Happy Hour: The Definitive 7th Heaven Walkthrough

Send us Fan Mail Oh no, here comes another filler episode focused on Simon and Mrs. Bink. We do our best to keep you entertained despite it all. This includes: a lot of discussion about charismatic cult leaders, our favorite shapes of ice, and significant whining about how bad this one is. What we were drinking: 21st Amendment - Hell or High Pomegranate Cazadores Reposado and Soda Check us out on...

Send us Fan Mail It's one of the most famous, yet thinly plotted episodes in 7th Heaven's history, what can really be said? Essentially, that Eric is out of control and Ruthie is Bean Daughter. Also, Greg's cat Dany makes a special guest appearance! This week we drank: Some Riesling we can't remember the name of. No particular reason we can't remember, really! Check us out...

Send us Fan Mail Hey dear listeners, this week we are rolling right along in Season 3 with an episode based entirely around the phrase "I Love You." We learn Ruthie loves snooping, Eric loves chicken, Mary loves bothering Wilson, and Laurie loves deep cut house music. Also we just go on a mostly unprompted ten minute rant about fried chicken and hamburgers at one point. Blame it on the t...

Send us Fan Mail This week we are joined by friend of the show Mama Teri to discuss a riveting episode about the perils of ill-conceived public school policies, as all five Camden kids head off to their first day of the new school year and are then immediately suspended. Also, Mila Kunis makes her return and it's devastatingly shallow, the kid from Home Improvement threatens to jump off a bui...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome all to Season 2! This week: Eric goes and does more things in more places where he doesn't belong, Simon is getting a new room even though the void one is still empty, Ruthie has a tux fashion show, Matt gets really jealous of Heather's nerd friend, Mila Kunis still hasn't showed up despite constant teasing, Mary is mean, and the parents get married again fo...

Send us Fan Mail Season 1 is a wrap! Could it have been accomplished in one episode instead of two? Absolutely. But join us anyway as we take on the end of all the dangerous liaison plots - Annie keeps being terrible, Jimmy Moon starts being terrible, Wilson is still so pretty and good, Heather is too patient, and Grandpa is just along for the ride with a little solace from Mrs. Bink. This week we...

Send us Fan Mail This week we reach the dramatic conclusion of Season 1 (well, part 1 of 2). The theme is "dangerous liaisons", and boy are they ever. We are introduced to several fan favorite recurring characters (Wilson, Heather, Ginger), and also extensively discuss the storied history of Mr. Potato Head, the etymology of the ASL word turtle, how our childhood closets were organized,...

Send us Fan Mail Boy do we have an episode for you, as Matt falls prey to the feminine wiles of Annie's old high school friend Rachel. We unpack this episode's "interesting" takes on gender dynamics, plus so many new facts about the famous invisible friend Hoowie. Also, Suzanne leaves town or something, but we aren't too sad to see her go. This week we drank Open Gate Brew...

Send us Fan Mail We decided not to subject any guests to this astonishingly terrible episode featuring the return of Aunt Julie, Grandma Ruth, and the Colonel. It has inexplicable backyard shipbuilding, the world's largest glass of port, and really just a lot of drama based on nearly nothing, but we do our best! This week's cocktail: Lemon Drop "Martini" 2 oz Vodka 1 oz Fresh L...

Send us Fan Mail We're back with friend of the show Lawrence to talk medical anxiety, convicts, and wayward phone dialing in an episode that feels like 3 rings of the same plot in a Groundhog's Day spiral. This week: Simon is the same annoying person, Ruthie prompts us to go on a long tangent about 90's lunch box classics, more meta jokes about Jimmy's acting ability or lack th...

Send us Fan Mail Friend of the show Lian is back to talk about one of the greatest episodes yet - the end of Season 1 is really on a roll! We are graced not only by the presence of bad girl Camille (played by the glorious Keri Russell), but hilarious runaway ferrets that travel in a pair of unfettered mischief. Plus a truly amazing final ten minutes, where the unpredictable secrets of former assoc...

Send us Fan Mail We sit down with some classic New Year's brunch drinks to talk about one well-crafted episode. It includes Ruthie's evolving liberation from Simon, Mary (and her hot high school Principal) teaching a supremely jerky man a lesson, the world's best "high crime area", and so much more. This week's drinks: Mimosa - you should just know what is in this. Ch...

