Habits on Purpose

Join me this week as I offer you a different approach to understanding and changing your habits. I'm showing you how to unwire a habit that isn't serving you so you can rewire a new one with sticking power, and my simple 3-step process for exploring and uncovering what's really going on.   Get the full show notes and more information here:  https://habitsonpurpose.com/37   Join the Habits on Purpo...

Did you know that you are one human made up of multiple personalities, or parts, that interact internally, much like people interact in the external world? This is what Internal Family Systems (IFS) teaches us. These parts are responsible for the bulk of your habits, so when you understand these parts or personalities better, you have the secret to understanding your habits.   This week, discover...

Do you ever find yourself compartmentalizing or ignoring certain emotions, desires, or experiences that feel unwelcome or uncomfortable? It's a complex habit that many of us engage in without even realizing it. In this episode, we dive deep into the sneaky ways we might be dismissing parts of ourselves and the impact this can have on our well-being.   Join me as we explore the root causes of this...

Do you ever feel like you set a goal, but weeks or months go by and nothing has really changed? You wonder how you've been so unproductive and if you're just avoiding the work or self-sabotaging. If this sounds familiar, I have an approach that can help.   In this episode, I introduce the concept of "Future You Thinking" and share four practical strategies to simplify task initiation, reduce overw...

Do you ever feel like your to-do list is a never-ending source of stress and frustration? You're not alone. Despite our best efforts, it's all too common to end the day feeling behind and overwhelmed, even if we've accomplished a lot.    In this episode, you'll learn how to do a reality check on your list, ensure you're not falling into the trap of magical thinking, and infuse your day with a sens...

How can you overcome habits that insidiously take more than they give? In this episode, I explore three common habits that quietly create unnecessary stress: multitasking, shoehorning too much into too little time, and holding too tightly to an original plan even when a better option becomes available. These patterns often feel reasonable in the moment, but they can leave us feeling overwhelmed, r...

What happens when you combine positive qualities on purpose? In this episode, I explore the idea of stacking positive qualities for a synergistic effect and how certain pairings can support more meaningful and sustainable change. Rather than relying on willpower or rigid habit hacks, I'm sharing a more flexible and compassionate approach to working with difficult habits and patterns.         I wal...

Why do the qualities you want most, like confidence, calm, clarity, or patience, often feel so difficult to access consistently? In this episode, I break down the practical process of intentionally cultivating the qualities that matter most to you. Moving from simply wanting change to actually creating it requires more than inspiration. It requires clarity, strategy, and a deeper understanding of...

What actually makes a good life, especially in the midst of ordinary stress and complexity? In this episode, I explore the positive qualities that help us move beyond simply surviving and into a more grounded, thriving way of being. Rather than focusing only on reducing suffering, I'm highlighting the life-giving qualities that help us navigate reality with greater strength, wisdom, and purpose.  ...

Why do the habits and reactions you most want to change often feel so difficult to shift? In this episode, I wrap up the Internal Family Systems (IFS) series by exploring how to move beyond simply noticing your inner parts and begin building a more intentional relationship with them. Understanding your parts is important, but real transformation happens when you start to work with them rather than...

Why is it so hard to notice what's actually driving your reactions in the moment? In this episode, we continue the conversation on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and take a deeper look at the inner parts that shape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often without your awareness.           You'll be introduced to a wider range of common parts, from approval-seeking and compare-and-despair to ov...

Why do you keep doing things that don't make sense, even when you know better? In this episode, I'm introducing you to a powerful way of understanding yourself through Internal Family Systems (IFS), and how recognizing your inner parts can shift how you make sense of your thoughts, emotions, and habits.             We'll explore what it means to have different "parts" of yourself and how these par...

Do you ever find yourself stuck in habits that just don't seem to serve you anymore? Maybe they're automatic behaviors that have become ingrained over time, but deep down, you know they're holding you back. In this episode, I'm sharing the psychological reasons behind these habits and offering strategies for how you can start shifting them intentionally.     When habits are automatic, they often f...

