Hard Factor
Hard Factor
Cheat on the news with Hard Factor. Satirical daily news podcast, not hyper-polarizing and depressing like all the others. Drops at Midnight Eastern, 5 Days a Week, 24/7/365. Follow the pod on social @HardFactorNews. Hosts: @hardfactorMark @hardfactorPat @hardfactorWes @hardfactorWill. Full video episodes: YouTube.com/HardFactorNews Join our community: patreon.com/hardfactor Voicemail Line: 512.270.1480
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Episodes
HARD FACTOR 5/13: Alyssa Milano's Sex Strike, Machete Murderer in Appalachia, and a Lightning Round of Other Headlines 13.05.2019 23:19
Alyssa Milano is calling for a nationwide sex strike from women in response to Georgia passing the “Heartbeat Bill” that essentially bans abortion. A madman has been terrorizing hikers on the the Appalachian Trail for months, being arrested before and released, but his reign of insanity ended in a deadly attack. President Trump is dealing with continued concerns that the trade war with China may e...
Hard Factor 5/9: Bill Barr Held In Contempt of Congress, More Big Dicked Heroes Coming From School Shootings, Alcohol Consumption On The Rise Worldwide, Lightening Round 09.05.2019 28:59
The House Judiciary Committee voted on Wednesday to hold Attorney General Bill Barr in “contempt of congress” because of his choices to first skip his second day of scheduled hearings, where the D's celebrated by eating fried chicken, and then claiming executive privilege as the basis to not turn over the full un-redacted Mueller Report to the committee. Alcohol consumption is on the rise, and if...
Hard Factor 5/8: Georgia Will Kill You if You Get an Abortion, Lyft Now Has Self Driving Cars, Great-Grandma Arrested for CBD Oil 08.05.2019 23:56
Bet you're thinking twice about that abortion now, huh? Yesterday Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp signed a “fetal heartbeat” bill into law yesterday. The bill seeks to outlaw abortion after about six weeks, aka potentially in some cases one week after a teenager would tell her friends, “I missed my period.” This bill takes effect on Jan. 1, 2020, at which point you can be sentenced to death if you decide...
Hard Factor 5/7: The USA Is Whipping Its Big Warship Dick Out, Legal Shrooms, And Metal Chicken 07.05.2019 24:08
On today's episode... The United States is moving ships and sucking tits. If you don't want to end up like a certain dragon then shape it up countries like Iran. Denver is about to change the mother fucking game and legalize shrooms. Pretty sure Phish is going to be playing some extra shows there in 2020. Chinese Pork and Tysons Chicken Having some Issues.... Eat steak and subscribe to Hard Facto...
HARD FACTOR 5/6: AOC's Bearded Beau, TSA Passes on Grass, and a Kentucky Derby Recap 06.05.2019 25:07
AOC's boyfriend got a ton of shit for being overweight and hairy. A French chick even called him a “bin raccoon.” The Hard Factor boys are rattled. TSA claims that they are not interested in your marijuana products in your bags when you travel, but that if they come across them while looking for other hazardous material that they can't turn a blind eye. Maximum Security gets jobbed, Country House...
Hard Factor 5/3: All Florida Man Episode 03.05.2019 23:59
Special All Florida Man Episode. Brought to you by 1800flowers.com Radio Offers --> Enter promo code: HARDFACTOR Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Hard Factor 5/2: Bill Barr Gets Grilled And Doesn't Care, Frats Get In Trouble For "Rape Attic", The Impossible Burger Is Made of What? 02.05.2019 27:58
Bill Barr was grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee and he did not give a shit. Just look at that picture. In fact, he cared so little about being questioned, that he said "I'm not coming back" in regards to appearing again today. Enjoy the scotch and day off, Bill. A couple frats at Swathmore College in PA are in some hot water and are getting disbanded after their google docs was hacked a...
Hard Factor 5/1: Venezuela Coup, Trump Is Charging Admission to America, and Vampire Facials 01.05.2019 29:50
Venezuela finally started that coup they're always taking about. They still have a bonus president, but Operation Freedom is in it's final phase. Trump is tried of immigrants getting into America without paying admission and is hell bent on closing the loopholes in the Asylum process at the US border. Trump announced that he wants to charge fees to those who choose to seek asylum in the US, and w...
