Habits for Your Happily Ever After: Relationship Communication Advice

How can you use a food truck at your wedding or summer party to save money and create a fun vibe? In episode 50 my son, Logan, and I talked about eloping and how laughter helps in your relationship communication. He's back as a guest to offer his wisdom as a food truck owner. It's officially wedding season and Logan has some advice about to handle food at your wedding. In this bonus episode, you’l...

Do you struggle in your relationship to communicate about problems without being a jerk? How does laughter impact your relationship communication? It comes easily to my son, Logan. It's his superpower. I'm thrilled to have him as a guest on the podcast to celebrate the milestone of my 50th episode. Logan's superpower helps him be a better husband. In this episode you'll hear: Logan's elopement sto...

Why are you sometimes thrilled to follow your sweetheart’s lead and sometimes you run in the other direction? Or worse: push your sweetheart away when they make a suggestion? In this episode, we’re going to talk about the powerful difference between an invitation and an agenda. We’ll look at the difference between an invitation which feels like a hand extended and an agenda which feels like a big,...

Do you and your partner take on certain roles in your relationship? Today my guest is Chantel Landeros , founding partner and psychotherapist at Thrive Marriage & Family Counseling in Grand Junction, Colorado. In this episode, Chantel talks about how remaining curious will keep you from feeling stuck in a relationship role. You’ll hear: Why establishing roles in your relationship helps to unco...

What is pleasure? Why does it matter? How does feeling pleasure impact you? Impact your relationship? In this episode, you’ll hear from transformational coach and author, Kirstin Hotelling Zona . Kirstin left the safety of her tenure-track position as a professor—complete with the security of lifelong health benefits to follow her desire: wherever that desire leads her. You’ll hear: Why following...

What do you notice when your partner forgets to clean the kitchen? Do you add it to the list of evidence that your partner is bad at doing the housework? Or do you get curious about your partner's perspective on why they didn't do the chore? In this episode, you'll hear about the power of noticing in your relationship. When you can notice without judgment, your relationship will undergo an enormou...

Why does self-care play such a vital role in your relationship? If you feel like you are living beyond your capacity, it may be getting in the way of your self-care. And when you're not taking care of yourself, it can harm your relationship. In this episode, we'll talk about how to decide what's important to you so you can avoid relationship conflict. You’ll hear a story about my dog and how I lea...

If you've ever wondered when to intervene with your child and when to let go and trust them to know what's good for them, this episode is for you. Allison Evans joins us again to offer clarity on why staying out of your child's business is actually the caring thing to do. In this episode: You'll hear about how the age-old struggle of nourishing your child can be helped by staying out of your child...

My guest today, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, lives into this question. Her son, Finn, died by suicide two and a half years ago.  The pain Rosemerry felt was extreme. Her world crumbled. In this episode: You'll hear about how hurt can disguise love You'll learn how to use your love-translator You'll understand the importance of being patient with yourself and your spouse when you're in pain Conn...

Don't you wish this were true?? When you have unspoken expectations of your partner, it feels bad for both of you. My guest today, Allison Evans , promises you’ll feel much freer if you stay in your own business. In this episode: You’ll hear a different perspective about the struggle for fairness when it comes to chores You’ll realize why you might be creating your own frustration, and how to stop...

What happens in your marriage when life falls apart? In the last three years, Chris and Sarah Dedmon have faced a mountain of grief including the loss of two parents at the same time. In this episode they talk with me about how their marriage has survived these difficult times. You'll hear: Why a clean ask will help your spouse understand your grief How your "loving lenses" can reduce the negative...

There is no right way to grieve. There is also no wrong way to grieve. How do you navigate the unpredictability of grief? I'm offering two tools to help. You'll hear: How a grief sandbox allows you to process grief that has no words Why a grief pillow can help you heal when you feel the heaviness of grief in your body Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes here. Pl...

