HARKpodcast

HARKpodcast

Music EN ↓ 425 episodes

Your hosts Ian & RJ review and rank every Christmas, Hanukkah, winter, holiday, et cetera song. All of 'em. Even the bad ones. Especially the bad ones.

Be sure to visit the podcast's website and support the creator: harkpodcast.com

Author

HARKpodcast

Category

Music

Podcast website

harkpodcast.com

Latest episode

Oct 14, 2026

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Episodes

Episode 320: Second Chances 12.10.2022

This epsiode was going to be themed around light, because Diwali is coming up soon? And then it kinda turned into being themed around requests from CJ, a longtime HARK listener. And theeeen it kind of turned into a third thing? We listened to "Donner and Blitzen" by Thor and "Bohemian Chanukah" by Six13, with open hearts and minds. Some corrections: the light source is probably above them. Also we...

Episode 319: lofi eggnog beats to study to 28.09.2022

Eggnog Watch 2022 is well under way, and we're taking on another mission - to find some eggnog tunes to groove to while you scan those shelves. "Six Cups of Eggnog" by Larry Costa certainly sounds classic and celebratory, but may be more concerned with what's in the nog than the superlative drink itself. Thankfully, a visionary emerges to set us on the right path: "Time Travel Eggnog" by Eggnog Qu...

Episode 318: It's Fall. 14.09.2022

Ian and Jam are back, baby, and IT'S FALL. So pull your scarves out of your closets, spice your pumpkins, and get ready to celebrate the High Holy Days. In honor of Rosh Hashana, we listen to "New Year" by Regina Spektor and "Intangible Things (A Hanukkah Song)" by Haley K. Turner.  This week's ranking music is "That Time" by Regina Spektor.

Episode 317: Fake Shark, Real Feelings 17.08.2022

We're about to take a few weeks off, but before we do that, let's cover some listener requests! While not themed, per se, they both deal with the hustle and bustle of the winter holiday season. "Winona Ryder Hates Christmas" by Fake Shark Real Zombie is a song that takes its inexplicably silly premise seriously, while "At Last, I'm Ready For Christmas" by Stan Rogers deftly injects some sincerity...

Episode 316: Elephants Are Forever 03.08.2022

Ian and Jam are back on their bullshit, celebrating a holiday you've never heard of with - what else? - Christmas music! It's World Elephant Day, so join us as we merely skim the surface of the world of elephant-related Christmas music with "I Want an Elephant for Christmas" performed by the Peter Pan Caroleers and "I'd Like to Have an Elephant for Christmas" by Hank Thompson. Our ranking music th...

Episode 315: Birthday Vibes 20.07.2022

IT'S BIRTHDAY BOY'S CHOOOOIICCCE Ian's birthday is this week, and so he's choosing the songs! And he's going for top 100 candidate kinda shit with the (mostly) touching lyrics of "Grateful for Christmas" by Hayes Carll and the (totally) smooth sounds of "I Dream of Christmas" by Norah Jones. This episode's ranking music is "Purple Snowflakes" by Marvin Gaye.

Episode 314: Hanukkah in July 06.07.2022

Here we are, more than half way through 2022... and we haven't managed to add one dang Hanukkah song to the list! Ian and Jam remedy this with some seasonally appropriate warm weather Hanukkah tunes - "Hanukkah Hawaiian" by Regina Smoler and "Hanukkah in Santa Monica" (uh, no, not that one, a different one) by Mike Barnett and Allie Feder Kramer.  Our ranking music in this episode is, indeed, "Han...

Episode 313: Milestone-esque 22.06.2022

We're half-way through the year and we're marking it the old-fashioned way - by discussing two songs of absolutely divergent quality! By request, we listen to the heavenly "Angels Blush" by Basia, and then drag ourselves to hell with "Honorable Congratulations" by the McGuire Sisters. Our ranking music in this episode is "Coco Jamboo (Christmas Version)" by Mr. President. Thank you to Jim for thes...

Episode 312: Rudolph B. Goode 08.06.2022

This week, we're finally covering our oldest request on record - a song whose original (but non-thematic) pair was discussed on the show way back in February 2019. It's "Run Rudolph Run" as performed by Lemmy, Billy Gibbons, and Dave Grohl for the We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year compilation album. And what better way to welcome "Run Rudolph Run" to the list than to also cover t...

Episode 311: Santa is the Color of Your Energy 25.05.2022

I mean, what else were we going to do for this episode? 311 didn't leave us a LOT of options, so we had to go with "Mele Kalikimaka" performed by Nick Hexum. Then, for reasons , we listened to The Offspring's cover of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)". This episode's ranking music is "Amber" by 311! Of course!

Episode 310: Christmas Wrapping Sandwich 11.05.2022

Inspired by the upcoming World Goth Day, we find a dark jewel in "Things Fall Apart" by Cristina. And then we kinda wander away from World Goth Day, with Ian instead leading RJ down a seemingly circuitous but actually quite straightforward route to arrive at "Christmas Time in the Motor City" by Was (Not Was). This week's ranking music is "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses!

Episode 309: Literally Metaphorical Jesus 27.04.2022

We said we were going to do it, and we did it. It's an Arbor Day episode. But, you know, minus the dang trees. Maybe it's a belated Earth Day episode? Anyway, we discuss "The Holly and the Ivy" by Los Campesinos! and "Christmas Cactus" by Juliana Hatfield, and argue about the merits of medieval Jesus metaphors and extremely literal plant care tips. The ranking music in this episode is "Palmcorder...

