Be real with yourself: are you waiting for someone or something outside of yourself, to come and give you the life that you desire? At any level? Today's episode is a deep look into my own beliefs that have been keeping at a certain place in my life. I'm sharing a raw audio, recorded in my car as an epiphany was washing over me. *EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT* The new TRUST Challenge is here! Join us as w...

What does "having it all" mean to you? It's a question I have asked so many people on this podcast. And I've received so many unique answers. Well, today I'm bringing you an interview/conversation with the man who helped me develop that question (and this very podcast), and who has been an incredible influence in my life -- Day Adeogba. We go wide and deep on this one, and I promise you'll underst...

When you think about sex, what is the goal for you? Is it to have an orgasm, or to make sure your partner has one? Is it to show your partner how much you love them and to validate your relationship? For most of my life, the goal of sex was orgasm. But there are other goals of sex that can create a much more powerful, loving and connected experience. Today I'm diving into the goal of sex and am se...

As your responsibilities go up (new children, new job, more lovers), is your capacity to handle these new responsibilities going up as well? For most, the answer is something like "I don't even think about my capacity when I take on new life stressors". And if that sounds like you, then this episode will help you become aware of your current capacity and will give you very actionable steps to rais...

How do you bounce back when your world gets rocked? When everything seems to be going wrong in your life? When your dreams are shattered? In today's episode I share with you what inspired me to jump off the couch, grab my mic, and record this very podcast! Also, check out the Life By Design, Not By Default Virtual Summit where I'm speaking about love, relationships and sex. Here's the website: htt...

What is a moment or experience that completely transformed who you were as a person? For me the biggest one was experiencing the birth of my daughter, Maya. Today is Maya's 2nd birthday (September 11, 2018), and on this special day I wanted to do something different on the podcast. So I'm sharing the story of her birth, from the early signs that Sarah and I realized labor was starting, to when we...

What is something that you've always wanted to do, but you know you've let fear and discomfort hold you back? It's the first week of September, and that means Fall is officially here. You've been putting in deposits into your tank for a while now, and now it's time for you to act. In today's episode I'm setting up a context for getting into action to do things you've been afraid to do, to experien...

What does surrender mean to you? When I started working with a coach I would hear the word "surrender" a lot. I had a hard time with that word, because for a long time "surrender" was a word of weakness and giving up. Today my context around surrender is much different, and I use the word all the time. In this episode I want to give you an alternative context for "surrender" that can empower you a...

When was the last time you intentionally created time for you to check out and recharge? Last week I talked about balance and gave you a different way to think about the elusive work-life balance. Well today, I'm putting it into practice! Sarah and I decided to take an impromptu vacation. We were feeling the impact of going hard for the last few months, and recognized we needed a break. Learn more...

How are you currently experiencing life? I'm not talking about the results you're creating. I'm talking about your EXPERIENCE of it all. In today's episode I'm digging into why your experience of life is truly what matters, and how you can change it for the better. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does living a balanced life mean to you? Similarly, how do you define health and fitness? And how do your perceptions of these concepts impact your overall wellbeing? In this episode I'm talking about how you can view the idea of "balance" in a way that doesn't leave you feeling defeated and frustrated. I'm here to present to you an idea of how you can balance out your health and fitness in a...

How healthy would you say your attachment is with your partner? I don't know where I picked it up, but somewhere in my adolescence I adopted the belief that a healthy relationship was one where I could not be happy if my partner was not happy. In today's episode I share an email from a listener who opens up on her relationship attachment. I appreciate her vulnerability and courage in this one beca...

How willing are you to receive and surrender to healthy feedback that comes from a trusted source?  Be honest with yourself.  In today's episode I'm sharing the three types of feedback that exist, and talk about why each one is essential for your own growth and evolution. I also dig into why you keep experiencing the same results over and over in your life.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...

How full is your personal TRUST account? I'm not talking about a financial trust account. But the account we all have within us that measures how much TRUST we have in ourselves to do the things we say we're going to do. Chances are, it could use a few more deposits! Join us in the TRUST Challenge and make the commitment to daily deposits for the month of August 2018, and experience the massive im...

Today is a bit of a deviation from the normal episode. I was very inspired last night by something I saw on Instagram (it's rare, but when it happens it's potent), and I wanted to share this message with you all. There are people in your life who you know, and many who you don't, who are influenced and inspired by you everyday. They see who you are choosing to be, and it gives them strength and ho...

What are the myths and stereotypes around masculinity that you’re holding and giving strength to? What are the myths and stereotypes around masculinity that you’re holding and giving strength to? Throughout my 31 years I've picked up all sorts of ideas around what it means to be a man. So many of those ideas reinforce dated and unhealthy stereotypes. In today's episode I share my biggest stereotyp...

How comfortable are you saying "no" in your life? So many of us struggle with saying no when people make requests of our time, space, energy, money, or love. We want to please. We want others to like us. We don't want to be seen as unhelpful or unavailable. In today's episode I talk about the challenge of saying "no", and give you very concrete and actionable tips for strengthening that muscle wit...