What does it take to have a 59-year marriage? You want a lifetime of love, but how do you deal with the difficult times? Today you'll hear from Jean Hodges, my high school theatre teacher. She was married almost 6 decades before her husband, Jack died. You'll hear: About the 3 phases of love during a lifetime Why marriage is a love-laboratory and why making a clean ask is crucial even when it migh...

Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. How you handle conflict will determine the flavor of your relationship 10 years from now. Do you yell, and call your partner names? Or do you know how to be kind, even when the moment is difficult? Create a pressure relief valve so you don't blow up your relationship when conflict makes you scared or angry. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communica...

There is enough. Do you struggle with that feeling of overwhelm or scarcity? You're constantly panicked that you'll "run out" or "lose out" or somehow "miss out?" Maybe you feel like YOU'RE not enough? This bonus episode is a meditation designed to be used with episode 34. This meditation will remind you that support is all around you. You'll be guided to think of the trees who are constantly maki...

There is enough. Do you struggle with that feeling of overwhelm or scarcity? You're constantly panicked that you'll "run out" or "lose out" or somehow "miss out?" Maybe you feel like YOU'RE not enough? This bonus episode is a meditation designed to be used with episode 34. This meditation will remind you that support is all around you. You'll be guided to remember that your body knows how to breat...

Do you struggle with that feeling of overwhelm or scarcity? You're constantly panicked that you'll "run out" or "lose out" or somehow "miss out?" Maybe you feel like YOU'RE not enough? This bonus episode is a meditation designed to be used with episode 34. This meditation will remind you that you can trust your body. You can calm your body. You'll be guided to send your breath to various parts of...

What do you do when you lose control? You're a volcano and you just erupted. Would you believe that your breath--that simple thing that's always with you and you take for granted--is the best thing to help you get regulated quickly. Amygdala Hijack In this episode we talk about the amygdala hijack: why it happens and how to calm your system down. Breathing Meditation Then you'll get a hack to help...

Do you set a clear boundary in your relationship? Or are you sending mixed signals in your relationship? This episode discusses 4 ways you might be sending a mixed signal: You take the trash out yourself in spite of your agreement You criticize your spouse for not taking out the trash You drown your spouse in solutions for getting the trash to the curb You make the trash omnipotent This week’s hab...

“It doesn’t count if I have to ask for appreciation.” This is a common complaint in my coaching practice. You want your spouse to notice you cleaned the bathroom and say thank you. You go to the gym partly because you want to look good for your spouse, but then they just complain that you’re late getting home. You feel invisible when you do all that work of booking the flight, the VRBO, and arrang...

I stomped down the hall as my husband’s icy zinger bit me from behind, “We were having fun until you came home.” Ouch! He never talks that way. He’s typically so kind. But he was hurt. And I was the one who’d hurt him. How did I hurt him? I strangled him with conditions on my love, one after another until, gasping for air, he exploded. This week’s habit for your happily ever after is: Examine your...

How do you ask your partner for what you want? In today's episode we discuss The Clean Ask Formula. You'll learn how anger--if harnessed effectively--can help you ask cleanly and improve your relationship communication. This week’s habit for your happily ever after is: Strive to eliminate a dirty ask and reach for the clean ask. This week's habit is to examine your dirty asks from the past and pra...

Want to resolve conflict in your marriage communication? How do you get clear so you can avoid the typical conflict triggers that lead to poor communication? Hear about the MAJOR conflict in my marriage. Are you ready for it? It was about how my husband--even though he got up later than me--didn't make the bed. Seriously, it was a conflict that lasted decades. You'll hear all the stories I told my...

It would make it so much easier if relationship communication fears came out of your mouth wearing blue smoke. Then your partner would know to slow down and listen more carefully. But fears hide. And then fears pollute your relationship communication. 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication I've written a book! Or at least I've almost finished. This episode is a sneak peak into step 1: Overcome f...

What is a codependent relationship? And how do I transition to an interdependent relationship? This is an interview with therapists Dawn Larson and James Buchanan . They bring the wisdom of more than 40 years as professional therapists, and then they get personal. You’ll hear about the codependent relationships they both exited and how they’ve created new, interdependent, habits as they begin thei...