Hard Factor 4/30: Hot Rod Resigns, Russia Is Militarizing Whales and Invisible Aliens are Banging Us 30.04.2019 25:37
'Hot" Rod Rosenstein is out as the Deputy Attorney General. He has resigned effective May 11th and his bosses boss President Donald Trump is probably thrilled since he has asked for treason charges to be considered for the "Hot Rod." Way to avoid the awkward performance review Rod. Russia is very likely training whales, dolphins and seals to join their navy. Floating whale mines is pretty fucki...
HARD FACTOR 4/29: Measles are BACK, Amazon Prime is Going to 1-Day Shipping, and Spain is Considering the Night King Approach 29.04.2019 20:49
The measles are making a comeback with over 700 cases in the US this year, and President Trump is telling everyone to go get the shot. Are you going to do your duty? Shopping addicts and hoarders rejoice, Amazon will now get you your prime orders for essential oils starter kits and whatever other weird shit you might be into 1 day sooner, starting as early as June. The new “Vox Party” in Spain has...
Hard Factor 4/25: Bill Cosby Wants Out of Jail (No Shit), More Boy Scout Troop Leaders Than Previously Thought Are Molesting Kids, Lightening Round 25.04.2019 22:24
So not that we didn't know this already, but apparently FAR more Boy Scout leaders are molesting kids, and they don't even sell delicious cookies. Bill Cosby is not happy with the judge that oversaw his case, and now he wants out of jail on bail while he awaits an appeal. He claims he is not a threat, but until he's dead, he is likely still a threat. And much much more in the lightening round, an...
Hard Factor 4/24: The Philippines Threatens War Against Canada, Masters Tickets Scam Uncovered, The Census is Back! 24.04.2019 25:38
The US Supreme Court held oral arguments on Tuesday about whether or not to allow the Trump administration to ask questions about citizenship status on the 2020 US Census… and you wouldn't believe it but, it looks pretty likely that they're going to allow it. Which at the end of the day really means nothing because only nerds fill out the census and everyone knows if you have the balls to swim ac...
Hard Factor 4/23: Social Security Is Fucked And Hand Jobs In Florida 23.04.2019 26:28
So stop me if you've heard this before, Social Security is going to run out right before you're old enough to collect. Word on the street is that people are going to be collecting a lot less than 100% of their social security check starting in 2035, but that can change. Baby boomers are good though so don't worry about them. Elon Musk had his space ship blow up, one of his cars spontaneously combu...
HARD FACTOR 4/22: Easter Massacre in Sri Lanka, Wild Easter "Celebrations" in the US, Militia Man Arrested, and a Cannabis Cup Recap 22.04.2019 27:39
Three churches and four hotels were bombed in Sri Lanka on Easter in an apparently religiously motivated attack. There have been counter attacks, and it's a bad situation. A Seton Hall professor wanted to “celebrate” Easter by lighting several Catholic churches on fire… good news for everyone that this man is an absolute moron and didn't get away with his plan. Also, a pastor in Ohio encouraged hi...
Hard Factor 4/18: Apple Settles Lawsuit With Qualcomm, A Mom In CA Banged Her Daughter's Boyfriends, Shady Opioid Doctors Busted, Lightening Round 18.04.2019 28:24
Coral Lytle, of Tulare CA is being accused of banging her daughters two separate freshman boyfriends and bribing them off with booze and smokes. Sounds like a great deal for a 15 year old boy, because she is kinda hot.....The whole thing fell through when one of the freshman got a conscience and alerted police because he felt guilty shaking her husband's hand.....what an idiot that kid is. Apple...
Hard Factor 4/17: Trump Busted Out His Veto Gong, Ancient Diseases Unearthed by Global Warming, John From The Robert Kraft Handjob Parlor Choses An Interesting Defense 17.04.2019 21:44
On Today's Episode of Hard Factor: Roll back out the veto gong. Our guy Donnie got a taste a few weeks ago. He got his first veto in over the National Emergency “invasion” in air quotes at the border and now he's going to be smashing that veto gong a lot. Number 2 came on Tuesday when President Donald Trump vetoed a congressional resolution that sought to end U.S. involvement in the Saudi-led war...
Hard Factor 4/16: Notre Dame Was On Fire, Tiger's Getting a Presidential Medal and Bernie's a Millionaire 16.04.2019 24:22
Well that was wild, the whole fucking cathedral almost burnt to the ground and the whole world was watching it and acting like it was a royal wedding except one where someone got stood up at the alter. This is not the first time Notre Dame was nearly or just straight up destroyed, it happened in World War I as well. No one died, they will rebuild and the baguettes and wine will still be phenomenal...
