Harmony in the Home

Does it ever seem like parenting feels hard all of the time?  If so, then today’s episode will be just for you if you don’t know how to show up when it’s so hard.  Or  you may feel an immense amount of guilt for not enjoying every second of parenting.   Or you may  feel like parenting is just too dang hard and you’re doing it all wrong. Or if you may feel that you’re messing it all up which will l...

Do you have trouble finding a good balance between your personal life, professional life, and parenting life? You may feel terribly overwhelmed, as I sometimes do, by the pile of work in front of you. Maybe you ask yourself, “how am I supposed to get anything DONE?!” In this episode, I hope to demystify that process by explaining what I call “Maintenance Mode” work. Chances are high that the way t...

Can we walk the tightrope of doing exactly enough for our kids so they succeed? My son Grady (who, at the time of recording this episode, is 11) was curious about one of his cousins who has taken a job at a cinema. He asked questions like “how does he know which button to push for a customer ordering popcorn?” and “how does he know where to GET the popcorn?” I explained the concept of “job shadow”...

Do your kids ever make you want to pull your hair out with their wacky antics? Do you stress out when your children do unsafe things due to their self-perception of invincibility? Maybe most importantly, do you worry that you have no idea how to parent your “invincible” kids? Well, this episode is for you, because the things I’m gonna lay down are going to allow you to take so much pressure off yo...

How do you teach your kids to feel tricky emotions? This is an important topic — so important that we’ve addressed it a few times during the run of our podcast. This isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last! Emotional regulation is a skill for life! Whether you’re new or seasoned, I hope this episode will be a great help, or a helpful review. In this episode, I’ll help you understand WHAT em...

Do you ever procrastinate? How about … get distracted?! I procrastinate and I get distracted sometimes. No shame in that! This episode is about our habits of hiding from work that needs doing. I don’t mean like house work or schoolwork, but inner work. We all have something in our lives that we don’t enjoy. We’ve focused a lot of negative energy toward it. It could be the dishes, our unfulfilled v...

Is it okay to be hard on yourself? Well, yes … with provisions! Let me explain: While Grady was at a golf lesson, I watched a man get a bucket of 100 balls and drive them one by one down the range. I’m a golf beginner, but it looked like he really knew what he was doing. The shots had beautiful, straight arcs. And yet after each one, he dropped his shoulders, cursed at himself under his breath, ki...

If you’ve followed my recent episodes, we’ve been talking about your blueprint for love which you absorbed as a child, as well as why you might want to alter your blueprint and how to do that. Sometimes, when you become a parent yourself, you feel lost because you don’t have that framework. So, in this episode, I’d like to offer some tips for reparenting yourself — giving yourself that missing fra...

In this episode, you’re going to learn a few important truths that made a big difference in my parenting journey. I hope that, as you learn from my experiences, you will be able to stress less and lean into the joy of being a conscious parent more. Imagine a ceramic piggy bank full of coins. These coins represent your perception of your worthiness, a small stream of day-to-day psychological reward...

How can I combine the “blueprint for love” I had growing up with the one I want for my family now? Children often forget the exact words used, but they don’t usually forget how their parents and teachers made them FEEL. What happens when, in stressful parenting situations, you find yourself resorting to tactics your caregivers used on you in your four walls as a child? How much of putting Tabasco...

How can I design my own blueprint for love? Last week we talked about the formation of your own “blueprint” for love, which is derived from the way you experienced life as a child and teenager. Most of the components of your blueprint come from the interactions you had with your parents and other family members. In this episode, I want to talk in more detail about the new and exciting opportunity...

How can I have a loving family without falling into bad patterns? — Well, here are some of my thoughts. Think about your childhood family environment — not just your parents, but your siblings, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your grandparents, friends of the family. You had a totally different “Saturn” growing up, with different people and different power dynamics orbiting your family. As a...

How can you clear the clutter of your inner voice? Do you feel like the voice inside your head is preventing you from being your best self? Well, I have some tools that you can use to take control of your thoughts. First, let’s talk about junk thoughts. I also like to call them ANTs, Automatic Negative Thoughts, because most of the time these debilitating thought patterns come completely automatic...

How can you help people in your house put things where they’re supposed to go? Okay, bear with me here. Remember how all the toys in Toy Story moved and talked when the kids were gone? Well, in my house, sometimes lots of objects talk! When I would leave cabinets open in the kitchen, David used to leave little sticky notes on the cabinet, from the perspective of the cabinet door, that said things...

What’s the most demanding workout you’ve ever experienced? I’ve been through some really grueling physical training, both while playing soccer and for personal fitness purposes. But I think the workout that has kicked my butt the hardest is … drumroll please … MEDITATION. Yeah. It’s hard stuff — especially for me and my ADHD brain! Why is meditation so difficult? In this episode, I’ll discuss the...

What are your metrics for success as a parent? How do you know when you’re doing a good job? I’ve had rubrics on the brain. When my kids have school assignments, whether those assignments are projects, written reports, or presentations, the teacher provides a rubric that shows the quality of work necessary to receive a given grade. I was thinking about this recently because I’ve been taking golf l...

When you’re new to parenting, or even an experienced parent, you may fall into the trap of using other people as your barometer. You may see an experienced parent doing XYZ thing with their kids and feel bad that you’re not doing it the same way. Or perhaps you base your success on how your children act. As I’ve said many times before on our podcast, you only have control over your side of the str...

How can you help your kids deal with anger and frustration? I asked you all on Facebook: what are some of the most difficult emotions for your kids? The results came back overwhelmingly pointing toward anger and frustration. This is totally understandable. Why? Because kids feel the exact same emotions, in the same amounts, that you do! Unfortunately, their circumstances are stacked against them:...

Do you ever wonder, “why do I lose it over tiny things my kids do?” There’s an idiom for this behavior, which is called “kicking the dog.” This expression can be summed up in this way: a person who has stressful circumstances or injustice foisted upon them will, in turn, lash out at people under their care. It can be summed up even more succinctly if we want: hurt people hurt people! Isn’t it iron...

Who should I prioritize when deciding where to devote my love and energy? I can’t remember where I heard this analogy, but it’s good enough to share. Imagine a champagne tower: a pyramid of glasses stacked so that when champagne is poured into a glass, the overflow pours into each row of glasses below it. Just like placing your relationships on metaphorical rings around Saturn (listen to episode 9...

How do you know when you’re actually doing a good job as a parent? I was recently at a sporting event with my sister and her husband. David, the kids, and I had seen a professional photographer to get some nice photos done. I got a notification that the pictures were available to view, and right there watching the game, my inner “mean girl” kicked into overdrive. I started picking myself apart, fo...

Have you ever asked yourself, “When should I start addressing problematic behavior I see in myself or others in my home?” I know I have! Here are some thoughts for your consideration. I love to stop and assess: “is this an event, or is this a pattern?” If you miss a day on your workout regimen, or if your child forgets to attend to a responsibility for one day or once in a long while, I PROMISE it...

How do I get my kids to listen?! It’s no secret: getting kids to listen the first time is a huge point of interest for parents. It’s the topic that most often brings people to me. Now, while there is no single good answer, there are a lot of things you can and should try, and I’ll be introducing you to some ideas that I hope will help you on your quest for attentive children! I’ve sourced the titl...

Just how do you deal with the incessant, insufferable noise from your inner critic?! Everybody has a “mean girl” or “mean guy” inside of them. It is often a voice of profound negativity — not of deliberately malicious intent, it just constantly reminds you that you’re Not Good Enough. The voice of the inner critic keeps you operating in your comfort zone and out of what it perceives as dangerous c...