Grief Grower

If you've ever asked, "Is it even possible to come back to life after loss?"—this episode is for you. You'll get an honest answer to one of grief's most common and urgent questions, plus a practical 5-step framework for rebuilding after any devastating loss, regardless of what you've lost or how long ago it happened. You'll learn: Why coming back to life after loss isn't a shiny comeback story—and...

When you love someone through a long illness, grief comes long before death does. Today, therapist and widower Gordon Brewer shares what 13 years of caregiving, anticipatory grief, and loss taught him—including why men often struggle most with the parts of caregiving they can never fix. You'll learn: Why caregiving can feel like continual surrender—especially for men socialized to protect and fix...

In this special "Supporting Someone" episode, you'll hear the live recording of my author talk from the Of Course I'm Here Right Now book launch party in Chicago—a practical, story-driven breakdown of three phrases that help supporters show up for grieving people with confidence and care. You'll learn: Why grieving people tell themselves three core stories—"I'm crazy," "I'm alone," and "My life wi...

Secondary losses are the ripple effects that follow a major loss—and naming them can be one of the most validating things you do for yourself in grief. I'm breaking down what secondary losses are, sharing real examples, and walking you through a simple three-part framework for identifying and processing yours. You'll learn: The difference between a primary loss and a secondary loss—and why both de...

Getting support is important after loss, but it can feel hard to ask for it. Today, I'm sharing seven practical, gentle ways to ask for help after loss—especially when your energy is low and even naming what you need feels overwhelming. I'll talk about how to get support with both the logistics of daily life and the emotional weight of grief. You'll learn: The difference between needing help livin...

In this unedited, in-the-moment episode of Grief Grower , I'm unboxing my new book,  Of Course I'm Here Right Now and sharing what it's about, who it's for, and why words matter so much in grief. You'll also hear a short excerpt from the introduction. You'll hear: Why this book isn't a memoir—but a practical guide for what to say to someone grieving The three phrases at the heart of the book: "of...

If you've ever wondered what to say to someone grieving—or worried about saying the wrong thing—this episode will help you understand why words matter more than you think, get helpful scripts to say after any kind of loss, and learn how to use words to support someone with care and confidence. You'll learn: Why "I don't know what to say" is such a common response to grief What happens when grief i...

Grief doesn't come with built-in reason or purpose, and it definitely doesn't follow a straight line! In this conversation with therapist and author Alex Mammadyarov, we explore what it actually looks like to grow through grief in real life—not in theory. Together, we explore: Why "everything happens for a reason" can feel invalidating—and what to focus on instead Why it's actually a good sign whe...

Learn six powerful ways your words can support someone who is grieving using the SCRABL structure from my new book Of Course I'm Here Right Now . If you've ever worried about saying the wrong thing, you'll gain a deeper understanding of why words matter—plus simple, meaningful scripts you can use right away. You'll learn: The six roles words play in supporting someone who is grieving (SCRABL) Why...

Grief rarely gets better all at once, but there are quiet, meaningful signs that it's shifting. This "Ask Shelby" episode answers a question many grieving people carry: How will I know I'm going to be okay? You'll hear five real-life indicators of healing, plus reflection questions to help you see your own growth. You'll hear: How to recognize signs you're healing from grief What "being okay" actu...

If you've been told to "find closure" after a loss, you're not alone—but that advice may be doing you more harm than good. Closure in grief is often treated as the ultimate goal of healing, yet many grieving people find it impossible—or even undesirable. I agree with them! You'll learn: Why closure is an unhelpful goal in grief What "closure after death" really implies—and why it falls short of wh...

Wondering how to comfort someone who's grieving? Learn three powerful strategies—validation, consistent presence, and gentle perspective—that support a grieving friend without fixing or forcing hope. Plus, discover your unique Grief Supporter Strength with my free quiz. You'll discover: How to validate a grieving person's emotions without being a therapist What it means to show up after everyone e...

