Grief Out Loud

Based on numbers from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, heroin overdose deaths increased by six  times from 2001 to 2014.  In one state it is estimated that heroin overdose deaths jumped by 85% in the last two years. With this huge rise in overdose deaths, there is little out there on how to best support those who are left behind. Parents, children, siblings, partners, family members, and frie...

Jana is joined by Dougy Center staff member, Heather Dorfman, to talk about what helps (or might help) in grief, outside the realm of more formal support. As you listen to this episode, keep in mind: These ideas may help for some, not others. What's helpful can be unique for each person and very much informed by culture and other identities (just like grief). Some may have more options around taki...

Whether it is a murder, murder-suicide, or a being killed by a driver under the influence, violent death adds multiple layers of complexity to grief. Jana and Joan discuss what children and teens may experience, along with suggestions for how to help. For additional information, refer to our Tip Sheet: Supporting Children and Teens After a Violent Death  and our interactive  workbook for children...

In the two years since his dad died, Mike bought a house, got married, and is expecting his first child. This episode explores what it means to grieve the person you would have turned to the most for advice and guidance on these major milestones in life. It's the story of a son whose father's values, principles, and personality continue to influence who he is and how he lives. 

Dougy Center staff member, Joan Schweizer Hoff, joins Jana to talk about the top 5 things school administrators will want to consider when a student, teacher, or staff member dies. Top 5 Things: Delivering the news - How do you let the community know? What do you say/not say? The first days back at school - Suggestions for supportive activities. Memorial activities - What types of memorials do sch...

There is a lot that goes unsaid in grief, particularly when it comes to dating after the death of a partner. Jana talks with Megan Devine, grief thinker, speaker, and author of the audio book,  When Everything is Not Okay: Practices to Help You Stay in Your Heart & Not Lose Your Mind,  about what comes up when grief and dating overlap. When do you know you're ready? How do you talk with your child...

As a child Rachel Stephenson learned first hand the pain of not knowing the truth about her mother's death. The secrecy in her family led to a disconnection with her remaining parent and added layers of confusion and fear. In this episode, Rachel joins Jana with suggestions for how to talk openly and honestly with children about grief and loss.  Be sure to watch Rachel's  TEDxCUNY Talk: Against Gr...

How do we talk with the youngest children about death? What words should we use? Can they even understand? In this episode Jana talks with Joan Schweizer Hoff about what helps (and what doesn't) when it comes to supporting preschoolers after a death. While children this age don't have the cognitive capacity to fully grasp the permanence and universal nature of death, concrete explanations, patienc...

For those who are grieving, birthdays and anniversaries of a loved one's death can loom large. What we do to mark these days is as individual and unique as our grief and the relationship we shared with the person who died. In this episode, Jana talks with Jodie about how her family approaches the birthday and anniversary of her baby Silas's death. For the past five years, Jodie and her family have...

The public and often sensationalized nature of a murder-suicide can overshadow the heartbreak and grief of those left behind. In this episode, Stephanie, a grieving mother and wife, joins Jana to talk about the deaths of both her husband and daughter. Stephanie's story offers ideas and suggestions for others facing similar losses.   

V was six when her father died from cancer, but it wasn't until two decades later that she consciously engaged with her grief. A seeming random encounter at a local craft store cracked open emotions she wasn't able to explore as a child, leading to an avalanche of grief she never expected. As an adult, V turns to art and connections with others who are grieving for solace and understanding. 

"How do I tell my children?" When someone dies of suicide, parents and caregivers want to know how to talk with their children about the death. Jana and Joan Schweizer Hoff explain why it's so important to tell children the truth about suicide and offer concrete suggestions for how to talk with them. For additional information, please see  The Dougy Center's Suicide Resources Tip Sheet

Under the best of circumstances, the November & December holidays can be stressful. Add in grieving a loss and they can feel completely overwhelming. In this episode, you'll hear suggestions for navigating this time of year and ideas for incorporating memories of those who have died into your holiday traditions. The Dougy Center's Getting Through the Holiday Tip Sheet and Holiday Plan Worksheet Ja...

The last in a three-part series talking with those grieving the death of someone when the relationship was complex, difficult, or challenging. Jana talks with Diana about her father who died after seven years of no contact with him. Her mother, whom she was very close with, died 13 years earlier. 

This is the second episode in a three-part series about grieving when the relationship with the person who died was difficult or challenging. Jana talks with Ashley, whose relationship with her brother was very conflicted. In the year before his sudden death, they began to reconcile, adding another layer to the complexity of grief when he died. 

This is the first in a three-part series about grieving when the relationship with the person who died was complex or conflicted. In this episode, Jana is joined by Jenny, a mother of three who experienced the loss of her husband and their father. Jenny talks about how her grief was affected by the fact that she and her husband were recently separated when he died. She also offers advice and sugge...

Why do people die of suicide? Join Jana and Donna Schuurman for a discussion about this complex question.  Two prominent theories mentioned by Donna: Edwin Shneidman "Suicide is caused by psychache. Psychache refers to the hurt, anguish, soreness, aching, psychological pain in the psyche, the mind. Suicide occurs when the psychache is deemed by that person to be unbearable."  Reference: Suicide as...

Eleanor and Litsa from What's Your Grief join us as special guests to talk about becoming a parent when you're grieving the death of your own parent or sibling. Listen in for suggestions on how to help your children build a relationship with the memory of the person who died and ways to make time for your own grief and self-care.    Resources for talking with children and teens about death: http:/...

Have you ever struggled with the idea of finding closure in grief? Given grief's ongoing and evolving nature, the search for final closure can be a misguided pursuit, one that leaves us disheartened and even ashamed. In this episode you'll hear from a variety of grieving young adults as they break open the idea of closure and identify significant turning points in their process. You'll learn about...

When someone dies, it creates upheaval in the support system, leading to unfamiliar territory in terms of how to help those with different perceptions and expressions of grief such as language, repetitive gestures or patterning, emotional disconnect, and searching behaviors. Although the outward expression of someone's grief may be difficult to recognize, the need for their grief to be acknowledge...

How do we help children when a family member is dying? The diagnosis of a terminal illness brings uncertainty, fear, and heartbreak into their lives, leaving the adults who love them unsure of what to do or say. In this episode, Jana talks Tony Grace about how to best support children when a family member has an advanced serious illness. Here are some suggestions for ways to talk with them about t...

Jana talks with Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, a staff member at The Dougy Center, about ways to support children who experience the death of a brother or sister. The loss of a child shatters assumptions parents hold regarding their role as protector and their beliefs about the natural order of children outliving their parents. A child's death can cause tremendous upheaval in families as a parent's overw...

Jana talks with Erin Shuster about the death of her brother from suicide. A former young adult group participant and volunteer, Erin talks openly about the unique aspects of grief when someone dies of suicide and how she learned to identify her needs and advocate for herself.  For information about our groups for young adults, visit:  http://www.dougy.org/grief- resources/help-for-young- adults/  ...

Jana and Joan Schweizer Hoff talk about navigating Father's Day while grieving. Joan, a long-time staff member at The Dougy Center, shares both personal and professional experiences in constructing new ways to approach the holiday. Whether you're grieving the loss of a father, or parenting a child who is,  some of these suggestions may be helpful: Know that for many, the lead up is the worst part....

Jana and Donna Schuurman discuss terms to avoid, and what to say instead, when talking about suicide. Here is a link to download our Tip Sheet  on how to support children and teens who have had someone die of suicide. Terms not to use (and why): 1. "Committed Suicide" Committed suicide,' with its implications of criminality, is a carryover from the Middle Ages, when civil authorities, finding the...