Happily Ever After is Just the Beginning

Regular sex and deeper intimacy are two of the benefits of a good marriage. There are lots of jokes about marriage being a place where sex goes to die, but, if you are in a sexless marriage, it’s not at all funny. There are lots of reasons why this might be happening and it’s important to understand them so your marriage can be all you want it to be. Relationship Coach Lisa Merlo-Booth ( http://li...

Okay, maybe that’s just my take on the idea that a man and woman are supposed to live in harmony for many years. Not that I don’t think it’s possible. But there are some basics that need to be accepted by both people if it’s going to work. Being the mother of a son and a daughter, I can tell you that there are some inherent differences at play. Author and relationship and sex expert Wendy Newman (...

We’re a nation of comparers. Do our job, house, kids, marriage stack up against our friends’, family’s, co-workers’? Unfortunately, most of us are comparing our reality to other people’s highlight reels. The question isn’t how we fare against others, but how content am I with my life? People get married for all kinds of reasons but mostly because they have found someone they want to build a life w...

Research shows that married people have more and better sex than single people. Yes, it helps to have a potential partner. But that doesn’t always mean they are interested. This is just as true for men as it for women. Being present, willing, and ready to connect intimately is a choice. It’s a choice you get to make each and every day, no longer how long you have been together. Dr. Stephen Snyder,...

In Anna Karenina, Tolstoy wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Unfortunately, many of us had some dysfunction in the homes where we grew up. Most of us accept it as “just the way it was” but that underestimates its impact on our current relationships. Who you become romantically involved with and how that relationship plays out are influenced both...

I know, I know, it’s not even October and I’m talking about the holidays. I get it. I’m a “take one holiday at a time” gal and the Halloween decorations haven’t even been picked over yet. But, it’s never too early to develop a plan for getting through the end-of-year holiday season without losing your mind. The fact is we bring most of this stress on ourselves. The good news is that you have the p...

You’ve probably heard somewhere that we all either marry our mom or our dad. Since I had a great mother-in-law, this wasn’t a horrible thought for me. But what if you’re seeing your spouse as a reincarnation of your parent and that’s not a good thing? It’s important to know that it’s part of what your brain is wired to do. But, while it might be normal, that doesn’t mean it isn’t causing problems....

To borrow from Archie Bunker, those were the days when girls were girls and men were men. In many ways, it’s good those days are gone. Men and women are moving past the traditional roles that stifled both genders. This has not been without consequence because some of that tradition is grounded in biology. This overlooked factor can come as a surprise in a romantic relationship. Men are often confu...

Women want men to be open and intimate. To share their thoughts and feelings. To really connect. Unfortunately, the capacity for intimacy that men are born with has been socialized out of them. The good news? It can be relearned. Randell Turner ( https://unbreakablebond.org ), Child and Family Therapist and founder of Unbreakable Bond, explains why this is important and how to do it. Share the sho...

Do you struggle to ask for (or receive) help? If you’re like many people, the answer is yes. We’ve been taught that independence and self-reliance are the ultimate goals. Asking for, in fact even needing, help is a form of weakness. But we all need help. True self-reliance is a myth. It also may be destroying your relationship. Relationship educator and co-founder of the Healthy Humans Project ( h...

Marriage seems really scary to a lot of people. Maybe even you. Imagine if you knew that you had the power to make your marriage be however you want it to be. Well, you do! You come equipped with everything you need to live a happy, loving life, including having a great marriage. Rachel Henke, The Fearless Transformation Coach and bestselling author, is here to talk to you about the Superpowers we...

If you live in fear of hurting your partner’s feelings, your marriage is being run by feelings—and not yours. Not being honest about how you feel or what you need means you are not being a partner in your marriage. You may have been taught that including you in the equation makes you selfish. But that is absolutely untrue. Psychotherapist and author Sean Grover ( http://www.seangrover.com/) reveal...

