Harmony in the Home

I keep getting into funny title territory! This episode is no different. You may think “well, which sport is it, baseball or basketball?” And my answer to you is … either. Let me explain. It may be difficult getting your kids to listen. I know I have LOTS of trouble listening to my kids sometimes, and I’m all grown up. But your children need to have real attentive listening modeled for them every...

You’re probably thinking, what are you talking about with these random titles? Well, this title is not original. Someone told me this idea when the kids were very little, something that I’ve kind of mentioned in passing, but I decided to dedicate an entire episode to it because this helps me so much to stay present and focused and engage with my kids. Basically, from birth to age 18, your child wi...

I often get asked, how do I deal with temper tantrums? Probably one of the hardest parts of parenting is working through your child’s temper tantrum. When I was a teacher and counselor, I dealt with a lot of tantrums, but the kids were generally able to keep it in during the day. I wasn’t privy to the post-school, in-car meltdowns, and I either had support, or I WAS the support. But as a parent, I...

First off: no, I’m not announcing a sponsor partnership with Kodak! But I am going to wax a little nostalgic for a second. I promise this is building to a point. Years ago, when we had to use film cameras, we’d take our film roll and get it developed at the store and then we’d be able to look at it and pick the shots we wanted printed. Kodak did a whole marketing campaign about the “Kodak moments,...

I assure you, though it may seem like I’ve gone crazy with these episode titles, I haven’t gone crazy! Let me explain how people are like bananas. In my household, we (and by we I mean Lily and Grady) have a rapidly-changing palette for snack foods, and what they like comes in funny little waves. One phase was vegetable straws; I bought a massive pack of 50 bags of veggie straws, and then just a c...

What is the most important part of parenting? As an analogy, think of a geologist sifting sediment through a strainer looking for cool rocks. All the sand comes out the bottom, and the pebbles and rocks stay inside the strainer. People, and children especially, are the same way. Let me explain! Before I was conscious — it’s kind of funny, I say it like I was asleep for years of my life — I was so...

What would you do if you had more time every day? What wonderful goals would you accomplish? What feats of parenthood would you achieve? Well, what’re you waiting for? Stop imagining it and start doing it! You may have seen Pomodoro timers (the little tomato-shaped kitchen timers) in many people’s houses. This is the hallmark of Pomodoro technique, a time management system developed by Francesco C...

Have you ever felt guilty relaxing? I know I have! When my kids were little, guilt about not being busy ruled my life. I scheduled us up to our ears in activities and plans. It was way too much for David and my kids! In time, I came to realize the value in taking things slow and relaxing now and again. Relaxation, or “downtime” as I often call it, is an important tool to help you recharge and reca...

What do we do when we put too much pressure on ourselves? What if we don’t push ourselves enough? There’s a delicate balance between grit and grace — insatiable, relentless opposing forces that both have a vital place in your personal development. For some of you, grace is the special of the day, and it’s always on tap. Perhaps you had plans in order — meal prep, a workout, learning a new recipe f...

I thought this week would be wonderful to do a follow-up on teaching kids emotional literacy and self-regulation after last week’s episode. My title is, once again, alliteration. You know how I love it! Engaging with Grady as he plays sports and video games has been an exciting trip into the realm of new youth slang! He talks about using “strats” (strategies) to be a competent sportsman or gamer,...

How do we respond when our emotions feel like they’re going to explode out, just like a shaken soda can? As adults, we have rough days all the time. Emotions run high; we feel out-of-control. We want to scream or cry or throw things, and we have decades of experience being human! That means that we (usually) have tools to monitor and regulate our own emotions. Small children have no such safeguard...

The theme for this week is centered around taking one small step toward recognizing and honoring your child as a unique spirit — a gift from God, the Universe, whatever you want to call the great cosmic power — with an appropriately unique set of skills, abilities, and needs. I remember a conversation with my daughter Lily when she was very small, in elementary school, wherein she told me unprompt...