HARD FACTOR 4/15: Julian Assange Detained, Party at the Eau Claire Walmart, and a Man Sues His Parents Over Destroyed Porn Stash 15.04.2019 27:23
The guy Beto O'Rourke wishes he was, Julian Assange, has been detained and is now facing charges from the United States… but everyone doesn't agree on if he's guilty or not. A family of complete savages wrecked shop on the Eau Claire, Wisconsin Walmart, and hilarity ensued. Even the dog got in on the action. A man in Michigan, recently divorced, is suing his parent for over $80K for destroying his...
Hard Factor 4/11: PFT Commenter Joins The Show And Covers The "First Ever" Picture Of A Black Hole, A Festival In Japan That Celebrates A Steel Penis, Tiny Species of Human Discovered On Philippine Island 11.04.2019 22:38
Hard Factor VP of Football Operations & Host of Pardon My Take PFT Commenter joins the show today to talk... A festival that takes place on the first Sunday of every April in Kawasaki, Japan is quite the event!! The centuries old festival, which is based on a legend involving a jealous demon hidden inside the vagina of a Goddess who bites dicks off, is basically the worlds biggest bachelorette p...
Hard Factor 4/10: HUGE Medicare Scheme "Operation Brace Yourself", Key West Millionaire Busted by K-Mart, Lightening Round 10.04.2019 19:21
Federal agents busted one of the largest medicare schemes in history on Tuesday. The scheme, which targeted elderly and disabled persons on medicare, involved shady doctors, who were getting bribes from medical equipment companies to write fake prescriptions for knee, back and neck braces that patients didn't actually need. Telemedicine companies would call up people known to be on medicare, tel...
HARD FACTOR 4/9: (H)UGE Trumpdate, Uncle Chaps Joins to Talk Mussolini 09.04.2019 21:23
On Today's Episode of Hard Factor: We're joined by special guest host @UncleChaps. Trump had such a big day. So much stuff. Trump fired the director of the Secret Service. He named the Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corpsas terrorists. The Senators he tapped for the “healthcare policy group” just aren't that into him. And a California judge blocked Trump's policy of returning asylum seekers...
HARD FACTOR 4/8: DHS Secretary Kristjen Nielsen Resigns, Happy News from Africa, and a Pennsylvania Man's Meth-Fueled Maxi-Pad Raid 08.04.2019 25:17
Special co-host Kate joins the boys to discuss the news on this episode. DHS Secretary Kristjen Nielsen Resigns Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kristjen Nielsen resigned effective immediately on Sunday amid criticisms from all sides on how the situation at the US southern border has been handled so far. Double Feature from Africa: The American Hostage in Uganda was Found, and A Poa...
Hard Factor 4/4: Steve Wynn Is In Trouble, Is Uganda Safe?, Bees Are The Worst/Best, Lightening Round, WEIGHT LOSS FINALE!! 04.04.2019 28:49
Ever had a manicure that got you just a little too excited that you do something illegal? Well that's what happened to Steve Wynn, who is being accused of raping and impregnating a woman who gave him a very special manicure inside his hotel, and he thinks its all a conspiracy against him....Ok Steve.... A man and his dog were attacked by hundreds of bees in their home after the bees penetrated th...
Hard Factor 4/3: Trump Had an Electric Day, Tiger Salesman Joe Exotic Is In Trouble, South Carolina Mega Church Threatens to "Cut" Anyone Who Crosses Them 03.04.2019 25:43
Trump said on Tuesday: "If we don't make a deal with Congress, the border's going to be closed. 100 percent." Not only does Trump want action now from Congress, he cut foreign aid for Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras, basically saying why would we aid them if they send caravans at us?? Your move congress. Also...the Republican Party is now the Party of Healthcare. Whatever that means. In other...
Hard Factor 4/2: Baltimore Mayor Goes PG the Wire, Wes Has Your Brexit Update and Method Acting Kid Makes Heath Ledger Look Like a Pussy 02.04.2019 21:22
The Mayor of Baltimore is corrupt. Any questions? There's Michelangelo, Mozart, Maya Angelou, the Beatles and Wes. If you haven't heard Hard Factor Wes describe Brexit then you haven't experienced art. Go grab a nice bottle of Argentinian Malbec, light some candles, take a bubble bath and listen to Wes break down Brexit in a way that makes you feel like you're an MP. Have you ever starred in a pla...
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