Habits on Purpose

Have you ever tried to change by simply thinking a new thought, only to feel frustrated when the change doesn't happen as easily as promised? The idea that if you just change your thoughts, you can change your life has been a cornerstone of personal development for years. But what if it's not the whole story?   In this episode, I'm revisiting a concept from an early episode, where I taught "thinki...

Have you ever received a compliment or acknowledged a success, only to immediately deflect or downplay it? Or perhaps you've accomplished something meaningful but instead of feeling proud, you start to focus on what could have been better? This tendency to minimize our strengths and dismiss our progress can be so automatic that we don't even realize we're doing it.   In this episode, I explore why...

Have you ever been so angry about something, voiced your concerns, advocated for a solution, maybe even cried over it, only to have nothing change? The situation remains the same, the person doesn't budge, and your anger lingers, leaving you stuck. What now? In this episode, I explore the exhaustion that comes when we're angry about something that won't shift.   You'll discover why anger becomes e...

Have you ever noticed a behavior or pattern that you know you should change, but you just can't seem to? Whether it's scrolling aimlessly on your phone or saying yes to commitments you don't want, that moment of recognition is where change begins. But what if that moment of awareness, even without immediate change, is more powerful than you think?   In this episode, I revisit one of the foundation...

When your emotions feel overwhelming, pushing them away seems like the only option. That familiar tightness in your chest, the urge to fix everything immediately, the exhaustion that comes from constantly suppressing what you feel - these experiences shape how you move through each day.    Through this episode, you'll discover how to relate to your emotions as messengers carrying vital information...

Have you ever had one of those days when things just take longer than you expected? Maybe a task that should have taken 30 minutes ends up consuming hours, and suddenly, you're behind on everything. It's easy to start feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or frustrated when your plans go sideways.   In this episode, I share a simple framework to help you navigate these moments without getting caught in a...

What is nourishing you these days? In this light and reflective episode, I share a curated collection of simple pleasures and meaningful concepts that are currently bringing joy and stability to my life. From practical travel items to philosophical insights, these are the elements helping me navigate daily life with more groundedness and connection.   As summer approaches, I'm finding deep appreci...

For natural-born fixers and problem solvers, the instinct to tackle every challenge head-on is deeply ingrained. Whether facing procrastination, overwhelm, or late-night scrolling habits, the immediate response is often to search for a solution.   In this episode, I explore why the concept of "fixing yourself" may be counterproductive when it comes to creating lasting change. Drawing from Internal...

Do you reflect on your experiences with self-criticism? In this episode, I revisit a powerful narrative technique called the "Once-Upon-a-Time" technique that helps you gain perspective on challenging situations and cultivate self-compassion. This two-part reflective practice transforms how you view your experiences by allowing you to step back and observe yourself through the lens of a neutral ob...

Why do I know exactly what to do but still don't do it? This frustrating disconnect between intellectual understanding and actual behavior isn't a sign of weakness or laziness. It's a common human experience that has logical explanations beneath the surface.   In this episode, I explore the knowing-doing gap – that puzzling space where we intellectually understand what would help us, but can't see...

Do you feel like your urges seem to have a mind of their own? Those compelling impulses to check your phone, eat something sweet, or pour another glass of wine often feel like unwelcome intruders in our carefully planned lives. However, urges aren't problems to fix—they're messengers trying to communicate something important.   I'll share a powerful metaphor that changed how I understand urges, al...

Do you try to fix or suppress your anger, and feel guilty if you can't? Many of us have been taught to see anger as shameful, unprofessional, or even dangerous. As a result, we bottle it up, push it down, and try to ignore it. The cost of burying anger is emotional exhaustion and disconnection from ourselves.    In this episode, I share a different approach to anger – one that views it not as a li...

Do you ever feel like you've lost touch with who you really are? That somewhere along the way, between the endless to-do lists, caring for others, and just trying to survive each day, you've forgotten what makes you feel alive?   This episode offers a compassionate look at why we lose ourselves and practical steps to find our way back. I'll share why our disconnection makes perfect sense, how our...