This week I wanted to share a story about food — because, like, who doesn’t love food? This is also the story of a mutual aid effort I’m getting involved in. This program is called Lasagna Love, it’s now extended to all 50 states in the USA, and my family and I are enjoying this opportunity to spread random acts of kindness in the form of food. Lasagna Love matches people who need food with people...

The grass is always greener on the other side … right? WRONG! On a slight tangent from last episode’s subject, I’ll be talking more about lessons learned during my first forays into coaching. I came to use the expression “Facebook grass” to refer to that bit of sweet sweet greenery in your neighbor’s metaphorical “yard” of social media — a beautiful, cultivated space that appears to be free of all...

What does a pizza parlor have to do with parenting, anyway?! Well … let me tell you. Several years ago, when I was just beginning to do life coaching, I attended a seminar for life coaches. I met many of my heroes there and found myself up to my neck in information. Naturally, I was curious about these people and how their lives stacked up now that they were living what I considered the “dream lif...

Let’s revisit last week’s question: how do you care for a child with a radically different personality than your own? As you know if you’ve listened to much of our podcast, my problem was the opposite. Early on in my saga of marriage and parenthood, I had the family scheduled up to our ears. I couldn’t allow us to have a single free moment; I needed social events to occupy all our free time. I fel...

How do you care for a child with a radically different personality than your own? This is the very question I asked myself as I came to realize that my oldest, Lily, was nothing like me, and was not supposed to be. Two events changed my outlook. First, reading Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s The Conscious Parent, which is an INCREDIBLE read by the way (or listen, if you prefer the audiobook), shattered my p...

Sometimes all we need is time to chill! When Grady was starting school, I got many reports from his teachers that he was crying often. Not just crying for mom and dad at the beginning of class, but crying ALL. DAY. LONG. It was shocking to me, mainly because Grady’s red zone (don’t know what that is? see episode 89!) was usually “hot”: getting red in the face, pushing people, turning over chairs,...

Birthday parenting? What does that mean?! Okay, let me tell you, because this is some really good symbolism. So this week, Lily and I went to the mall to shop for a birthday gift for one of her friends, who we’ll call Sally. She picked a couple things and I said, “is that something YOU would like, or something SALLY would like?” After some introspection, Lily got into Freaky Friday mode and did a...

This week, I want to talk about leapfrog thoughts. I came up with this term to describe the leaps and bounds of an unmanaged mind imagining the worst-case scenarios, as I used to do when my children did things I thought were incorrect. I remember when I was teaching and the school provided YMCA pre-K daycare, I watched Lily from afar begging for the teacher to hold her and bawling her eyes out at...

How do you stay focused on long-term goals? How do you get back on the horse after you’ve fallen off? I hope this episode will illuminate some useful principles for you. Darren Hardy’s excellent book The Compound Effect posits that every major success in life is compounded from tiny, almost imperceptible choices made on a day-to-day basis. For example, having a strong, healthy body means keeping t...

Suppose that you notice that your child or children interrupt you often when you may be busy on a phone call or talking to somebody in person. Why is that? And what can you do to quietly communicate your attention to your children’s woes? Well, first of all, know that this is totally normal for any children under the age of seven. Second, know that even if they’re well over that age, it’s not mali...

This week, I’ll be drawing on the lesson that changed the trajectory of my life. Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children is a must-read for a parent attempting to make the journey into a conscious, healthy parenting style. Several years ago I was doing my workout and listening to the audiobook, and this quote hit me so hard that I almost dro...

A tantrum can look a lot of different ways, but it’s a global word to describe a child having a hard time. Here’s a secret: toddlers aren’t the only people who have tantrums. Older kids have them. Teenagers have them. ADULTS have them! If you feel exhausted at the end of the day, like you’ve been riding a roller-coaster, it’s likely that you’ve been having tantrums right along with your kids. I kn...

This episode deals with a lot of subjects, but I’ll be focusing on a specific tool that you can use: the expression “asked and answered,” which is short form for “you’ve asked, and I’ve given my answer.” Now for an example: Suppose you’re in the checkout line at the store and your child wants a lollipop. They ask, you say no — but they keep asking and they keep whining and maybe even throw a tantr...