Grief Out Loud

Jana talks with Jenna, a participant in The Dougy Center's group for young adults, about the experience of losing her mom when she was a child and then her father, just before the start of her senior year at college.  For information about our groups for young adults, visit:  http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/help-for-young-adults/ Other great resources for young adults who are grieving: Websit...

Tips for grieving through Mother's Day Whether you want to acknowledge the day or want to ignore it, know that the lead up, for many people, is the worst part. It can help to make a plan for the days leading up to Mother's Day. If you are supporting a grieving child, talk with them and their teacher ahead of time about possible activities at school. Work with the teacher and the child to come up w...

After a death, it's not unusual for children to have an increased sense of fear and anxiety. (It's not unusual in adults, either.) When bad or sad things happen, it's natural to be afraid more bad things will happen. The questions and concerns are normal: How will we live without the person who died? Who will take care of me?  Will someone else die? Where do people go after they die?  Will I die t...

Losing and finding yourself in grief. Brendon and Jana delve into the many layers of loss that we grapple with when someone dies and how that loss can change us. When we grieve, we miss the person and who they were in our lives. We miss who we were with them. Often we miss who we were in general before the death. As we think towards the future, we grieve for the events and occasions that we won't...

Seasons change, but what about my grief? There can be a lot of emphasis on special occasions – anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, etc. when it comes to events that influence grief. Seasons and other markers of time can exert a similar effect, but can be confusing for those who are grieving – and those who support them. With an anniversary or a birthday, there's a specific day to connect with an u...

"The language we use to describe events not only reflects our own attitudes but influences those attitudes as well as the attitudes of others." --Sommer-Rotenberg, D. Donna Schuurman, Senior Director of Advocacy and Training at The Dougy Center discusses some of the difficulties of language and stigma surrounding deaths by suicide.

Living with an advanced serious illness   All in all, even under the best circumstances where families have substantial financial resources and savings, great medical and life insurances, medical knowledge,  access to great health care and multiple caregivers, an articulated living will or end of life directives,  and emotional/spiritual support, it will be an extremely challenging and life alteri...

Understanding And Supporting The Grieving Teen If you know a teen who is grieving a death, you may wonder what responses or behaviors you can expect to see and how to help. Grief is a holistic experience Grief can affect teens in many different ways: emotionally, behaviorally, cognitively, physically, and spiritually. The following are examples of how grief might look in these realms. Keep in mind...

Where did everyone go? How grief affects connections with family and friends.  This episode grew out of a few questions from the community –  Why is it common for communication to either lessen with family/close friends or strengthen after a mutual loss? Why is it easier to connect with strangers? In my family we don't talk about the person - How do I know if I can bring it up? How do I bring it u...

Valentine's Day is one of the many holidays that shift and change while grieving. As with so many other holidays, the lead-up can be really hard. Advertisements and casual conversations about plans can leave grieving people left out, or eager to flee. In this episode of Grief Out Loud, Jana and Brendon talk about strategies for approaching Valentine's Day in a way that opens up space to express lo...

Alternatives to "I'm sorry for your loss."   This episode delves into that moment when you find out about a death. Most of us don't know what to say or do, so we go turn to what we've heard others say in a similar situation, "I'm sorry for your loss." While there's nothing wrong with those words, especially when said with authenticity and full presence, it's helpful to know how that phrase affects...

"How do I tell my child about the death?" This is the most common question we receive at The Dougy Center. Someone has died, leaving parents and other adult caregivers to struggle with finding the right words to say to their children. In this episode, we outline tips for talking with children about a death. Adults can start by attending to their own reactions to the death. Often the thoughts and f...

In this episode, Jana and Brendon, answer two questions from the community. The first is from a mother of two young children who wonders what she can do with the ashes of her partner. The second from a young adult struggling with whether they should go to the funeral of a close friend's mother. In this frank conversation, we discuss common and not so common options for what to do with ashes and ou...

In this episode of Grief Out Loud, Jana and Brendon discuss some of the current mythology surrounding grief timelines. We demystify the idea that there is a recipe for grieving or one right way to go about integrating a loss. Listen to learn new ways of conceptualizing the unfolding of grief. During the discussion, Jana mentioned a couple of relevant resources:   Getting Grief Right , a NYT Opinio...

In this inaugural episode of the Grief Out Loud Podcast, Jana and Brendon introduce themselves, talk about the history of The Dougy Center, and our work with grieving children and their families. Jana and Brendon also do a little housekeeping with respect to episode timing (weekly) and duration (aiming for 15-20 minutes), as well as what TDC can offer to the podcast community. Resources mentioned...