Happily Ever After is Just the Beginning

There’s a bumper sticker that my husband has adopted as his new mantra. It says, “Basically, don’t be a d*ck.” But this is often what happens when there is no accountability for bad behavior. Whether it’s dismissed as “locker room talk” or “boys will be boys”, it is doing damage to good men and healthy relationships alike. David Christel ( https://www.theessentialword.com ), author of Married Men...

There are a lot of misconceptions about marriage that create fear for many people. Marriage takes a lot of work; it requires you to give up your independence; it’s a 50/50 crap shoot; and many others. If all those things were actually true, I would be scared of marriage too. But the truth is that there is a very simple path you can take to have a successful marriage. Dr. Kelly Flanagan, clinical p...

For many, this time of year can be really stressful. Instead of being joyous and full of good cheer, many feel more like Ebenezer Scrooge. Oh, you might put a smile on your face but you’re exhausted by overwhelm and the intention of making everyone’s holidays happy whether they, or you, like it or not. The fact is we bring most of this stress on ourselves. The good news is that you have the power...

Falling in love seems easy but it’s actually quite a complicated process. So much of what makes someone irresistible is the result of unseen forces picked up over your lifetime. You’re attracted to this person, not that one. You have a type. The same things go right, and wrong, in your relationships. While it may seem that an invisible hand is at work, there is an explanation. Ira Rabois ( https:/...

Marriage gets a bad rap. It’s the butt of many jokes and many believe it’s an archaic institution that needs to be ended. The truth is humans crave connection. The desire to love and be loved drives both reality and stories that have been told for centuries. Marriage is a formalization of that desire and, when done well, has positive impact on health, wealth and happiness. Alysse ElHage ( https://...

Is “Busy” your answer to the question, “How are you?” For a lot of us, that seems to be the standard response. Not only does it seem to be the new normal, it seems to be the new status symbol. But accepting this as a daily practice has its costs, especially to your marriage. If you rate your marriage as fine or okay, you may be putting it on the back burner while you are “busy” with everything els...

Let’s face it. It’s fun to be in love with love. Romance sells—everything from perfume to cars. Unfortunately, all the focus on romantic love sets many of us for failure at lasting love. That’s because too many people don’t know that romantic love is not enough. Moving past this first love into real love is what will sustain a couple through the years. If you don’t know what that is, then you’re i...

The search for what keeps relationships thriving drives magazine sales but can seem as improbable as finding the Holy Grail. But no more. The truth is actually much simpler than many realize. Even better, it doesn’t even have anything to do with your partner. You have the ability to increase your influence and your attractiveness in a way that supports and protects your relationship. Life Coach Sh...

Women often accept the role as caretaker of their marriages. And many husbands let them. This sets up an imbalance that results in 67% of divorces being initiated by women. In truth, both partners have ownership in what the marriage looks like and responsibility for making it work. Frankly, neither gender has a monopoly on having the right answer. In today’s show, Deborah Demander ( https://paired...

  Being a man doesn’t mean being an unfeeling robot. That’s an outdated and very unhealthy box to put men in. Men feel. They just haven’t been encouraged to show it outside of sports. They also show emotion differently than women do so it can often be misunderstood or missed completely. But to be a man is to be a human and humans have emotions. It’s time to invite men to connect with their emotion...

Do you and your partner have difficulty communicating? If you said, “Yes”, you’re not alone. Good communication is a necessary component of a successful relationship. It builds trust and a sense of security between the two of you. Unfortunately, most couples communicate at what the surface level. They engage in what I call “information exchange”. If you only talk to each other in five-minute incre...

Almost all relationships start out in a good place. Unfortunately, many of them don’t stay that way. Not much is worse than feeling alone when you’re in a relationship. But staying that way is a choice too many people make. Much of what they try to do to fix it doesn’t work. That’s because the focus is on the wrong person. Dr. Darlene Lancer ( https://www.whatiscodependency.com/) , Marriage and Fa...

