Hangin' Out with the Old Fellas

In a feeble attempt to boost ratings, and against legal advice, Jerry makes an on-air confession - to everything! Shooting JFK. Faking the moon landing. The Napoleonic Wars. Cue the tell-all tome. Complete the medley. Split the light spectrum. Meh. A typical day really ...

After an enforced hiatus, Baz n Jez make a comeback. Plenty of headlines. Plenty of updates. Plenty of hangin' out. It might be summer romance season, but the arranged marriage to James Packer is OFF!

All the Attrick action from the 5 Rings Festival - packed into one Gold Gold Gold episode. All the thigh-strangling lycra you can poke a stick at. And with the Old Fellas' commentary, there's very little left to the imagination.

No faffing about, Hangers - chalk up a red letter day! Albo justifies his existence - and his out-of-control hairdressing costs. But we'll overlook it on this occasion. Qantas gets it wrong (again), but Elon gets it right. So, we can all sleep again. Meanwhile, Morty Geigercounter's pacemaker short circuits - and Jerry does Gerry! Liverpool FC will never be the same.

Denzel of Dubbo's ashes have a birthday. The hired assassin misses again! Underpants have a day out! Oh - and not to mention: Debbie's Boobs! Meanwhile, we await the return of the sausages. So, let's celebrate! You, me and the Sailor - over a glass of champagne!

Well!!! You never know what you'll find in ya Morning Motion - if you look close enough. A bloody great Cetacean! A true Whippomorphian! Barry questions its motives, but Jerry just accepts its presence. In fact - he feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes ...

It's the veneration of today's Aussie athletes and the demise of yesterday's. No fear, Hangers! Barry and Jerry have all the highs, the lows and the in-betweens. Especially the in-betweens. Get your baggy pants on sports fans - it's silly dance time!

It's the Festival of the Five Rings - Spindly Pines style. Let's scull some steroid soup, grab a paddle and a pair of togs, then head off to Paris representing Aussie octogenarianism. Doing what octogenarians do best - whingeing, gettin' it wrong and falling asleep mid-senten ..........ce ... The situation is tailor made!

Yes - everyone's ducking bullets. Someone's dunking the wife. And Jerry's dodging the rain but not the pain, in a heart fluttering tribute to an entire continent.

Spindly Pines Governors decide the Attricks are redundant. So Barry and Jerry go into hiding. Yes, it's the podcast from the crypt, Hangers! Now if they can just find the can opener! Jerry has to play it cold - and amber. Break out the Pepper Potts!

It's not easy to be made redundant at Spindly Pines Nursing Home. But that's a good reason for the Attrick Brothers to give it a go. Along the way, there's a bit of Dicky Knee action. A bit of Apollo 8 inaction. ABBA get crowned - or something. And Australian cricket goes the wobbly. Man! I feel like a lie down!

This time it's: Ad Libitum Ad Infinitum. More Latin rhythms. More Lorem Ipsum with noise. The addendum to the compendium to the appendix. Jerry turns off his mind to commit utter sacrilege! He is now condemned to eternity in the Void.

This is: Ad Libitum Ad Nauseum! Jerry and Barry get in touch with their Latin rhythms. Lorem Ipsum - but with sound! There's National Gallery controversy. Ticketmaster controversy. And Corona Virus silliness ... again! It all takes its toll on the Aussie swim team. Again!

Once again the Old Fellas get painted in gold, 007-style. The Attricks recycle a Grammy or three, Mr Analovski gets named Contortionist of the Week, and Jerry's butt transfigurates into the 5th Dimension! Someone! Dettol!

It was the best of sportz. It was the worst of sportz. Talk about an age of wisdom! And then, there's the Attrick Brothers - Barry and Jerry. Yes Hangers! This is a rehash - days of Sportz Past! A bunch of Old Fella Sportz commentary! Spelt with a 'z' to avoid getting a copyright strike - from ourselves! Gold! Gold! Gold to Spindly PInes!

Yep! Jerry called it - someone drugged the soup! And what does Melbourne get in return? Jabba, Twiggy and their decadent entourage! I dunno - it's all just too low for zero!

Who'da thought 50 years could get past us?! Yes, it's a quick Attrick celebration of the 70s, whacky chemicals included. Then a quick Attrick celebration of all things marathoning. Followed by a lot of plunging and plummeting! But hey - that's life on the edge ... wooooooh! Watch-under!!!! (Just don't mention Sam Kerr ...)

Baz is back! Easter is back! VIP Airforce Jet travel is back! Even those Chinese Golden Waving Cats are back! And who knows why. Probably just because …

Barry's procedure went splendidly, but he's warned off microphones 'til the scarring ripens ... which'll be a while coz it's grey at the moment. Anyway, thanks for the cards and chocolates. I ate them all before I got them to Barry, so I'm not sure whether to tell him. What'dya think viewers? Let's take a vote - no more monkee'ing around!

So! Barry's orf! Having "the procedure" ... So here's some impromptu bits we prepared earlier. Mouth in gear before brain - guaranteed. Someone call the media!

Special effects! Special guests! Special specials! And that's just the introduction! It's all to celebrate the collapse of Western Civilisation. And just for the kiddies, Jerry guzzles down the most difficult song parody - EVER! Good Lord, that's moist!

It's happened again, viewers! Damned censorship board took one sample of Episode 50 and voted with a resounding, "Nyet!" As in, 'Not yet.' So it was Matron's turn to attack the original cassette tape with the safety scissors. And hey presto - there goes 3 minutes! Never to be found again.

The International Awards judges sent us an S.O.S asking for a 10 minute trailer, that describes what the Old Fellas podcast is all about. A few highlights. A general summary. Some good examples. In the end, we did this instead ...

Yes hangers! It's the new and improved Episode 49 ... New parody and everything! The censor stuck a skewer through the old Episode 49! So, librarian grabbed the safety scissors and snipped out the offending bits. Now Episode 49 is leaner, shorter - tastier! And that never goes out of style.

When the Attrick Brothers do it, they REALLY do it. But just what the hell, is "IT"? I dunno. Ask Stephen King. Or the Addams Family. Rest assured Matron & Librarian will ruin the Attrick reputation with these random snippets. So nothing's wasted. (Except Mavis, but that's a story for episode one ...)