Why does self-compassion feel so uncomfortable, even when you know it would help? For many of us, being hard on ourselves feels more productive, more honest, and even more motivating than offering ourselves understanding. In this episode, I explore why self-compassion can feel so difficult to access and what's actually happening when you resist it.        I walk through the common misconceptions t...

Do you ever find yourself stuck, overthinking a task you know you could do but just can't seem to start? Whether it's something small and tedious or a bigger project, that feeling of overwhelm can quickly turn into avoidance. In this episode, I'm sharing a simple but powerful technique I call Project Low-Hanging Fruit to help you move out of paralysis and into action.      When a task feels like t...

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by big emotions like anger or frustration? When emotions take over, it can feel hard to regain control. In today's episode, I'm going to share a simple but powerful tool from Internal Family Systems (IFS): using the language of parts.       It's a practice of separating your emotions from your sense of self, allowing you to respond in a way that's calm and del...

Do you find yourself saying yes when you already feel stretched too thin? In this episode, I unpack why saying no can feel so uncomfortable, even when you know it's what you need.   For many high achievers, the difficulty isn't just about time or logistics, it's rooted in deeper fears about how we'll be perceived, how relationships might change, and what it might mean about us if we don't show up...

What if the habits you struggle with most are actually attempts to help you? In this episode, I revisit a powerful way of understanding habits through the lens of Internal Family Systems and the idea of using "the most generous interpretation," a concept popularized by Dr. Becky Kennedy. When we look at our patterns this way, habits stop looking like flaws and start looking like strategies that on...

Anger is often seen as something to avoid or suppress, but what if I told you it's actually an emotion that can offer valuable insights? In this episode, we'll explore how to rethink your relationship with anger and use it as a powerful tool for growth and clarity.      For many of us, anger is tied to shame or the belief that it's an emotion we should hide. However, when we embrace anger as a sig...

When you think of trauma, do you picture only extreme, life-threatening events? In this episode, I expand the definition of trauma and explain why many high achievers unknowingly overlook their own experiences. Trauma isn't defined only by what happened, but by how your nervous system responded when you felt overwhelmed, powerless, or alone.      I break down the difference between Big T and small...

Do you take forever to make decisions, only to second-guess yourself once you finally choose? In this episode, I unpack why analysis paralysis feels so intense and how the belief that there is one right decision quietly fuels decision block, overthinking, procrastination, and chronic comparison.      I offer a practical shift that makes decisiveness possible: letting go of the idea that there is o...

Curiosity gets a lot of praise, but not all curiosity actually leads to change. In this episode, I introduce the concept of pragmatic curiosity and explain why simply understanding yourself better isn't always enough to shift long-standing habits.      I walk you through what true curiosity is and what it isn't, including how curiosity can quietly turn into judgment, fixing, or endless analysis. Y...

When you're feeling stuck, stressed, or overwhelmed, the right question can shift everything. In today's episode, I share a list of my favorite productive questions that help me get unstuck, tap into curiosity, and break free from confusion. These questions are the antidote to overthinking, indecision, and self-doubt.      Our habitual thought patterns often keep us in a loop of stress and overwhe...

Most habits aren't random or self-sabotaging. They're signals. In this episode, I explore the deeper needs and desires hidden beneath your habits and why understanding those needs is one of the most overlooked keys to lasting habit change. When you only focus on stopping a behavior, you miss the reason it's there in the first place.     I explain how habits like procrastination, self-criticism, pe...

We've all experienced the struggle of trying to figure out whether something is a "yes" or a "no." In this episode, I dive into how to discern the difference between what aligns with your core desires and values and what doesn't. You might think it's obvious, but in reality, it can be surprisingly tricky.      The tension between saying yes when you really mean no — or vice versa — often stems fro...