Marriage used to be about societal and financial stability. It also was about continuing the species. Now it’s about love and personal satisfaction. In the olden days, everyone knew their roles, whether they liked them or not. Today, marriage seems to be a free-for-all and, in some viewpoints, in free-fall. But, it doesn’t have to be as difficult and confusing as it seems to make it work. Dr. Stev...

There are all types of betrayal—infidelity, financial, porn, abuse, lying, and more. They all hurt. A lot. The pain can be so bad you may feel like it can’t possibly stop. Your life as you know it is over. But what if it doesn’t mean your relationship has to. I know, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” right? Not necessarily. There can be a way back but there are certain things that must happen fir...

Rules for romantic relationships, especially marriage, have been in a state of flux. Feminism and the #MeToo movement have brought dramatic changes. Some of that has been positive but it also has brought about real challenges. Concepts of masculinity and femininity have been under the microscope with suggestions that they no longer serve any purpose. But is that true? Or is that just a simplistic...

Research shows that married people have more and better sex than single people. Yes, it helps to have a potential partner. But that doesn’t always mean they are interested. This is just as true for men as it for women. Being present, willing, and ready to connect intimately is a choice. It’s a choice you get to make each and every day, no longer how long you have been together. Dr. Stephen Snyder,...

Your reflexive reaction might be to say YES! But what if you were wrong. There are all kinds of lies and betrayals—infidelity, money secrets, addiction, omitting pertinent details because they weren’t specifically asked about. None of it is okay and all of it hurts. When you’re in that pain, it may be very difficult to see a way forward that isn’t just out of the relationship. Certified Sexual Int...

Have you ever followed the “don’t go to bed angry” advice with your partner? How did it work out for you? If you’re like most people, not only did your issue not get resolved, it probably ended up in a fight. There are lots of things wrong with this advice. Social-personality psychologist and the author of Between You and Me, Dr. Amie M. Gordon ( https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/experts/amie-m-g...

You hear it all the time: Marriage takes work. But what if there was something you could easily do everyday that would make it easier? Guess what? There is. It doesn’t cost any money and you don’t even need to leave your house. Dr. Erin Leyba ( http://erinleyba.com ), Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the author of Joy Fixes for Weary Parents, reveals and discusses this “miracle” action. Send yo...

Expectations are the gremlins of relationships. This is true mostly because our expectations live in our subconscious. They develop over our lifetimes and masquerade as truth and belief, but we act as if they are real. Even positive expectations can create challenges for us. Dr. Wendy Patrick ( http://wendypatrickphd.com ), an attorney with a PhD. in theology, explains the challenges expectations...

Do you ever feel like you’re in a “push me/pull you” relationship with your partner? Are you afraid your relationship will end so you either hang on to your partner with everything you’ve got or hold them at arm’s length so it won’t hurt so much when it ends? When things aren’t going great, do you question if your partner is “the one”? Psychotherapist Sarah Murphy ( https://transformative-therapy....

The quality of our relationships determine how content we are with our lives. So, what happens in marriage and other romantic relationships is important. How both men and women experience them matters. Unfortunately, too many people believe that men either don’t care about them or their perceptions aren’t as important as women’s. Martin Brossman ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2bZJ31nMEhLkbQ2q...

Having a successful marriage is a balancing act, much like riding a bicycle. You must develop the ability to even out the pull between keeping yourself separate and disappearing into togetherness. This is the biggest challenge to marriage that there is. But, much like riding a bike, once you get a feel for that balance, maintaining it becomes relatively effortless. The key to finding this equilibr...

When relationships are new, there is a lot of focus on doing things for each other. Over time, this behavior tends to fade out. But all relationships are reciprocal; they are a function of reasonable give and take. How each person perceives this reciprocity will determine how happy they feel with the relationship. Dr. David Ludden (Why%20Doing Things For Your Partner Isn’t a “Sacrifice”), professo...

It’s said that honesty is the best policy. Since intimacy is based on trust and trust is based on honesty, this is a good idea if you want a good relationship. But secrets and lies and the betrayal they cause can bring about the death of a marriage. Sometimes this happens immediately and sometimes it just takes the passion out of it. Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Darlene Lancer ( https://www.w...