Send us Fan Mail This week we are here for a very special Christmas Eve Valentine's Day episode featuring Greg's mom Steph. The plot involves more logistical word problems, an ill-fated trip to the movies, a really stalker-y annual ex, the world's best track suit, and oh yeah Happy gets hit by a car but she's fine after a deep sleep. Make your own Egg Nog! https://tastesbetterf...

Send us Fan Mail Hey gang, this week we are joined by our friend Lauren to talk about one of Season 1's more notable episodes - the introduction of the Colonel and Grandma Ruth! Plot points include The Clapper, small children hot wiring cars, an otherworldly hard pink taffy, so many trips to the hardware store, and the world's most stereotypical orphan. By the way, here is the Gundam mod...

Send us Fan Mail This week we are joined by our friend Lian and her cat Juju to talk about a good old hazing plot. Sprinkled throughout are some questionable attitudes about patriotism, our criminal justice system, and peer pressure. We meet some new Glen Oak characters this go around, including the world's most legitimately grumpy diner owner and a real sassafras of a judge. Plus, Eric at hi...

Send us Fan Mail Hey, hey, hey this week we are joined by Greg's brother-in-law Jackson to talk about an episode chock full of god incarnate - the glorious Mrs. Bink. However, she is quickly displaced by the holiest handyman - Steve. Also it's Lucy's 13th birthday and we are schooled by Jackson's deep knowledge of 7th Heaven space-time kinks. The new odd ball character Dwight i...

Send us Fan Mail This week Morgan and Greg sit down to discuss an episode about Matt's new girlfriend trying to steal his family via very intense carpool word problems. Meanwhile, Mary hates the concept of cheerleading, Simon is the most annoying he has literally ever been after reading Goosebumps #6, and nineties flip phones are featured in a starring role. Corrections: Morgan incorrectly at...

Send us Fan Mail This week Stacey Axler (@StaceyAxComedy) is back to discuss one of our very favorite episodes! It really has it all: physically assaulting Simon, dog sweaters, Thanksgiving, Jimmy Moon's greatest appearance to date, Eric straight up imprisoning his sister, and much much more.  The cocktail is something I made up with available stuff in my house, and named after Wesley Crusher...

Send us Fan Mail With ideal timing, we are joined by friend of the show Stephen to discuss a plot about trauma, communicable diseases, and a grueling election. Unrelated, Mary really wants a girls basketball team tattoo of a cat (no comment). Also, we learn that 90's playgrounds in France were more interested 7th Heaven than we could have possibly imagined.  White Russian: 2 oz Vodka 1 oz Kah...

Send us Fan Mail This week we're joined by Morgan's college friend Kendal to talk mostly about Eric's infidelity rumors and Simon's terrible pick up game (huffing girls' hair). Plus, Mary's back at it again with another "boyfriend" Matt can't stand, who is really just a worse Jordan Catalano. Tuna casseroles, and casseroles in general as a cultural obje...

Send us Fan Mail This week we are joined by Greg's roommate Caitlin to discuss an episode focused on the unending dangers of marijuana, teenage basketball bitches, Lucy's attempts to win the favor of middle school Mila Kunis, one exceptionally strange dad (somehow not Eric), and hunting mailmen for sport. We also peer into a 1996 grocery store specializing in SnackWell products and cheap...

Send us Fan Mail Your hosts are joined by friend of the show Lawrence Kao to analyze a very spooky Halloween special. Eric's childhood "trauma" of beating up some other kid over nothing reaches a stunning conclusion, while many costumed looks are served at the church's Halloween fair. We also discuss the peculiar autumnal behavior of Southern Californians and the episode's...

Send us Fan Mail This week we sit down to discuss one of 7th Heaven's most infamous episodes, as the show confronts racism for the first time. To be honest, there's not much to joke about because the episode is outright terrible. We explore what exactly went wrong, if these types of mistakes are still a mainstay of American television, and the necessity of including minority voices in wr...

Send us Fan Mail Your hosts are joined by Greg's friend and ex-roommate Taylor to discuss a funeral-focused episode following the death of Annie's mother. Everyone in town is invited to the Camdens' house for one hell of a wake, which unexpectedly leads to nonsensical comedic bits about the pitfalls of bigamy. Meanwhile, we uncover some interesting details about Ruthie's former...

Send us Fan Mail Your hosts Greg and Morgan are joined by comedian and Annie Camden apologist Stacey Axler (@StaceyAxComedy) to discuss an action-packed Episode 3. This one has it all - tarmac dining, singalongs, malicious casserole, Simon's continued forays into bad theology, and a truly dramatic conclusion. Plus, we dive deep into several 90's relics, including the use of breath spray...