Conflict, like fighting, is a word that can be difficult to view as positive. Surprise! It can be. Change it to disagreement and it loses some of its power. Embrace it as a natural state between any two people (spouses included) and it becomes an opportunity to learn about each other. Mediator and author of The Science Advice Goddess column and the science-based book Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to...

You’ve asked your partner to do something different. Or, maybe, your partner has asked you to. The two of you might even agree that the change will help your relationship. You also agree to make the change and then, …. you find yourself doing the same old thing. No matter how inclined you are to make the change, sticking with it seems impossible. The good news is you’re perfectly normal. Change, e...

Beauty may be only skin deep but being healthy isn’t. Having a healthy relationship requires both partners to be healthy—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yes, vows are taken for better or worse, for richer or poorer, and in sickness and in health, but the former are easier to manage than the latter. All are also subjective, but it doesn’t make them less important. Physical health and attract...

A recent study showed that the happiest, healthiest marriages are the ones where the relationship is made a top priority. Unfortunately, many people (especially women) think they must give up who they are for this to happen. The truth is, if you do this, you will doom your marriage to failure. Learning how to be an individual and be part of something bigger is possible. Lifestyle Coach Sherry VanA...

Ever been shamed about having emotions? The truth is most of us have at one time or another. Our society worships at the altar of logic but the advertising industry exists because it aims at our emotions. Yes, emotions are messy. They are often confusing and painful. But they are also the glue that holds relationships together and allow us to have dimension in our lives. Psychologist and Harvard l...

Every couple disagrees and these disagreements often escalate to arguments or, worse, out and out fights. Each of you is some combination of hurt, angry, and frustrated. You will calm down but how do you reconnect? How do you keep this from becoming a rift that undermines your relationship? How do you forgive and heal? Dr. Daniel Wile ( http://danwile.com/) , Clinical Psychologist and an Assistant...

Most couples never expect infidelity to occur in their relationships. But they also don’t really talk about it. It’s kind of taken for granted which is why it can be hard, but not impossible, to recover from. The best thing is for it to never happen in the first place. But, short of crossing one’s fingers and hoping for the best, is there really anything that can minimize the risk to your relation...

Like many either/or, black/white, yes/no options, the focus on whether masculinity is good or bad is a false choice. It is both and neither. That’s because, like most things, it is more complicated than that. The real focus shouldn’t be on an ill-defined concept, but on whether behavior is productive or not. There are harmful aspects of masculinity just as there are harmful aspects of femininity....

Marriage is no longer a requirement for social acceptance or financial security. Love is the reason most people state as the primary reason to enter this arrangement today. To the surprise of many, love is often not enough to create the equal partnership most couples desire. The ongoing battle of who does what around the house is just one example of the way many marriages fall short of the egalita...

Many marriages suffer due to the inability of spouses to balance their own needs as individuals with the needs of being part of a couple. But is it really a question of remaining independent versus becoming dependent? Can you be married and still hold on to who you are? What would that look like? Dr. Darlene Lancer, ( http://darlenelancer.com ) marriage and family therapist and the author of Codep...

One of the biggest challenges to a marriage is “right” fighting. If one of you is “right”, by definition the other must be wrong. Taken to its natural conclusion, this becomes a belief in your infallibility and sets in motion the demise of your relationship. You may think that your way of cutting up onions or doing the laundry is the only “right” way to do it. But the more you insist on being in a...

With apologies to Shakespeare, would a relationship by any other name be as sweet? The truth is that our entire lives are made up of relationships—romances, friendships, family, and work. They have their differences but there are also aspects common to all. The greatest common denominator is you. This conveys both power and opportunity. You hold the secret to success in all your relationships. Emp...

In a patriarchal world, it can be hard to even acknowledge, let alone whip up any sympathy, for ways in which men struggle. When you’re at the top of the food chain, it’s hard to imagine any significant challenges getting in your way. Believe it or not, men’s struggle to access their feelings in an authentic way is harmful to everyone. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Life and Relationship Ninj...