How do you grieve when your body is the site of loss? Lisa Keefauver, author of  Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch , joins me to talk about something we don't discuss nearly enough: grief in the body. From cancer treatment to identity shifts to looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself, we explore what it means to experience embodied grief—and how to cope when your body is the loss you're grieving....

If you're grieving but the tears won't come, this episode is for you. You'll learn five reasons you might not be crying—even if you feel heartbroken. Whether you're numb, overwhelmed, or just not a crier, this conversation will help you better understand your grief. You'll hear: Why crying isn't the only valid grief response What shock and safety have to do with blocking tears Common fears about c...

You got through the first year of grief—but year two feels heavier, not lighter. Today, I'm sharing why grief often gets harder after the first year, what no one tells you about the second year of loss, and why struggling now doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. You'll learn: Why "the first year is the worst" is a lie How year two reveals hidden grief no one warned you about What happens whe...

Struggling with sleep after a loss? In this episode, I explore how grief disrupts your ability to fall asleep—or makes you want to sleep all the time. You'll discover: 11 grief-informed sleep tips based in mine and my clients' experiences What to do during the day to support rest at night Gentle rituals to help you fall asleep (and stay asleep) What to do when you wake up in the middle of the nigh...

If you want to know how to support a grieving friend without saying the wrong thing—or disappearing altogether—you are not alone. In this "Ask Shelby" episode, I share practical, compassionate guidance for what to say to someone grieving, using words that actually help in the days, months, and years after loss. You'll learn: Why words are one of the most powerful (and free) tools for grief support...

What do you do with a person's things after they die? This week, Charlene Lam joins me to explore "the stuff of grief"—and how curating can become a meaningful, healing practice. We talk about her 3-step method, the roles objects play in grief, and why you may be more of a curator than you think. You'll learn: The "Three C's" of curating someone's belongings after they die The difference between "...

"Time heals all" is one of the most commonly repeated phrases in grief support—but is it actually helpful? Discover the history behind this platitude, why it often causes more harm than good, and what actually supports healing after loss. Where "time heals all" originated—and why it stuck 3 reasons the phrase harms more than helps What to do instead of waiting for time to pass What to say to griev...

If you've ever felt broken, lost, or completely alone in your grief, this episode is for you. I'm sharing 15 short, nonreligious affirmations that have brought me comfort and a sense of stability in grief's hardest moments—along with insights from my students inside Life After Loss Academy. These aren't fluffy or sugarcoated. They're honest, grounding, and written to meet you exactly where you are...

You've probably heard it—or maybe even said it: "I can't imagine what you're going through." It sounds compassionate on the surface, but it often creates emotional distance instead of connection. In this episode, I explain why this common sympathy phrase misses the mark for many grievers and what to say that's actually comforting. You'll learn: Why "I can't imagine" feels dismissive to grievers Th...

When someone dies, social media can feel like the last thing on your mind. But often times, posting online the best way to update lots of friends and family at once. In this episode, I'll give you a clear, step-by-step framework for announcing a death on Facebook, Instagram, or other social media platforms with heart, compassion, and care. You'll learn: What to say (and what not to say) Photo idea...

The quote: "Grief is just love with no place to go" is everywhere, but it doesn't tell the whole story of life after loss. In this episode, explore what grief really is, especially when love isn't the defining emotion. You'll learn: Why "grief is love" doesn't work for everyone How grief shows up after painful or distant relationships What grief includes beyond love—like identity, longing, and rel...

Looking for grief support that doesn't require a whole bunch of your time, energy, or money? In this episode, I'm sharing 10 free (or nearly free) activities that can bring real comfort when you're grieving. These small, gentle practices are doable even on your hardest days. You'll learn: Why grief makes even basic tasks feel impossible How simple actions like walking, crafting, or journaling can...

When someone asks, "How are you?" do you freeze, fumble, or fake a smile? In this episode, I share 20 ways to respond to that loaded question while grieving—sorted from most to least personal. You'll learn: How to protect your grief without hiding it When it's okay to say "I'm fine" Four types of responses for different social situations Why honesty isn't all-or-nothing in grief Pre-order my new b...