Episode 308: Weed On Earth 13.04.2022

Easter and Passover are all well and good, but this week we're celebrating the more traditional HARK holiday: 4/20, baby. We take another look at Snoop Dogg Presents Christmas in the Dogghouse and discover "Christmas in the Hood" by Daz Dillinger featuring Deacon and "Xmas Trees" by Kurupt. Weed on earth and good weed to men, y'all. Our ranking music in this episode is "When Was Jesus Born" by Lil...

Episode 307: War and Peace 30.03.2022

There's a diversity of springtime holidays on the horizon, and we're covering some songs about holiday inclusivity (and lack thereof)! By request, we take a listen to "The Christians and the Pagans", a 1990s Christmas/Solstice classic by Dar Williams, followed by "The War on Christmas", a YouTube-era satire by Hot Dad. Our ranking music in this episode is "The Ocean" by Dar Williams featuring John...

Episode 306: I Got Soul But I'm Not a Santa 16.03.2022

It started out with "Don't Shoot Me Santa". How did it end up like this? It was only "I Feel It In My Bones"; it was only "Dirt Sledding". Thank you to Phil the Killers Boy for these requests! Our ranking music in this episode is "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers.

Episode 305: Sidebottom and Bear Culture 02.03.2022

This week we're looking at a request from many moons ago and revisiting one of RJ's favorite topics - muppets! Or at least, Jim Henson Company critters. "There's a Promise" from the Fraggle Rock holiday special and "Legend of the Winter Berry" from Bear in the Big Blue House  both give us those warm, fuzzy feelings. This episode's ranking song is "Goodbye Song" from Bear in the Big Blue House. Tha...

Episode 304: Holy Piglet, Mr. President! 16.02.2022

In celebration of - or, well, tangetially related to - Presidents' Day, we've got two Christmas songs from musical groups with appropriate names! The Presidents of the United States of America offer us "Christmas Piglet", while Mr. President re-gifts their mid-90s eurodance hit in "Coco Jamboo (Christmas Version)". Our ranking music in this episode is "Peaches" by The Presidents of the United Stat...

Episode 303: Exemplary Horny 02.02.2022

Valentine's Day is approaching - the horniest holiday of the year! Well, maybe the second horniest. Ehhhh, at least top five. Anyway, we're talking about two horny winter holiday songs: "Holiday Freak Shit" by Mila J and "I've Got Some Presents for Santa" by Sarah Taylor & Bill Mumy! This week's ranking music is "Fish Heads" by Barnes & Barnes. There's a lot of curveballs in this one, folks.

Episode 302: Noodly & Non-Threatening 19.01.2022

In honor or Burns Night, we're discussing some holiday music by Scottish artists! First up, we're delighted to find a potential 21st century Christmas classic in "Santa Will Find You" by Phil Cunningham's Christmas Songbook Band. Then we enjoy the nostalgia for incredibly recent times induced by "New Year's Resolution" by Camera Obscura! RJ says "New Year Resolutions" instead of "New Year's Resolu...

Episode 301: Inscrutable Epiphany 05.01.2022

A new year has begun, but we're starting with a throwback - we address our oldest remaining requests from back in the tumblr days of the podcast! "Christmas Eve Eve" by Paul and Storm extolls the virtues of a liminal-space-esque not-holiday with cheerful charm, while "Calling on Mary" by Aimee Mann offers mystery, melancholy, metaphor maybe, and surely other words beginning with m. The ranking mus...

Episode 300: Good to Better, Bad to Worse 22.12.2021

We made it to our last episode of 2021 (and a big round number of episodes/songs) and to celebrate, we're trying to unseat the top and bottom songs on our list! As per tradition, RJ & Ian surprise each other with their picks - and by coincidence, both have picked new versions of songs that we've covered on the show before! Will these improved/impoverished updates be enough to enter the list as one...

Episode 299: She Was The Man With The Bag The Whole Time 08.12.2021

Howdy, Herald Angels! This week on HARK: two underdogs in the canon of classic Christmas music. "(Everybody's Waiting For) The Man With The Bag" by Kay Starr is cheerful nonsense that teaches us some fun facts about music history. Then we hear another banger off of an album that has already landed in our top 100 songs once before: "The Merriest" by June Christy. Our ranking music this week is "Sev...

Episode 298: Not An Improvement 24.11.2021

As we rapidly accelerate towards the winter holiday season, we've got a Hanukkah song and a Christmas song that go together like music and lyrics! Uh, you know, fine.  "Hot Rod Hanukkah" by Meshugga Beach Party is a lukewarm track off of an otherwise great surf rock album, while "Christmas Nights in Blue" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in carolization. Our...

Episode 297: Snowman Lore 10.11.2021

It's RJ's birthday week! And we didn't forget about birthday boy's choice this year! To celebrate, RJ lets Ian choose one of the songs (just like he did for them on his birthday in Episode 289), and he opts to finally add "Frosty the Snowman" (the original version by Gene Autry) to the list after all these years. For their choice, RJ selects the much more modern "Merry Merry" by The Bird and The B...

Episode 296: A Bat, A Plan, A Canal, Aurora Borealis 27.10.2021

It's time for our annual Halloween episode, with no less than twenty-two ghouls! Listen, I made up that number of ghouls. I'm not sure how many ghouls we have. We listened to "13 Nights of Halloween" by Elvira, who rules, even if her novelty song is a bit too "spooky sounds for Halloween ambiance cassette tape". We also listened to "Aurora Borealis" by Lemon Demon, an unsettling but upbeat track t...

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