Have you ever felt like there's a committee of conflicting voices in your head, each pulling you in different directions? In this episode, I explore a deceptively simple yet powerful approach: treating the different parts of your mind as if they were actual people.    I share a practical pen-and-paper exercise that helps externalize what's swirling in your mind, giving you perspective on your inne...

Have you ever wondered what's actually holding you back from changing your most frustrating habits? As a natural problem-solver and detective at heart, I've discovered that our most persistent habits aren't just behaviors to be modified, they're symptoms of deeper burdens our internal parts are carrying.   Today, I'm sharing a powerful framework that offers genuine hope for lasting change. The con...

Have you ever felt something uncomfortable and immediately wanted to make it go away? I know that feeling all too well. When discomfort arises—whether it's anxiety, shame, or frustration—my first instinct is to fix it as quickly as possible. It's like having a reflex that kicks in before I can even think about it.   In today's episode, I explore why this fixing reflex, though completely natural, o...

Have you ever felt so stuck that you don't know which way is up or down? That disorienting feeling where you're bewildered about how to take even the first step forward? It's a frustrating place to be, cycling through thoughts of "I have no clue what to do" while flitting between half-completed tasks instead of tackling what truly matters.   In today's episode, I'm offering you a lifeline for thos...

Have you ever felt like different parts of your personality are in conflict, pulling you in opposite directions? Inside each of us exists a complex system of thoughts, emotions, and impulses that can sometimes feel like a crowded vehicle with multiple drivers trying to take the wheel.   In this episode, I explore a simple yet powerful analogy using Internal Family Systems (IFS) that compares our m...

Why do we keep repeating habits, even when we desperately want to stop? If you've ever found yourself thinking, "Why can't I just have more willpower?" when trying to change a deeply ingrained behavior, there's a deeper reason behind it. Breaking old habits isn't about willpower, it's about understanding why they exist in the first place.   In today's episode, I use Internal Family Systems (IFS) t...

Have you ever felt like your emotions are pulling you in a million different directions at once? Like there's a tug-of-war going on inside your head between conflicting thoughts and feelings? This kind of inner tension is a totally normal part of the human experience.   In this episode, I explore a powerful technique for gaining clarity and perspective when you're feeling overwhelmed by your emoti...

Have you ever found yourself bottling up emotions all day, only to have them burst out later in a way that surprises you? Do you dismiss or intellectualize your feelings instead of truly experiencing them? If you struggle with avoiding certain emotions, you're not alone.   In this episode, we build upon a recent episode's theme of emotional avoidance. Instead of avoiding feelings, what if you coul...

Do you ever catch yourself pushing through exhaustion, pretending you're fine, or feeling guilty for even thinking about taking a break? This week, I'm resharing my conversation with Dr. Erica Howe, founder of the Women Physicians Wellness Conference, to explore what happens when we let go of the habit of keeping up a facade.   Dr. Howe shares her personal story of feeling overwhelmed, the pivotal...

Do you ever find yourself compartmentalizing or ignoring certain emotions, desires, or experiences that feel unwelcome or uncomfortable? It's a complex habit that many of us engage in without even realizing it. In this episode, we dive deep into the sneaky ways we might be dismissing parts of ourselves and the impact this can have on our well-being.   Join me as we explore the root causes of this...

Do you ever feel like you set a goal, but weeks or months go by and nothing has really changed? You wonder how you've been so unproductive and if you're just avoiding the work or self-sabotaging. If this sounds familiar, I have an approach that can help.   In this episode, I introduce the concept of "Future You Thinking" and share four practical strategies to simplify task initiation, reduce overw...

Do you ever feel like your to-do list is a never-ending source of stress and frustration? You're not alone. Despite our best efforts, it's all too common to end the day feeling behind and overwhelmed, even if we've accomplished a lot.    In this episode, you'll learn how to do a reality check on your list, ensure you're not falling into the trap of magical thinking, and infuse your day with a sens...